Sick
by Medley Nightfallen
Summary: After a Mission which resulted in the deaths of 2 people, Gajeel finds himself becoming Makarov's target. And as if it wasn't enough, he feels more and more terrible. Could the indestructible Dragon Slayer be sick? The story takes place after the battle against Phantom Lord, and some calm times passed. M for safety and characters death. Psychological Drama. By Pacifique
1. Prologue

**Yo! Here's another fanfiction about Gajeel and Levy by Pacifique. I will do my best to give it the translation it deserve, because it is one of the greatest GaLe story I ever read! It is darker than most of the GaLe fic, but more realistic, and I hope you could enjoy it fully. For now it's rated T. May turn M later for safety (I don't really know, I'll ask you)**

I only own the translation, Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, "Sick" belongs to Pacifique 

**X_x**

**SICK**

**Prologue**

**(by Pacifique)**

Prostrate on his bed, his teeth gritted, Gajeel was waiting for the crisis to end. He had leaned to live with it, in only a few weeks, this shooting pain had fully become part of his life. Deep down it was almost reassuring. It was the proof that things couldn't last eternally like this. Someday, he'd have to end this routine.

He closed his eyes, trying in vain to control his breath. His feet and his fingers were already dumb, not answering his injunctions anymore, painful as if they were dipping into the acid. He just had to wait, it always stopped eventually. He turned onto his back, freeing his erratic breath, and his hand appeared before his face. Suddenly he stopped breathing.

It should have been an ashy black in the red light, it should have been black. But it was shining as if it was covered in blood. If someone could have the chance to witness this scene he or she would have had the privilege to see Gajeel, bare chest on his bed, hidden in the half-light. He or she could have seen the fear dancing in his red eyes, making his face turn white. If this person had known Gajeel for a long time, he or she would have known that unlike we believed about him, it wasn't the first time that expression was spreading over his features. But the Dragon Slayer was almost always alone, and no one knew him for that long.

His other hand was the same, shining in purple, it looked liquid. During a long moment he was sure he had blood on his hands. As if this figured expression that was suiting him so well had decided to turn literally real. But he understood it wasn't the case. Actually his hands had become cold as if he was dead and it was just the evening light that gave them this color. In fact, they were covered in metal, his metal, his own magic was eating him.

It wasn't something he could fight.

When the crisis was over and his hands turned back to themselves Gajeel stood. He stood a second before his mirror, the time to hate his reflection, to composed his usual cold face. He was about to do something he had never done before, something he hated: begging for help. No, actually he was going to force someone to help him.

During his walk he thought he should have left this guild while it was still possible, before Makarov gave him this mission. A little while ago, he was really proud. He had decimated alone a few beginner dark guilds which members seemed to be exactly like him before: a ridicule puppet. He had met some strong opponents amongst them, and he had screamed at them, believing it with all his heart _"I can't lose! I'm a Fairy Tail mage."_

"_Bullshit__"_ He concluded for himself as he pushed the Guild door.

A tens of sharp icy glares pierced him and he sighed loudly.

**x_X**

**Yes, short, but it is only the prologue. What happened to Gajeel?**

**Please review, as much as I love your comments, the real author loves them even more!**


	2. Litanie

**Chapter 1: Litanie**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Let's travel in time, to the beginning of the nightmare...**

**Remember: The story is mainly seen with Gajeel's eyes and mind, so are Makarov, Fairy Tail members and the world around him. So the story describes them as darker people than they should be in the manga.**

**Enjoy... ^w^**

**I only own the translation. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima. "Sick", Roxanna, Lena and Méloée belong to Pacifique.**

**X_x**

_A few months earlier…_

Gajeel knocked at Makarov's door, the shadow of fear clawing his stomach. If the Guild members seemed to act with less and less hostility toward him, he remembered too well the master's words. He will never be forgiven. The old man didn't beat around the bush to the Dragon Slayer's relief.

"I've got a mission for you." He simply declared. He replied nothing, to busy to try to hide his surprise.

"There's a new Guild in town… a non-Official Guild. Its name is Litanie. It exists for some years now but recently, its headquarters had been moved in an abandoned tower in Magnolia. I want to keep an eye on them. Go and see. Tell them I banished you, propose to join them and watch."

Gajeel sighed. He had a bad feeling and clearly he didn't want to spend his days watching instead of reacting.

"You do understand that you're the only one who can accomplish this mission." Makarov added. He stood from his desk where he had sat cross-legged, and started to walk up and down. But he stopped, scanning his face.

"I know." Gajeel growled. Yes he knew, he was the right man for the job, in the magical world people were stunned to see the reputed sanguinary iron Dragon Slayer at Fairy Tail. He seemed mean, when he was walking in the street people were changing of sidewalk to avoid his shadow, or they were watching their own feet.

"I'm counting on you." Makarov went on. "From now I don't want to see you here anymore. You're going to live over there, entirely. Every night at midnight, you'll come and meet me to report."

Gajeel nodded and left without a single word. Did the master think he was bearing the solitude, despite what he'd told him this famous day? Or worse, did he think he could make friends in this potentially decadent Guild? He sighed and sat at his table where no one dared join him if not for Juvia for time to time. He had to admit that if he believed now in Fairy Tail ideal, he was still almost always alone. The others were certainly ignoring that if they'd ask to leave for a mission with them, he would accept. Not without spitting a rude comment, of course, but he would say yes. Mirajane served him without a glance a pile of pieces of iron more or less rusty and he ate calmly before taking a few stuffs and he left, not bothering to say goodbye. It was necessary that the others didn't know anything for the sake of the mission success. The others had to believe he had betrayed them. But he was hoping that after the news would have spread, someone would still put some trust in him. However he didn't really believe it.

Joining Litanie was quite easy. Before you could say "metal", he had his own bedroom under their headquarters' roof in the middle of the broken beams colonized by spiders. It was hard at Fairy Tail but not here. Here everyone seemed to esteem from the beginning that he belonged there. It deeply hurt him, so he became even more execrable than usual.

The Guild master wasn't often showing, and when he was showing he was so draped in black clothes you couldn't see his face. Gajeel had seen him once and he had been shocked by the deep sadness he was emanating. His right arm was the total opposite, a little long blonde curly haired female mage, always beaming. Her walk was sweet and her voice was suave. The joy of life incarnated, an Olympian serenity under any circumstances, as optimist as a Tibetan monk. The dragon Slayer never had the occasion to see what kind of magic they had but all he needed to know was that they were both extremely powerful. By the way they were the only worthy people to his greatest dismay. For an unknown reason, unlike their master, the Guild members seemed to refuse the blonde's presence amongst them. And even if her beaming manners strongly getting on Gajeel's nerves, he couldn't help but feel for her a kind of strange compassion. Just like him at Fairy Tail, she was out of the picture here with her light, her purity in the middle of that dark ruined place no one beside the master wished to rebuild. Her name was Lena apparently. As for the master, everyone in appearance was acting with an overly deference toward him, and that prevented Gajeel to know his name. Behind his back, however, his disciples were treating him of slack geezer for the nicest, and of coward for the others. As for the little mage who was keeping him company she was benefiting of adjectives even less flattering like "little whore" or "ass licker".

In short it seemed for Gajeel that all those people were rather unhappy and inoffensive. There was nothing to fear. He told Makarov the first night, hoping he could go back home, in his apartment. But the old man ordered him to continue the mission. It was tough but it was especially insulting. As he wasted his time in this unworthy Guild he had the feeling to be a good for nothing.

The situation deteriorated slowly as the days passed. Firstly, two of the Guild girls began to follow him everywhere. One had short crimson red hair and ash-black eyes. She was creating from the tip of her fingers red lightnings almost as inoffensive for him as mosquito' bites, but devastating for the ones who couldn't defend themselves. She was always wearing an ultra-stretching leather outfit even when it was summer, ornate in welts reminding her powers. Her friend was round, pulpy and had very long blue hair she spent hours to tress. After a few minutes of concentration, she could create salty water waves more or less big that were her comrade's carrying the electricity. Combining their magics was the only clever thing they seemed able to do. One's name was Roxana and the other's was Méloée.

Too late, Gajeel realized it wasn't only a strategically important support those damsels were coveting. They admired him, _him_, mighty Dragon Slayer, a little like Jet and Droy with Levy. He was jinxed but at least it erased the few doubts that could have subsisted about his loyalty toward this new Guild. He accepted the situation as best as he could.

And it wasn't easy.

"Ah what's this horrible thing on your shoulder?" Méloée stated completely disgusted tens days after his arrival.

"It's a Guild tattoo, stupid idiot! Certainly from his former Guild." Roxana answered before he could. They were always like this, especially around him, Méloée still concerned with the physical appearance and Roxana trying in vain to act as if she was smarter not to avail.

Gajeel didn't even have to invent a lie.

"It's so ugly! We have to remove it!" The sea mage exclaimed again.

"Let's replaced it by our." Roxana added in a sadistic tone.

Without asking his opinion, Méloée left behind the plank and the trestles that served as a bar and came back with a sharp knife. She grabbed his arm and Gajeel had no choice and didn't protest, fearing to act suspicious. He was inwardly enraged to have to suffer it for this useless mission. But after all, he had suffered worse, far worse. He gritted her teeth bravely until Roxana finished the bandage. And yet he had to grit them again. At Fairy Tail the mark was made with a magical stamp. If the mage didn't believe in the Guild anymore or if his departure was proclaimed it would be removed by itself. A Litanie it was quite different. Their Guild mark was a scarification, an elegant complicated L, so painful and long to realized. After a short dispute the two young girls had claimed this mark would be on his pectoral. Surely a ruse to see him bare chest. He didn't like the way they put their kids hands on his body. He gritted his teeth.

At the evening Makarov had the bad idea to criticize him about the loss of his mark. And despite all his efforts to remain calm, the Dragon Slayer eventually snapped.

"You really think it's amusing for me to act like a clown every fucking whole day? It's been ten days I tell you they had nothing to be afraid of!"

Despite his anger the master replied with his usual calm.

"You removed your mark Gajeel." It was exactly the same sentence he just pronounced.

"They removed it. Don't you think it'd have appear suspicious if I'd said no? You said if I had taken lives for Jose I would have been a puppet, but right now I have the feeling not to be anything better!" Makarov took a step back. They were on Fairy Tail's roofs, dominating the town. But at this high, no one could hear or see them.

"Are you saying you want to leave Fairy Tail?" Makarov asked calmly. Gajeel was hurt by his relaxed tone. No matter if he wanted to stay or not, it didn't seem to matter for him.

"But no! I just wanna go home." The Dragon Slayer roared as he took a step forward on the slippery tiles.

"Are you sure Fairy Tail is your home Gajeel?" The master asked as he took another step back. This sharp acid question wounded him. Of course Fairy Tail was his home. Where else could he go? To Litanie where everyone was stealing? The only person he could talk to was Juvia, and he was carrying the mark he'd just lost. He believed that nothing was impossible or hopeless for Fairy Tail, he would have give his life for one of each being of Fairy Tail despite their furtive glances toward him. An immense hole opened under his feet when he thought he could lose that precious gift. More than a home where you could find love and understanding, Fairy Tail was a cause he'd die for. They were good people but he was bad, it was logical they didn't really want him. All he was asking was a chance to prove himself as a comrade.

That's when the first crisis suddenly happened, he had the feeling that his feet and his hands were in fire, for a moment he wondered if Natsu was suffering when he was creating it. But the night was as dark as ever and Makarov was scanning him curiously.

"Gajeel?" He asked as he came closer "Are you okay?"

The Dragon Slayer wanted to walk toward him in turn while the pain the preventing him to talk but his feet refused to answer. As hard as the stone, they couldn't move anymore. His ankle refused to bend to fit the slope and he collapsed slowly, slipping over the soaked roof until he fell from it. The lights of the city danced under him, the brouhaha from Fairy Hills reached him a brief moment before he hit the ground. He roared helplessly, making a few bird flying away in panic, but nothing answered him. Makarov never came to check on him, fearing someone could see them together of course. He had fallen with his hand stretched toward the sky, after the edge of the roof had escaped his inert hand and this desperate position, this horrible burning sensation reminded him a memory he didn't dare to explore.

Roxana and Méloée eventually looked for him. _They_ did.

"Fairy Tail…" The thunder girl growled "The o so generous people… Apparently they let people dying in front of their door."

Méloée's laughter was the only answer she got.

They had to combine their physical strength to carry him, because he couldn't move anymore. His back had certainly suffered a huge shock. Before he black-outed the last thing running through his mind was that he didn't remember he weighed so heavy.

**X_x**

**So? What do you think of it? Of Makarov's reaction and Gajeel's position? Will the things turn for the better or...?**

**Please review if you like it (...actually if you didn't like it, please review too!)**


	3. We are the same

**Chapter 2: We are the same**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Good morning/evening everyone! How are you today? Blue sky? Sunny day? Chirping birds? Gajeel feeling better and approaching the end of his mission? *snickers* uhuhuh... How naive of you, you're adorable! ^w^ Yeah I'm a mean troll!**

**Please enjoy and give a review. Please? Even the tiniest one, so I don't have the impression to translate for nothing. *0***

**Hem! Anyway, enjoy! (or enrage, the choice is yours, but don't get too angry this is not over yet)**

**I only own the translation. "Sick", Méloée, Roxana, Lena and Killian belong to Pacifique and Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

He was entirely alone when he awoke. He sighed. He'd preferred to be asleep rather than staying there, immobile, he couldn't move because of his legs which didn't respond anymore, prisoner of his bed, of his own body. Now the burning sensation was gone, but all the others had also left him, from his feet to his lower belly. And despite his best efforts he didn't move a single toe. A deep despair struck him and for even an instant he thought he was going to cry.

Gritting his teeth, he refused to call for help yet. An eternity passed before someone knocked and entered without waiting an answer. Gajeel was expecting to face Roxana's comments but instead it was Lena who was standing at the twirled doorway, her eternal smile on her face.

"Oh, Gajeel, are you hurt?" She asked maternally. He felt a sort of nausea overwhelming him but he had no choice and he let her come closer.

"But… your back is broken…" She whispered suddenly as her smile was leaving her face. It was replaced by a focused expression.

Pieces of her white dress rustled and she bent over him, holding her stretched hands above his torso. The light filled the room and a sweet sensation blocked the Dragon Slayer's mind. There was an interminable instant while it took his whole strengths to counter the warmth spreading through him. Then he felt his back being put back in place and the pain in his legs increased suddenly before it disappeared. When the obscurity came back, he blinked, dizzy.

"Do you feel better?" She asked beaming again.

Elegantly she brushed her interminable blond hair behind her ear as he nodded. There was no way he said thanks, he preferred remaining frozen on his bed rather than uttering this word.

She turned toward the door like a gracious dancer.

"Come please." She nearly chirped "Master Killian want to see you."

Killian, Gajeel thought immediately, so that was his name. If he hated Lena for healing him without his consent, he was sympathizing again now. His legs were weak but walking and they had climbed down the interminable insecure stairs without guardrail leading to the main hall. All the time during their descent they had murmured. This time she was the center of the attention. He heard distinctively the word "whore" in their path but she never lost her smile. As if she was home, she crossed the vast room in silence and under the glances before she reached the door leading to the master's room.

He was standing, facing a window close by the sea, right below. The tower was built on the top of a cliff where the wind was howling. It had been deserted because some feared it could crumble.

The healing mage brushed the other side of the desk and hugged Killian by behind.

"He's here." She whispered, before she left, draped in the fabric, sending a last smile to Gajeel.

The master of Litanie removed his hood and his brown hair looked almost gray into the light. He turned around and the dragon Slayer could barely distinguish his face because of the daylight that filtered through the dust.

He stepped forward in the shadow and Gajeel could see his pale skin and his inscrutable black hair falling before his hard face.

"I thought that saying this tower was about to collapse into the sea would be a pretty metaphor for this Guild." He began tiredly. "Just like us, it's about to fall. I thought they'd try at least to rebuild it, but they're spending time searching treasures, stealing brave people as they let their only home crumble."

Gajeel shrugged. The master plunged his sharp glare in his eyes, expecting an answer from him.

"At the same time" He eventually said "it's a Dark Guild…"

"Not a Dark Guild Gajeel!" Killian nearly shouted slamming his hand on his desk "A non-Official Guild thank you very much." He added more calmly. He paused, paced back and forth, while the fascinated Dragon Slayer was watching him. He was surprised to see such a malaise transpire from him, he was now seeing in the light the whole magnitude of his sadness.

"I'm born at Litanie." He explained. "When I was a kid we were a powerful dark Guild but we had no conviction, living of petty thefts and unplanned scrams. The habit want that the strongest mage become the new master. And by chance it was me. When I was a teen I had the project to revalorise the name of Litanie, so everyone could fear it. But we needed money so I proceeded to kidnap the daughter of a rich family from our land. This girl was Lena."

Once again he seemed to expect an answer from Gajeel, but the said man was confused by his speech.

"I don't get anything."

"She's more than a healing mage Gajeel, Lena is able to suppress any physical pain, illness, suffering but also animosity, anger, sorrow. Only, she can do it only if w let her do. And I let her do Gajeel, she made me understand that Litanie was following the wrong way and that fear and money don't bring happiness, on the contrary. But this story is too long… now I'm stuck with this Guild of lost children and I refuse to abandon them. They say I'm a coward, they think I'm not up to the task. We just have to agree over the meaning of the greatness, do you get it Gajeel?"

"No I don't get it. What do I have to do in all this?"

Not bothering to skip from one thing to another, the master went on after an umpteenth half-spin in front of the desk:

"When you first arrive here, I wondered why you left Fairy Tail. This Guild is so powerful that some black mages secretly dream to belong there. Well… that's what people tell... they also tell that Makarov's fairies are mages with incomparable human qualities and once they wear the mark, they never give up. That's the way I think every Guilds must follow. I couldn't believe you truly left, willingly."

"Makarov banished me." Gajeel replied coldly. This lie had a bitter taste of truth in his opinion.

"Makarov doesn't banish so easily." Killian replied suddenly angrily "The condemnation is foreign to him, he only knows love and forgiveness. I know the truth Gajeel, I know what you are."

The dragon Slayer stepped back, put his metal armor and transformed his arm into a black sword.

"Now Gajeel, I am a Guild master you can't win, and even if you could, I don't wish to fight you."

Indeed the master of Litanie hadn't moved at all, he didn't looked afraid or willing to attack. Gajeel relaxed, but let the metal over his skin. He was facing someone extremely mighty, he could feel it inside his bones.

"Makarov want to keep an eye on me. But that's for the better. This night when you'll go report, tell him I want to talk to him. Explain that my goal is to make this Guild an Official Guild like his, but I don't know how to find my words. Tell him I want to meet him and obtain some advices."

Gajeel's eyes widened. The puzzle of this huge speech pulled back together before him. Now he understood why there was such a sorrow in his eyes and he couldn't help but feel an immense sympathy toward the master.

"I can always try. But it's been ten days I tell the old man he had nothing to be afraid from you, and every time he replied that I've lost my marque."

" Now Gajeel." Killian whispered. "This is not a speech worthy of a Fairy Tail's mage. Mark or not you are one of them, you will succeed I know it."

The dragon Slayer would have hugged him. But he merely smirk, finally someone was acknowledging him for what he was now, beyond his appearance, beyond what he did in the past.

"I've another mission for you." Killian added. "Use the fear you can create to force those lazy children to rebuilt the tower, before it collapse."

"With pleasure." Gajeel answered before he left with another smirk.

Always under his iron armor he climbed up the exterior wall and hung from a moth-eaten beam by the legs. He inspired deeply, head down, his hair floating toward the ground and he screamed.

"Hey you! Listen to me! Master told to rebuild the tower! Now! So move your asses before I get angry!"

Some of them looked up, blank faces, incredulous.

"Oi are you deaf or what?" He growled. The silence fell for a moment and everyone suddenly started to move.

During the following hours Gajeel acted like a foreman, ordering to transport a plank here and there, to plug the gaps, to reinforce the stairs. Someone left with money to buy new tables and a beautiful solid wood bar and a few closets. At the evening the stairs were equipped with a banister. When a member was coming back from a "mission" he was watching his comrades working for a moment then was eventually joining them in desperation.

At the end of the day the main hall looked far more welcoming. Méloée had the good idea to clean the dust with a great wave which left in its path a salt that illuminated everything but now they had to sweep it outside. Around midnight everyone, exhausted, went to sleep and Gajeel left to report to Makarov under the friendly eye of Killian and Lena.

He'd spent the whole day transporting heavy charges, creating iron beams for the stairs threatening to collapse – the first emergency. He had got used to his second skin to the point he forgot to remove it. It was making him almost invisible in the dark.

A shadow of fear was seizing him as he climbed on the rooftop and he relived his fall with a shudder. He carefully advanced on the soaked tiles due to the rain.

"Gajeel, I was scared about you." The master whispered when he arrived. "You didn't land too hard?"

"I could have lost my legs." The Dragon Slayer answered coldly.

Makarov didn't seem to take notice of it and asked:

"Do you have things to tell me?"

"Yes."

The master crossed his arms, seeming satisfied.

"The master of Litanie's name is Killian. He discovered me during the afternoon. I thought it was going to end badly but he didn't want to fight. He asked me to come and find you."

Makarov rose an eyebrow as Gajeel went on:

"He charges me to give you a message. He wants to make his guild an official guild. But with his group of goods for nothing that only think about their asses he doesn't know how to act. He wishes to meet you to ask you advice."

Makarov's answer was more than unexpected.

"And you Gajeel? What do you think?"

He didn't even take an instant to think.

"I think it's not a bad idea."

Makarov sighed.

"Gajeel, did you take your time to think about it? Did the idea of him playing with you and using you brush you mind?"

The Dragon Slayer took a ginger step forward on the wet roof.

"To be honest no I didn't. I can tell you he looked very sincere. And even if he'd lie, you won't take too much risks, yes he is powerful but it's not enough to defeat Fairy Tail by himself. You can be sure his underling would take to their heels instead of fighting with him. Only his right arm would stay by his side. She is powerful but her magic is useless in a fight."

"What if she's good at lying?" Makarov asked again.

"She healed my legs, master!" Gajeel countered losing his patience, "I couldn't feel anything until she took care of it!" He went on as he showed his iron stomach with his hand "And one second later, nothing, I was healed!"

"You aren't objective." Makarov answered in stark terms.

"Of course I'm not!" Gajeel shouted "I can see a poor guy who tries to do something good and you refuse to help him." He added on a cold tone in turn. "I'm disappointed Makarov."

Then he turned around, taking care not to look down.

"Where are you going?" The master asked again.

"Home!" Gajeel shouted back.

"No, go back to Litanie and try to learn more about it. You know the fate that waits the one who desert a mission ordered by the master."

For a moment Gajeel hesitated. Makarov refused to believe him, and he refused to believe what Killian was saying. Was there still a sense to be a Fairy Tail mage? What does dire this hand Makarov had stretched to him mean? But finally jumping from roof to roof Gajeel went back to Litanie. After all, he deserved it, he had hurt Levy, Jet and Droy, he had destroyed their Guild headquarters. He had been naive to believe that Makarov would accept him without any payback, to think that someday he could truly see him like one of his children. It was time for him to accept that he will never be a true Fairy Tail mage. Evolving amongst them was already a chance.

"Makarov didn't believe me." He said to Killian and Lena who were waiting for him at the entrance of the wobbly tower. "Can I still bring my ass here?"

"Yes you can… bring it here." Lena answered.

"Deep down… you and me… we are the same." The master commented in the silence of the night. Gajeel nodded and went to bed without another word.

It was only now that he realized he should remove his metal armor. Firstly he realized with terror he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, his skin remained iron. When he finally managed to break free it was as if someone tearing the layers of his epidermis apart one by one. He fell on the floor, arms wrapped around his body which was twisting against his will. He had suddenly this familiar impression to be plunged in a burning bath like… like lava. So rolling on the side in an attempt to escape the pain, he stared at his hands, as black as ashes.

The crisis eventually passed like the first time but it took longer. The next morning, his wrists remained rigid for several hours as if some hard metal in his veins was blocking his movements. Not to mention it hurt like hell.

He still helped to carry on the Guild's reconstruction.

"What did the master want yesterday?" Roxana asked when she saw him.

"Nothing, he just wants me to supervise the tower reconstruction."

"Wow Gajeel." Méloée stated in an affectionate voice "You barely arrived and you've already upgrade."

**X_x**

**What do you think of Killian? Is he sincere? **

**Will Makarov reconsider his decision?**

**Will Gajeel feel better soon? (G: I'm perfectly fine, thank you very much!)**

**How could it turn better/worse? You'll see...**

**Kiss~ ^3^**

**Levy: Hey! What about me?  
Me: You'll appear soon enough, be patient. It is a GaLe after all! **


	4. The fight

**Chapter 3: The fight**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Good evening/morning! ^w^**

If I begin with a friendly sentence and a smile, there's several reasons:  
- Some of you gave me the proof I don't translate for nothing. It really warmed my heart, thank you so much!  
- Levy appears in this chapter! YEY!  
- And finally... *sadistic chuckle* I know you're going to want to kill something after reading. When I said it was a darker story than usually, I wasn't kidding. From now on, I increase the rating to M (for safety and characters death. Be warned). So please don't read if you're already depressed or if you don't want you mood to be ruined. HOWEVER I still assure you the story is great. It's just DARK.

Concerning Makarov in the former chapters: according to the author, Makarov is seen in Gajeel's eyes, and Gajeel has some trust issues due to things that happened to him in the past (you'll see) so Makarov seems colder. Makarov might act like the "bad guy" for once, but he isn't really, he just doesn't want to take any risk. He sounds harsh but he still trusts Gajeel, otherwise he wouldn't have sent him on such a mission. True, in the anime I'm sure he wouldn't act this way, but I'm not the one who decides. And come on, don't you think this is original?

Now... enjoy... or enrage (yes, you can enrage, you have our permission, we're ready. Please just try not to insult us).

I only own the translation. "Sick", Lena, Roxana, Méloée and Killian belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima. 

**x_X**

Things could have stayed this way, is a form of misfortune hadn't interfered. Gajeel had always thought to have a rotten lick and yet, he could never have guessed what would happen that day. By the way, he esteemed that being blocked inside a Guild of degeneration was more than enough, question misfortune.

Gajeel had insisted that Killian had to speak to Makarov himself, but it seemed the master was the victim of an inbred timidity. It prevented him to address directly his flock. Usually it was Lena who held the floor, but since no one was trusting her, it resulted the opposite effect expected. Finally the tower reconstruction was almost over. There were only the bedrooms to rebuild. Méloée, using a huge quantity of magic, had pushed the sea away on several meters by modifying the bottom, giving them a few years of tranquility. As the night came, Gajeel simply said Makarov there was nothing new and endured his daily crisis without saying a word to anyone.

He just had to wait that something happens, all in all.

Méloée and Roxana wanted to come with Gajeel in town. And since none of his two masters wanted him to look suspicious, he accepted. The afternoon kept the promise to be mortally bothering, but since Litanie's mission board was as empty as ever, he didn't really have the choice. He feared to meet some Fairy Tail members and managed to avoid the main street they usually took to go to the train station. The sun began to decline, and the girls had sore feet and he hoped they could finally go back. This long wandering had been pointless, they hadn't any money so they couldn't buy anything, they just drove around the city. Yes a real wandering.

They met them on the way back. Jet, Droy and of course Levy. He read on their faces a sort of hatred or disgust. Something terrible. He suddenly froze and the two girls' eyes turned malevolent as they got who they were.

"Long time no see Gajeel." Droy began. The Dragon Slayer thought bitterly this tone had nothing to envy to the one of the Dark Guilds masters.

"We meet again…" He whispered trying to appear calm not to avail. His mind was operating at its capacity limits and couldn't find a jail free card.

"We knew you hadn't simply left Gajeel. We know you betrayed us." Jet added "A Guild like Litanie… how low you have fallen."

Strangely, Levy merely looked down.

"Don't you dare insult my Guild!" Roxana spat. Her hands were already shining with red lightening. It was too late.

"I won't allow you, insects!" Méloée grunted. Watching the sky, she was calling the wave from her insides, Gajeel could hear the hearts pounding in the chests, filled with anger. Like a bomb timer, the racket was consuming him, blocking all coherent thoughts.

To the main surprise, Levy didn't jump into the argument. She gave Jet and Droy a look he didn't understand.

"Girls." The Dragon Slayer growled. "Master told us not to fight for nothing."

Those words had the exact opposite effect. Méloée focused even harder and Roxana replied:

"For nothing?! They insult us, and they aren't even powerful mages. Let's show them who we are!"

"Exactly, they're not worth it. There's no use to waste our energy." He went on.

"As if beating them was your problem. Honestly. You talk, you shout at us during the reconstruction, but you never fought for Litanie."

Roxana crossed her arms, and the lightening grew, spreading around her little thin body. On the other side, Jet and Droy were ready.

"Gajeel, you betrayed Fairy Tail." The speed mage suddenly shouted with ceremony, sounding perfectly ridiculous "You won't get away with it!"

Levy glanced at him again. It was not anger, it was fear he saw on her face. He didn't understand, but it troubled him. Jet's words had shaken his mind. Betraying Fairy Tail… that's what they all thought, that's what he tended to forget. Makarov wasn't going to deny this truth. They were already crouched into a fight stance while Levy stepped back waving her hands, it was too late, the fight was inevitable. He better had to find a way out quickly, or else the awkward magic of those beginner mages would cause damages.

Gajeel changed his arm into iron, trying not to think that the metal would certainly took advantage of the situation to hurt him. He couldn't fight with his fists only, like a vulgar human without magic. Without warning, he gave a strong blow into Jet's head. The boy flew and collapsed with a surprised groan into the river. At that moment the Dragon Slayer was sure he was just groggy, and it was exactly what he wanted.

Roxana stared at him with surprise.

"See" Gajeel explained "There's no glory in doing that."

"You're going to pay!" Droy roared as he invoked his plant magic. The Dragon Slayer countered with his arm, but at this very moment, the pain seized him entirely, his body covered in iron. He had to bite his lip not to scream, and he closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the blow. But when he opened them, Droy was lying before him, unconscious. The armor had reflected the magic, against his will.

"Wow Gajeel, so strong!" Méloée commented who understood her salty wave would be finally useless.

"This isn't 'so strong'!" The Dragon Slayer replied sternly "We're going to have the whole Fairy Tail Guild chasing us! Believe me… it's not great."

"Oh it's okay, relax… we're not scared of them…" Roxana chuckled.

Gajeel was about to reply when suddenly a scream of horror tore his insides. Levy was suddenly screaming, exploding her lungs, and it seemed this cry's vibrations were about to break him in two, in his iron armor.

She had plunged her hands into the water. In his fall, Jet's head had hit the edge of the canal. He seemed he was dead. The smell of blood made Gajeel want to puke. Suddenly a trembling Levy looked up from the soaked body, to discover that Droy was lying into a pool of blood. She screamed again, rushing at him.

"Let's get out of here…" Roxana whispered as her face turned paler. Méloée began shaking too.

Unlike him, those young girls never killed anyone.

Gajeel focused to remove his armor. Levy had the time to scream one more time before it faded. He tried to remain deaf to the pain to run away. But when he arrived to the headquarters he collapsed on the ground, unable to walk even more. His body froze and he curled up, unable to breath, or to think. The burn consumed everything, he was unable to remember his own name. A single thing was sure however. He had killed two Fairy Tail mages: he was also dead.

Roxana and Méloée gathered around him, in the middle of the curious crowd, but he didn't see them anymore. Lena raced downstairs and everyone let her pass. No mage at Litanie had ever seen someone suffering like this. Shocked, they remained silent. She put her two shining hands above him, but his face twisted into an horrible grimace, before she cried out too with him, her eyes on the ceiling. She was sent flying by her own magic through the room.

"I can't… there's nothing I can do…" She stammered.

"You can't save everyone." Killian whispered, hugging her trembling body. "We can't save everyone…"

X_x

Makarov took his decision. It was time to assume his mistakes, now that two of his children were dead. A few weeks ago, the council had understood something was going on at Litanie and they charged him to investigate. After all, who else, save Gajeel, could have gone there? No one. It was cruel to say, but if it had to work Fairy Tail mustn't doubt one of the mages. No one was doubting Juvia anymore, but for Gajeel things were different. He was distant, cold, always working alone or almost, never caring about others. It was obvious that the Dragon Slayer didn't feel like a Fairy Tail mage completely, he thought so, the whole town thought so too, so he was the ideal candidate for this mission. That's why he'd chosen him.

Of course, it wasn't the first lapse. However, Makarov had a part of responsibility in the death of Jet and Droy because he refused to listen Gajeel. If the council said something was happening, Makarov couldn't do otherwise than believe it. His duty as a Guild master commanded him to trust the authority and submit to it. But his father heart begged him to listen his children. He'd found himself in a very uncomfortable situation when Gajeel told him there was nothing to fear and wanted to go home, his home, Fairy Tail. He'd felt even more torn when Gajeel had fallen from the roof and he hadn't been able to help him, he couldn't take the risk to compromise the mission. But worst of all was when Gajeel had explained Killian's intentions, the master of Litanie.

He had chosen to listen the authority and not his kid. It was his greatest mistake. Now Killian wanted to meet him, he told him in that long letter he only desire peace and the two Litanie mages that witnessed the fight would be severely punished. He had added he knew Gajeel was a spy for a long time, and he wished leave the Dragon Slayer to Makarov about what had happened.

Now the master of Fairy Tail knew that Gajeel had been right from the start. Until this fight came… he didn't know what to think, and he didn't want to ask Levy to tell him. The poor girl was shocked, she hadn't said a word since then and seemed to be in a trance.

And yet he decided to used her as the instrument of his punishment. After all, she was the one who suffered the most. Makarov would wait until she felt better. Then she could decide what she wanted to do. The master knew Levy was intelligent, deep down she certainly was wiser than him on that matter. Now that Makarov had committed a mistake, he didn't want to be an ignorant judge anymore.

The master of Litanie would come to Fairy Tail to explain himself, and to bring Gajeel back home. In a few hours everything would be over, but nothing he decided would ever bring Jet and Droy back to life. And this truth was breaking is small stunted heart with each passing day.

**x_X**

…

***hiding* So? Enraged? *runaway* Ah, I almost want to apologize to you! ...almost.**

**I still wish you'll want to read the rest.**

**Now, what will Levy do?**

**What will Makarov do?**

**How Gajeel will cope with his actions?**


	5. Holidays

**Chapter 4: Holidays...**

**(by Pacifique)**

**...**

**Are you still here?**

**It seems that when bad things happen a lot of people are interested. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, fav or followed the story! **

**Yes, the story may have a tragic taste, but this is not really a tragedy. It's rather a drama. And if you like dramas, you're at the right place! From now on, you'd better get ready for the roller coaster, some moment will be sweeter and your guard will shake, some other will make you want to scream like I did. To give you an idea, let's say this chapter is neutral.**

**...and I doubt you'll like Makarov (again).**

**_At least there is some GaLe interaction, finally!_ (Yeah... put the positive side into relief before scaring everyone away! – All I did was give a warning! – ...sorry, my schizophrenic Gollom side is trying to pierce – My precious~! – Stop talking!)**

**Hem! Now enjoy!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick", Lena, and Killian belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima. **

**x_X**

Makarov looked up. Through his window looking onto the street, he was seeing Litanie master's long black cape. He was surprised when he realized that Killian and Gajeel weren't alone. Beside Killian's dark silhouette stood a young woman with hair so blond it seemed white in the light. She was draped into a long immaculate dress that extended eternally into multiple flounces. She looked up and Makarov could see her porcelain skin, her gentle face. Such a beauty was inevitably hiding something.

Fairy Tail master opened the window in a sudden movement.

"I demanded you to come alone, Killian!" He exclaimed.

The young mage bowed her head sadly. The master hugged her before he adopted a determined face and pushed Fairy Tail's doors.

Meanwhile, Gajeel hadn't looked up, as immobile as a statue, his hands tied in the back. He didn't say a word but he had the feeling to live one of his nightmares. The silence fell suddenly over the room and he felt their glare on his shoulders like a thousand burning arrows. He felt something boiling inside him, something that hurt. After all, he didn't care about what those morons could think, he would just leave and cope on his own as he always did before. He had to admit it would be hard to give up Fairy Tail, because it was more than a job, it was something he couldn't put a name on. But it was nothing, not to make himself sick, deep down.

Fate had wanted Levy to be smaller than him, so no matter how hard he tried to focus on his feet, he could escape her white, empty, almost lifeless expression. Obviously when she'd recover he would see hatred on her face. But Gajeel would prefer hatred, to hate live was necessary, right now he just had the impression that Levy was dead, killed by his own hand, just as he killed Jet and Droy.

He went upstairs with Killian who was gripping his arm. When he had questioned Gajeel said he had simply knocked Jet out and killed Droy. He preferred being accused of murder rather than admitting he didn't master his own magic, he preferred one hundred times. It seemed a Dark Guild and an Official Guild could ally against a common enemy: himself.

He sighed loudly just before the door office opened. He was let standing in a corner of the room, like an object. For a moment he thought the side door would close, sealing his fate. But just before it did, a small silhouette slipped into the room.

Levy… couldn't the master leave her alone? Poor little one, Gajeel bitterly thought.

"Killian" Makarov began darkly "I wish I could trust you, but tell me, how could I when two of my children had been killed?"

"Alas I am unable to answer. But in doubt could you still help me? I understand your position, but let's imagine for one second I tell the truth. Though you don't know me, I trust you fully, I know you never refuse to help someone who ask it, especially when it come to bring lost mages back in the light."

"What do you want from me exactly?" Makarov asked.

"I want you to help me to talk to them. I heard across the land your words are far more powerful than your magic. I want them to understand the interest to make Litanie a family, I want them to discover the joy you know at Fairy Tail. No one is happy at Litanie, my mages spend their time ripping each other apart, not caring about the others, or about the morale. I also know they aren't bad, they lost hope, they had been too betrayed not to betray in turn, they had been too stolen not to steal in turn. I want to restore the true values in their hearts and make them happy and proud."

"Did you try to speak to them?" Makarov asked.

"Of course" Killian replied almost begging "But they don't listen. They try to overthrow me. Lena talked to them too, not to avail. We don't get along anymore, do you understand? I'm too shy to truly open my mouth, and they are too versatile to listen."

"I see…" Makarov whispered before he turned toward the window. A short silent moment passed as he paced back and forth, and as Killian waited anxiously.

"I'll go talk to them tomorrow." The master of Fairy Tail eventually concluded. "I'll take some of my best mages with me so they could also speak."

Killian's face suddenly lit up and Gajeel realized he never saw this smile before. He suddenly understood what a young man he really was. With this blissful smile he looked like child.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Makarov added with pointed look. Almost frightened Killian left the room without a look for Gajeel who felt the solitude weight on him like an anvil.

The master sighed loudly, before he turned toward him and Levy who stood in a corner of the room. He was about to open the mouth when a little voice cut him.

"Master…" Levy's broken voice pierced the air tentatively. For an instant Gajeel wondered if the master possessed enhanced senses too. He had to, or else he wouldn't have hear such a murmur.

"I... don't…" She stammered as she hesitantly stepped forward awkwardly "I've seen everything, I know… I know what happ…"

"Don't shorty" Gajeel harshly cut. She stopped and a tear pearled from her eye. He couldn't stand to see her talking with such a grief. He would say what she was about to try, in her name. He vaguely thought he was forced to say the truth. Damn…

"The Litanie girls wanted absolutely to drag me in town, so I followed. For the cover… no choice. We met Shadow Gear. Jet and Droy began some crap, the two girls responded. What could I do? If I let them fight Méloée and her wave would have destroyed half of the city, I told myself that if I hit Jet's head, he would shut his mouth, idem for the other and we could have left in peace. At that moment I found nothing else. But well… Jet had to fall into the canal, he bumped his head against the edge. And then…"

Gajeel's voice turned suddenly hoarse.

"And then." Makarov ordered.

"Then I don't know… I think I snapped. Everyone was here, spiting horrors so that's why." Deep down it wasn't entirely false. In retrospect Gajeel wondered sincerely if he hadn't killed Droy willingly. It was his magic after all. Or maybe he just needed to attack someone, not loyally, with animosity. Maybe he was carving for it deep down: violence, death.

"That's why, that's all you have to say?" Makarov suddenly snapped. In anger his body grew, filling the little office. "That's all you can say to Levy, to those who loved Jet and Droy?"

Gajeel looked down and gritted his teeth. Then he eventually stood tall again, head high and he nodded proudly.

"What do you want me to say? I regret? Oops sorry? What would my words change?"

Makarov seemed to calm down.

"You're right." He nearly growled. "At least we can give that to you: you're not an hypocrite. But somehow… you are monstrous."

Monstrous… it was the last straw. Gajeel gritted his teeth again, he felt this damn burn crawling in his back. Soon enough, it would burst.

"I won't banish you, I will give your mark back. You can't go wandering anywhere you want. You have to take your responsibility Gajeel. But there's no way we pretend as if nothing happened. I won't tell the others you were a double agent, you'll have to get their trust back by your own way. From now on, you'll be watched wherever you'll go. You won't go on mission alone anymore. From now on Levy will stay with you and she'll be charged to let me know about your actions. If you screw things, she'll tell me and I let the Council know you committed a murder. So everyday you'll have before your eyes what you did."

A new wave of pain burned his spine and suddenly he couldn't stay here anymore. He jumped, broke the window, fell from a level, awkwardly hit the ground and began to run. He didn't see the streets, or the people he shoved. The sunset spreading the red light felt like it burned him. Instead of the houses and the people, his mind drew razor peaked mountains and naked rocks dancing into the chocking warmth. And a bloody sky spread above him, threatening to disappear forever. He felt the fear once again.

In the confusion his feet leaded him to his house. He rushed at the door, bolted all the locks with his trembling hands before he collapsed on his bed. And that's when for the first time, his hand became iron.

X_x

_Back to the present._

Gajeel pushed the Guild doors loudly. His still covered metal hand didn't hurt him anymore but he a the uncomfortable feeling it wasn't part of his body anymore when he placed it on the wood.

"I leave!" He shouted, tearing the silence. "Farewell I leave this crazy Guild!"

He turned around and the door closed behind him. His bag on the back, he walked to the train station, his spirit suddenly lighter. He had the feeling that taking a train would allow him to let those two supplementary corpses and his regrets behind, just like he'd left the rest. He didn't need them, he didn't need anyone. If he threatened a doctor, he would find one who'd know how to fix his little problem. Deep down nothing else mattered.

He leaned against a wall, unaware that someone had followed him. He'd take the first train, no matter the destination. Yet he thought about the North, craving for the solitude of the intense cold where he could finally find silence in the snow around him. Deep down, he just suddenly felt tired and empty.

He closed his eyes and a gust of wind blew inside the hall and when he opened them, she was there, tiny before him, as if she had been carried by the wind. She removed her hood covering her and her little chubby face was before him, under her blue hair.

Levy.

For a moment he wanted to throw her on the tracks. But he'd better not attract Makarov's wrath even more. He blinked, hoping he was just dreaming.

"Master gave me a mission." She said with a weak broken voice. "If you leave, I'll be forced to tell him, and you'll go to jail." She had dark rings under her eyes, and her body seemed ready to break, her whole existence was screaming sorrow, her posture, her lips, her scent, and yet she looked at him in the face without blinking.

"So he'll have to find me."

"Fried placed a rune on you. I'll always know where you'll go." She revealed. He was surprised to find in her eyes no trace of animosity. He felt rage boiling inside him, as well as a shadow of fear. He was trapped. Either Levy or prison. And Gajeel didn't want to rot behind closed doors.

"Okay I got it. So what do we do huh?" He asked in defense. Instinctively she stepped back, and he heard her heart jumping. The poor girl was frightened. What was Makarov thinking? He understood he wanted to persecute him, but her…

"I think… I think that you and me we… need holidays."

"Huh?" Gajeel could only utter dumbstruck.

It was only now he realized she was wearing a travel bag across her shoulder and at her feet there was a suitcase, certainly containing tons of books. Again she looked up at him.

"If it's holidays or prison, I choose holidays." He concluded after a moment.

But when they were in the train and he realized she was fighting tears, he wondered if being punished by the law wasn't better. He bowed his head and clenched his teeth, as the pain was starting again to snake inside him. His hand was still iron.

**x_X**

…

**You're not gone? Still there! Good!**

**For now Levy's attitude is not logical, but you'll eventually know more about it.**

**Even in this cruel world I love you all!**

**Please don't forget to review.**


	6. Clear-sightedness

**Chapter 5: Clear-sightedness**

**(by Pacifique)**

**First of all, to all the readers/reviewers/people who faved: you have a message from Pacifique: "Thank you so much!" She loves your comments (as much as I do. Thank you too!) so please keep reviewing! ^w^**

**In this chapter, there is more GaLe interaction (well, from now there'll be practically only GaLe interactions. Happy? Good!). It's a kind of peaceful chapter so you can relax. You'll learn more about Gajeel's illness too, at least how it works.**

**But don't forget the tone will be still dark after this. (P: Don't scare them away! Me: it's just a warning. See their reactions about Jet and Droy? What would it be when Gajeel will... P: STOP! No spoil allowed! *_*) Gihihihi I am a very mean troll! ^w^**

**Let's read it!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**x_X**

"So" Gajeel snapped after a moment, when he couldn't take it anymore. "Will you tell me why you're babysitting me instead of whimpering?"

She jumped on her seat. Actually whimpering wasn't the right term. For some times, the tears were streaming down her cheeks one after the other slowly as she watched the passing landscape. But when she looked at him, she did it in the eye, and through her wet cheeks and her pale face, her eyes told she kept a cool head. She didn't even seem to acknowledge the insult.

"Concerning Jet…" She managed to say "I think it happened like you said… as soon as I saw you with those two girls I knew you were a double agent, and I were on Fairy Tail's side. After all, at the Guild, you are always alone, you never look for the others' company unless you are forced to, to appear credible for example… I knew Jet very well… like you know and I… deep down I agree with you, when he decided to fight, the only way to stop him was to knock him off, I'm perfectly aware of it. Especially since the girl with blue hair, she seemed she was preparing something dangerous."

For a moment Gajeel remained stunned before such an intelligence. He should worry about that. Despite her weak appearance, she was thinking too much, he couldn't hide anything from her. A part of him realized too that unlike the whole Guild, she knew he hadn't betrayed Fairy Tail, well… not at the beginning at least.

"As for Droy…" She tried to add bravely. Gajeel avoided his eyes, there was more sadness than he could ever stand "I know… I saw what happened… you… closed your eyes right?"

"Yeah so what?" He growled without a glance.

"So no one fight with closed eyes." She said all at once. And he looked up at her again, and she plunged her gaze into his. He refused to look away, but it almost took a inhuman effort to face such tears and such determination.

"I know exactly what happens to you." She added "You are sick, you suffer from Magical Degeneration. It's this filth which killed Droy and I swear revenge. I'm going to have my revenge by healing you. Makarov wanted Erza to watch over you, but I wanted to do it."

Gajeel remained silent for a moment. How he would like to melt into his seat, to disappear, to be suddenly annihilated by a supernatural force, to run away or to die, anything but that, it didn't matter. She knew, she knew he was weak.

She suddenly wasn't crying anymore. She stood and sat next to him.

"You have no choice. You're going to do what I say, or else you'll go to jail, and you'll die from illness a few years later."

Gajeel wondered for a moment if it wouldn't be better.

"Give me your hand." She finished.

At first he refused.

"Give it to me." She suddenly ordered with an authority he never suspected from her. She had discovered him, he was kind of naked before her and helpless, trapped by her intelligence, her perfidy and Fried's rune. He had no choice, he'd lost. The pain bit his back and he didn't flinch. He eventually stretched his hand, immobile, covered in metal, completely dead.

"Tell me if I hurt you." She ordered again.

Without waiting an answer she slipped his sleeve up his arm, and observed the metal shining under the neon lights piercing the night.

"You passed the third step." She noted.

Then without another word, she began to caress his arm with her little fingers. With her thumbs she pressed his muscles, rummaged around the flesh. He tried in vain to think about something else, to forget the sensation it produced. Gajeel realized it was the first time he was touch intentionally by a human being. His dragon's skin was always cold, frozen by the impassibility of the metal. He didn't know how human skin could be sweet and warm. But it nearly hurt him, instead of feeling pleasurable.

"You're infected from the fingers to the shoulder." Levy declared suddenly without stopping her movements. "If we don't do anything, in a few days, during the crisis the metal will eventually reach your heart, and it will make you very weak."

He didn't answer, he couldn't talk. He just let her do, and little by little, despite himself he relaxed. After all, Levy didn't have a grudge against him, it was a good new even if he found her story was far-fetched. Never mind what she was thinking if it prevent him to be persecuted. Beside, she had apparently every intention to solve his problem, it was also what he'd planned to do. For now he'd better believe what she said, at least in appearance to remain careful. Any different option would be stupid. Fleeing? To go where? Anyway it was totally impossible. Despite the fact his body was relaxing little by little, he felt the unpleasant impression that he shouldn't be here, or that something terrible would happen. He felt uncomfortable because she knew the truth, somehow, he'd have preferred her to think he'd killed Droy willingly. Somehow it was what he thought himself, he couldn't believe some force that belonged to him could act against his will. Now, he felt weak and he had the impression to lie. If Gajeel could be terrible and cruel, he could at least praise his honesty.

Time ticked in the desert train, he tried to find something to say, but Levy was so focused on her task it obviously would have been useless. Finally her hands moved back toward his palm and she directly attacked the metal covering his skin. He realized with horror it was worse in reality. At first her fingers were creating waves like a pebble thrown on the water surface, then after a moment his hand began to melt, as if it was made of a sort of glistering gray loam. She had to reform the fingers one by one, and finally, the thing changed color and texture to take its original shape back.

"There." She said tonelessly and she went back to her place. In front of him her face against the window, she observed the nothingness outside.

For a while he watched his hand in disbelief. Deep down he'd have never though about a non-magical way to solve this problem. He was persuaded that if Lena hadn't managed anything for him, he'd need an even more powerful magic than hers. And now, a simple massage was enough to kill the problem.

He watched Levy's face reflecting on the window. She wasn't crying anymore, but she still looked deeply sad. If she didn't think he was responsible for Droy's death, she still didn't seem to like him. He had to be careful. After all, she was clever, healing or not, she could easily trap him.

"How did you know what I have?" He asked suddenly. Again she seemed surprised, and straightened suddenly.

"I've read an article about the subject a few months ago. But with what happened, I've collected a lot of books to learn how it work and how we heal it."

"And how do we heal it, beside…" Gajeel tried.

"If I tell you, it's going to be more complicated." Levy answered staring at him straight in the eyes. Of course this answer was a long way from meeting the Dragon Slayer's satisfaction.

"How so?" He asked in a tone that made her take a step back.

"You'll have to trust me." She replied yet "Anyway you have no choice. What I just did should be enough for you, don't you think? I know what I do."

"That's why I'm scared." He mumbled crossing his arms.

"Look Gajeel, you should be happy that I came with you, and not Erza. Anyone else would have sent you straight in jail. And by the way if you want to go I won't hold you back." Levy tried to explain. Strangely the tears were back in her eyes, but she managed not to let them fall.

"Exactly… it sounds suspicious." He answered threateningly.

Strangely she seemed to calm down and nearly managed to smile.

"It is rather normal I suppose, I guess…" She stated enigmatically.

Gajeel remained silent for a while, trying to understand what this sentence might mean. Now, it seemed she wasn't scared of him, and he was reading in her eyes something he'd never seen before, a kind of sad glimmer he couldn't bear to see. He slightly looked away.

"And how does it work?" He asked just to fix his countenance.

"Once again I can't tell you too much, but to sum it up the magic overflows your body limits, by running my hands on your skin, I mark the line it mustn't cross. But it won't be enough. Let's say you've momentarily lost the control of your magic, and it turns against you somehow." Levy explained calmly.

"Why? How did it happen to me?" Gajeel asked again. It was getting interesting.

"This is the part I have to keep for me for the moment." Levy answered.

Gajeel merely groaned and crossed his arms over his chest. Not only he had no idea what Levy was hiding, but he didn't know why she was hiding it. Was it a virus, a genetic thing, or whatever else? Who cares? He spent the rest of the journey losing himself in conjectures, searching Levy's face which looked sad again. He noticed with a sort of strange fascination she looked better since they were gone. Maybe due to the change of scenery…

"What now?" Gajeel asked as they reached the platform. It was cold and he savored the icy wind on his face, she wrapped herself in a huge coat she had taken from he didn't know where. The snow was falling thickly, looking blue in the night, and it covered the ground with a thick layer.

"Let's go to bed, you have to rest, and so do I."

He followed her silently on a slippery path that leaded to a tiny village built on the side of the mountain, composed by stone houses strangely round shaped and sunk into the cliff where steam was escaping from holes in the walls. In reality, the hamlet was in itself a real spa resort. They walked into the little reception cabin, and found a room. Gajeel wondered what they were doing in this tiny place until he understood that inside the stone was spreading a whole network of corridors, rooms and ponds, all interconnected. To one side or the other of the tunnel was flowing a peaceful stream. Sometimes sections pf walls were presenting some large aquariums where small strange fishes were swimming peacefully. Small lamps were diffusing a sweet warm light giving the impression to be under the sun, so despite the stone they quickly forgot they were below ground.

"Why here?" Gajeel asked.

"There is water, it will do some good, and there are no window so you can't escape." Levy stated.

He sighed.

The reception had given them a suite usually reserved for families. There was a sort of small round common living room which was communicating with a bathroom that smelled good the essences and two bedrooms, one with a big wooden bed, and the other with two bunk beds. Levy took the second one and Gajeel the first, no word were needed. Before they went to bed, Levy took from her bag a strange symbols-engraved object. She passed it in front of the door and symbols spread on the floor. Gajeel recognized them as Fried's magic.

"If you leave, they'll know." Levy simply stated before she added "Good night."

He locked himself in his bedroom, unsure of what to do, while she took a shower and disappeared into hers.

**x_X**

**It was calmer than the other chapters, don't you think?**

**Don't worry, things will turn into a new mess soon enough!**

**Please review to please Pacifique! XD**


	7. The Pendulum

**Chapter 6: The Pendulum**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Good morning/evening darlings! How are you my dear? (the readers: "...she's talking nicely... IT'S A TRAP!" o_O)**

**Before we begin, for the worried ones, you have a new message from Pacifique: "Hello there! So here are my english followers. First of all thank you for your support. This story isn't over in french yet so, the more you review the more I write. I would also like to thank the ones who criticized me. To answer one of the question asked about the story. My first idea is of course to make an happy end, and it's probably what will happen. But sometimes I have some surprises so I can't promise you anything. Thank you all again."**

**Now, today on the menu: A dose of GaLe interaction, a touch of revelation and a certain amount of cruelty. Eat it all and try to digest the bill.**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique and Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima (Don't let Gajeel die! ...Yes I'm talking to you Mashima!)**

**x_X**

A complete silence was reigning when Gajeel awoke. A feeling of exasperation consumed him as he remembered where he was and why. There was no window, no source of outside light so time seemed eternally long as he wait, glaring at Levy's bedroom door and hoping it would finally open. He didn't know what to do, since he couldn't leave their suite against her will. He felt like a child we had to look after and he hated it.

However he had to admit that his hand was like new, since the day before. But he couldn't stay here with nothing to do. So when he couldn't take it anymore he knocked, expecting Levy to slam the door open and screaming at him.

Instead of this the door opened very slowly, creaking the silence, and her drowsy pale face appeared under her blue hair.

"Gajeel?" She mumbled "Something's wrong?"

For a moment he froze dumbstruck.

"Er… no it's just that… I'm awake for at least an hour."

Levy sighed loudly.

"Gajeel" She said glancing at her watch "It's four in the morning. Go back to bed."

"Yeah maybe, so what?" He answered unfazed. Indeed it was nearly the time he usually awoke every morning.

"So I'm sleepy." Levy replied. "Go back to bed."

"Slacker." He answered turning back. "I'm sure that a lot of people are already awake."

"Sleeping so little… it's not normal." Levy replied.

"Come on marmot, your case isn't a generality, give yourself a shake." He said again.

Levy slammed the door with brutality.

"Give me one minute and I'll prove you you're wrong." She said through the wood. Gajeel thought he shouldn't have mock her, after all, his fate was between her hands. Her tone told him nothing good.

She came back wearing her usual little dress, a ribbon in her hair but looking still as sleepy as before.

"Come" She said as she took his arm. He wasn't sure about crossing the rune but she was nearly dragging him anyway.

He still had the intention to show her that a good worker was up at four o'clock, but apparently she had to be right. The place was simply empty, some corridors' lamps weren't on, proving there was absolutely nothing to do, other than sleeping. Gajeel sighed expecting a sharp reproach from her, but it never came.

"Well… let's just walk a bit… it'll keep me awake." She said instead. He stared at her for a while, surprised. Not only she wasn't mocking him, but plus she accepted to stay up. It was hiding something weird, he was sure of it.

They remained silent for a while after leaving outside into the night, the snow and the cold. Their footprints were spreading more and more and the first lights were piercing the horizon when Levy talked:

"Did you always have such sleep troubles?"

"I have no sleep troubles, I sleep less than the others that's all." He answered en shooting into a pile of snow.

"Why do you think so?" Levy asked.

"I don't know… it was the time when Metalicana was waking me."

There was a new silence.

"Why would he do such a thing?" Levy asked again, seeming thoughtful. He watched her for a moment in the semi-darkness. Why did she have to ask all those questions?

"Because he wanted me to become stronger." Gajeel answered with conviction.

"You have to sleep more if you want to heal." Levy whispered and before her a small white cloud formed.

"Are you telling me it's just because of that crap that I'm sick?" Gajeel got angry as he stood in front of her. "That's what you hid from me?"

"Of course not." She answered still as calm. He calm down in turn, because she seemed sad suddenly, and fragile. He had the feeling that if blew on her now he could make her fly. This secret she kept for herself seemed to be a real burden, strangely.

"So what?" He asked hoarsely.

"You'll know soon enough." She concluded before she kept walking. They remained silent once again, and reached a height where they could watch the the sunrise. Or actually Levy sat in the snow, peacefully, her eyes toward the sky clearing little by little, while Gajeel, grumbling all the time he did see the interest of this show. On the other hand, after a moment he eventually quieted too, and started thinking, his eyes staring carelessly at the aurora. The more he kept thinking, the less he understood. What did Levy expect from him? Was she preparing a revenge or would she truly heal him completely? And if the answer was yes, why would she? Her story didn't make any sense. It didn't matter if this magic broke his bodily limits, it was still his magic, and he was the one who had thrown Jet into the river. Across the red sky, he played the scene once again.

"Should we go?" He said nervously as the sun rose "I'm hungry."

She stood without a word and in silence, they took the reverse path following the footprints from the outward journey. Into the morning fog, it was impossible to refer to anything else. Gajeel thought he wanted to be alone, her presence was bothering him and he couldn't say why. Sometimes, he told himself Erza would have been better somehow. At least she wouldn't ask so many questions.

After the breakfast, Levy decided they would take their first thermal bath. If she seemed to love it, Gajeel on the other hand hated it. Of course the water sensation and bubbles were pleasant, but it also meant doing nothing for several hours, watching her relax. However she was upset when they left.

"You can't stay still for five minutes." She grumbled.

If the Dragon Slayer had known what would happen next, he'd stay in the bath without protesting obviously. Levy had ordered they would go back into their suite, for his greatest despair. Not asking his permission, she walked into his bedroom.

"Lay down." She ordered.

"What for?" Gajeel asked defensively.

"I'm going to try to heal you more seriously" She answered before she added "Anyway you have no choice."

He growled and yet he obliged.

"Don't move, close your eyes and relax. I'll be back."

With it, she left him here and he felt slightly ridiculous. Relaxing, he had only a very vague idea about the sense of those words meant. He didn't even try. The Solid Script mage came back with an incredible thick book and a small round object linked to a sort of metallic thread. The first thought Gajeel had about it was it look appealing. He didn't know he would soon hated this little thing.

Levy sat on the edge of the bed, and he heard her heart beating stronger than the usual.

"Listen to me." She began in a sweet voice "I'm going to swing the pendulum in front of you and you're going to follow it with your gaze, okay?"

Gajeel had to swallow his laughter.

"Do as I said or it won't end well for you." Levy threatened still as calmly. There was a change in her voice and it didn't inspire confidence. Feeling this time perfectly ridiculous, he followed as best as he could the object movements. He noticed the ancient ornament, the curves and the sculpted drawings. At first his eyes had trouble to follow the balance but little by little, now he managed more easily.

"Good…" Levy appreciated with that strange voice. "Now listen to me, focus on my voice and every word I say. Forget everything else, don't even think."

She imperceptibly sighed in relief when she realized the hypnosis was working. She'd expected it to be much more difficult. By the way it could have not worked at all. She tried to relax in turn, feeling the anxiety weight in her belly. She knew she was doing something dangerous.

"Are you with me?" She asked

Without looking at her Gajeel, his eyes wide open and focusing on the pendulum, nodded. In doubt she passed her other hand before his eyes, and got no reaction. For a moment it scared her and she hoped the Dragon Slayer was only playing with her, but apparently it wasn't the case. Now that she was seeing him so peaceful, relaxed, she realized he was so tense the rest of the time. It wasn't something someone could simulate. She forced herself to breath, if the anxiety was heard in her voice the consequences would only do damages.

"You're safe with moi." She said again like the book was saying "You have nothing to fear."

Once again Gajeel nodded staring at the pendulum.

"You know I want to heal you, right?" Levy said again, not very sure about the procedure now.

"I'm sick." Gajeel answered tonelessly. The young Script mage tried to sound unfazed and went on:

"Do you know why you're sick?"

"I want to puke." Gajeel answered. Levy esteemed she shouldn't forget this sentence, it was obvious he hadn't talked literally since he hadn't eaten this morning. But not knowing what to do with it, she added, carefully.

"You are the son of Metalicana aren't you?" Indeed, she'd noticed Gajeel usually wasn't talking much about his parent dragon, and while Natsu was moving heaven and earth to find his, he never lifted a finger.

"No." Gajeel answered and in his voice Levy felt an emotion she didn't know he had.

"Remember when you were a kid." She said again. She thought the beaming smile the book was talking about would appear but after her words Gajeel's whole body tensed so abruptly she nearly gasped. By chance the pendulum was still swimming before Gajeel's eyes. It was suddenly hard for him to breath, his pants were shorter and hoarser, and then he recited, without any pause, at one go:

"You will be strong if you do what I tell, don't eat, don't sleep, and more importantly stay always, _always_ alone got it? Come on stand up, run, faster, that's right, run faster, faster, and jump into a void!"

His body collapsed on the bed becoming completely inert and he added in a childish and heartbreaking voice.

"But… I have no wings like you." And the other voice replied:

"Learn to suffer. Then I'll teach you how to fly."

Levy realized she had wait too long. If this scene was real, he mustn't relived it. He was about to talk again but she cut him.

"Come back to me Gajeel. You are safe, you can't suffer here."

But he didn't nod. It was too late, he was trapped too deeply.

"Gajeel!" Levy called him again but h already traveled into his memory, his eyes rolled upward like the images of the book.

Suddenly he started screaming and trashing on the mattress against an invisible force. Levy did her best to keep the object before his eyes, but before she could get what happened she was sent flying against the wall. She knew Gajeel was strong, but she didn't know he was that much. He straightened and screamed again as she tried to understand how she had landed there, on the floor. His hands and his feet flew in the air in an unorganized way, while his fingers slowly covered in metal shining into the milky light. He gasped, unable to scream anymore, he trashed again, and Levy could only watch in horror. It looked like an agony, a kind of drowning. When the calm came back, she sincerely thought he was dead. His hands and his forearms trapped into the metal, he wasn't moving anymore despite his eyes wide open.

"Gajeel…" She whispered in desperation "Are you still with me?"

Surprisingly he nodded. After all, no matter what memory it was, he had survived.

"Good…" She went on shaking, from the wall where she was curled into a ball. She had been so shocked and surprised she had cried without realizing. "I'm going to count to three… and at three… At three you'll wake up, and you won't remember what you just lived. You'll feel safe again. One… two… three…"

Gajeel opened his eyes and she sighed in relief. And then she burst into tears and he straightened to watch her, completely astounded.

**X_x**

**Phew! Any reaction about Gajeel's past? Don't be afraid we don't bite. ...well not often. Please review *0***


	8. Erza

**Chapter 7: Erza**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Yo! For this one let's only say something unexpected is going to happen. Leading to more future action. Thanks for the ones who reviewed, faved or followed. This chapter is for you.**

I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima 

**x_X**

When he opened his eyes, she was curled on herself before him, against the wall, in tears, a look of pure terror on her face. His first reflex was naturally to wonder what he could have done this time. One second later he rejected the thought, thinking it was perfectly unfair. No, everything was not always his damn fault. Well not necessarily. Give him a fucking break.

He didn't have the time to extend his reflexions any further because the pain struck him and he fell back on the mattress, he had to bite his lips not to shout, but strangely she did it for him, letting a kind of whimper escape as if she was the one crushing, burning and disfigured. His body arched against his will, his muscles tensed and he fought to remain silent. Before him were flashing images he had forbidden himself to remember for a very long time: flames, an ocean of flames, more flames than the world could ever contain, ravaging the earth, touching heavens, he had been, as a child, plunged into a world of fire where he couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything and couldn't do anything, just striking blindly again and again. Soon his mind was assaulted by roars, snores, the smell of his burning flesh mixed with his melted metal. He forgot where he was, his name and why he was living.

Then he felt her hands over him, her little fingers running over him. He wanted to scream at her not to touch him, he was afraid she would burn in turn, his body would devour her like he was being devoured himself.

"Gajeel, Gajeel" She sobbed "I'm sorry…"

But her hands were fresh no matter where they landed and the pain was fading.

"Calm down, calm down breath, breath as deeply as you can" She sobbed again. He'd do anything to make this unbearable sorrow stop so he tried as best as he could to do what she told.

"That's good… that's good…" She smiled through her tears. He could see her now. The flames were gone.

Little by little the pain eventually disappeared. He felt her hands somewhere over his left leg, but he almost couldn't move, his legs were paralyzed, his arms were heavy above his head. He could hear her loud breath and felt the panic emanating from her.

"It's okay, it's over… I think." He said surprised by his weak voice.

"I'm sorry." Levy's heartbroken one repeated.

Her hands never left his leg, little by little he felt the sensations coming back in his toes, then his foot.

"Can I know what happened? Why am I in this pitiful state?" With the pain leaving Gajeel was think again. A part of him was sure it was what Levy had planned for him, that it was her true revenge, but her trembling hands, her tear were telling a different tale.

"I should have tell you, from the beginning…" She cried again. He suddenly found her cries intolerable, as well as her hands over his dead and heavy body.

"Are you going to explain what happened?" He enraged. He found somehow the strength to straightened but his tense arms couldn't reach her. He had the feeling to be a contorted puppet.

"Oh no, no" She panicked "Lay down, please, calm down please calm down." However she didn't look calm at all so he fell back on the bed.

"Explain." He said again icily.

"Gajeel, your problem… it's… the magical degeneration… it's a mental illness."

This time her hands stopped their journey. She took a moment to rise her tearful eyes toward him. Suddenly he felt his anger vanish as he crossed her eyes, they were filled with compassion, and kindness. He had never seen such eyes before. He averted his and locked them to the ceiling, he couldn't stand them, he let the new sink into him slowly. Mental illness…

"You mean I'm a madman… right?" He asked tonelessly.

"I won't say that." Levy answered, looking a bit better. His leg was back, so she took care of the other. "It's more like… I think… forgive me for saying it this way but I think you've been through difficult things, you had accumulated a lot of pain and you never took the time to think about it, because no one obviously let you."

"So what?" He answered, "There's no use in digging up the past."

"Past is always dug up" She replied somberly "No matter if you don't want. You couldn't do it, so your body do it instead. Your magic was permeated with it so it hurt you."

Gajeel started to think but her hands at the top of his thigh was distracting him.

"Bullshits, I'm not sick since that long…" He said after a moment. He thought he had betrayed himself in a way, he was admitting now that this event, this part of his life had really happened.

"No of course." Levy agreed "Otherwise you'd be already dead or become more or less a statue. There's something happening, right here and now, that start resonating with what you lived long ago. Or… this is just the straw that broke the camel."

Levy moved from his leg to his right hand without wasting a second.

"I'm peachy." He replied. But as he spoke those words they sounded wrong. Levy didn't try to argue, she faded into the silence, continuing her massages.

"What were you apologizing for?" He asked as she took care of his remaining arm.

"I wanted to hypnotize you, because I knew you wouldn't talk spontaneously, you wouldn't even want to think about it."

"You were right." He commented caustically and yet she added.

"But… something went wrong, I couldn't manage to make you stay with me, your spirit plunged deeper than expected as if it crumbled and so, you relived old memories… you talked about Metalicana and then… you said terrifying things and I thought…"

But she couldn't finish, Gajeel jumped on her and his valid hand, the one she'd patiently massaged took her throat. She could only sputter indistinct gurgles.

"Don't ever do that again." He growled very slowly, a few centimeters away from her face. Then he sent her against the wall she hit strongly. She coiled up again to cry, into a fetal position. He thought bitterly he just did something wrong. He thought he'd heard a crack telling nothing good. She was holding her belly, her face was red, flooded with tears and she was watching him, terrified by him this time. Gajeel took an instant to think. He had nothing to fear from her obviously. She might be intelligent, but she was weak, he could kill her in a single motion. Wanting to trap him and have revenge alone was suicide and she knew it. Unless she wanted to throw her life away, she probably wasn't lying. Well, that's what he thought when he saw her on the floor.

"I… I don't know my own strength." He tried.

But suddenly the weak and tiny little Levy stood and faced him. Gajeel had seen many things, formidable enemies had laughed at him in the face. But it's been so long he got so scared. He took his previous thought back, no, she was dangerous, she could get revenge alone if she wanted.

"Are you kidding me!" She screamed through her tears "You tried to strangle me! You think I won't show any resistance without saying anything just because I'm weaker than you? I don't care what you can do to me, I don't care if you kill me, but I won't lose my dignity for trying to…"

He stepped back. Maybe she wanted to throw her life away actually. Levy's words were suddenly cut by a trashing noise. The half of the wall of the bedroom had crumbled and Erza was standing before them, in a thick black defensive armor, a huge sword in her right hand.

"Gajeel." She shouted. "Who are you to attack Levy? You've betrayed the ones who wanted to help you. It's time for us to hand you over the council."

The Dragon Slayer's mind snapped. It wasn't that he didn't want to go in jail, he felt suddenly miserable enough to wish it. But no one would send him against his will. He took advantage of Levy's confusion to grab her and his right arm changed into a sharp blade. The little Solid Script mage hold her chin up to escape the cut and Erza stopped.

"Let her go." She ordered "You heartless traitor. You left Fairy Tail to serve a Dark Guild, you killed two comrades, surrender now."

"In your dreams." Gajeel stated with a smirk. "You care about her. It's your fucking weak spot, Fairy Tail, your fucking bonds, that's why you're weak. As long as I have her with me, you can't do anything, you know very well I won't say it twice. Now back off, you are ridiculous."

Erza hesitated, enraged, procrastinated and with shaking hands, she threw her sword on the floor and took several steps back.

In the hostel everyone screamed on their way, the masseurs, the physiotherapist and the clients let them pass. Gajeel grabbed her bag and Levy did the same with a few books under her kidnapper's orders. They were outside in the snow, finally alone. Gajeel threatened her discreetly on the train station platform and they boarded the first train. She sat shaking, in tears, her face white, but no one seemed to realize.

"Remove that rune." He said when they were inside. She jumped, trembled, and started working. The signs inscribed in his right arm faded one by one. Now he remembered the moment when Fried had shaken his hand to put the rune on him. Deep down, the more troubling was that he felt better, it seemed that his life was back to normal, like it should have always been.

And she was desperate, telling herself she was destroying herself her last hope to be saved… 'Her last…' She thought. Not his last. There was again something she could do. What she had planned to do since the beginning of this story, even before that Jet and Droy were killed.

**X_x**

**...So?**

**What do you think Levy is going to do? ...well, "could do" at least.**

**See you for the next one! Please review *0***


	9. Friendly white faces

**Chapter 7: Friendly white faces**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Like she said herself the day she posted it: Pacifique completely lost the control of her own fanfiction! Indeed, who'd have thought it would turn this way? In a way it's fascinating to see how a story can 'surpass' its writer ^^. I don't know what you think, but I'll follow the path of this story just to see where it'll lead in the end, because I have NO f*ching idea about the final, even now! (15 french chapters posted today) And not knowing what's next in a story is the most amazing feeling I ever felt while reading, because I'm sure I'll be surprised.**

**...I'm quite talkative today? Maybe it because nobody's talking to me IRL. Well whatever. Enough blabla. Read, review and tell me what you think again and again! Puh-lease! I love you all! *0***

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

"What now?" Levy suddenly asked weakly.

"We're going to disappear somewhere. You'll shut up, do what I say, and search in your books the solution to end my problem." Levy shuddered. She didn't want to 'disappear'. After several hours of travel in the train now desert, fear was gone. No matter what happened. It was still Gajeel beside her. He was the one she still knew. He won't hurt her, unless she'd go too far. Certainly he had no choice. She was cursing Erza and her intervention. The rune Fried had placed on the little Solid Script mage must have to send the signal telling she was in danger, but Erza should have used her brain, instead of charging without thinking. They could be such hot heads sometimes (if not always), all of them. She just had to do as he said and everything will be fine. He seemed so calm suddenly, by the way, she didn't remember the last time she saw him so relaxed, with such confidence. Immediately she thought about something that could help her.

"This is not the first time you do that huh?" She asked weakly.

"No. Which means you have no chance to escape." He answered with a smirk.

She was only half-surprised. By the way something was telling her that Gajeel knew perfectly where they were going. She also wondered what else he knew to do. The more she thought about it, the more the pieces of the puzzle were put together in her mind. She spent the rest of the journey wondering where and when he'd learned to accomplish this kind of things. Many days passed, and they were traveling farther and farther, sleeping, eating and living completely in the train. The carriages seemed empty. Nobody, absolutely nobody seemed to go in this direction.

They were even further to the North when they reached their final destination. There reigned an icy cold, freezing and piercing bones. The little train station gave the impression to be the only thing in this huge white desert. It was nearly disappearing under the snow. Gajeel approached her and Levy flinched. They were alone in the dark. The lights were blinking. His big hand pulled her close to him, and her breath was cut short. He didn't watch her, but his arm felt like iron despite the flesh color of his hand. Never tearing his gaze from the horizon, urging her to walk, he unbuttoned his coat and put the half of it on her shoulder.

The train station was empty and frozen. He did this for his survival. The building was in ruin and the howling wind was rushing into it by the roof and the missing door. Levy was shaking against him and she put her frozen fingers into the sleeve of the coat. If it wasn't for him forcing her to remain stuck against him, she would probably be completely frozen. With his free hand he caught a phone hanging from the wall and dialed a number at top speed.

"Hi… Yeah… Got a problem. Yeah, me neither, I never thought I would come back after all this time… I've got an hostage with me does it matter? Of course. Okay. We're waiting. No, you can't. It's my propriety. 'll explain, it's complicated. See ya."

He had spoken in a calm, composed, relaxed voice she didn't know he had. Suddenly she had the impression not to be with the same person anymore. Usually Gajeel never used this tone to talk.

"Where are with going?" Levy asked breaking the silence. But despite everything her voice was gone with a gust of wind and she shuddered.

"At people's who were working for me long time ago." Levy stared at him puzzled. People who had worked for Gajeel. Somehow she felt pity for them. But it wasn't surprising. And she wondered what kind of activities he had dealt with. She found it weird that help was offered to him like that, after a simple call, after so long.

But soon she couldn't think anymore, only feeling her body pierced by the cold. Her ears alert, she was listening the arrival of the gusts of wind but when the wind was howling, the pain was always greater than she felt able to take. She didn't know when exactly it became unbearable, but for a moment she had the feeling she was going to die here, in her sleep, buried under the snow swinging inside the ruined train station's hall. Gajeel was pulling her close her against him, his back to the wind rushing from the roof, but she never realized it, there was little difference. Her skin was anesthetized, she couldn't feel anything.

"They'll be here soon, it's almost over." He whispered.

But "soon" was a word which meant nothing right now. When you were so cold, when you suffered this way, every second turned into eternity. After a moment her legs buckled and the contact of the ground through Gajeel's coat finished to frightened her. She struggled but the wind took the opportunity to rush into the fabric and she let out a scream, feeling like her skin had just ripped open. He caught her, rubbing her back with his big hands, but he could do nothing else. Just waiting.

Meanwhile he had avoided her gaze. And he felt relieved when he finally heard the noise of crawler.

"They're coming." He grunted in the wind but she didn't seem to hear. Her eyes were dangerously empty, glassy. An instant he wondered what he'd do if she died here. And fear clawed at him by surprise. After all, he had very little chance to find someone able to take care of his illness here.

They were like he remembered, exactly. The same black coats, the same white faces, the same bats and coshes. The same guns hanging by the belt, the same knifes around the ankles. And the same nails dug into their faces, and their forearms. He used to love this sight before, but today something told him everything had changed despite all. He remembered how he managed to become their chief. He was barely eleven, but unlike the inhabitants of this city, he was a mage, he was the son of a dragon. He was more scaring than anyone else. The others had suffered and bled when they've got their faces pierced. Not him. He just had to move some of his magic inside his body. By the way he didn't know why but he had never been able to remove them after that. Maybe because of this fucking illness. A mental illness…

He chased those thoughts, and pulled Levy against him. He could hear her heart beating so strongly it was nearly deafening. If they had waited a few more minutes she'd be dead. He hadn't thought about it simply. He had forgotten how the cold could affect normal people. He recreated his usual focused face.

"Whoa you've changed!" Robert exclaimed. He was the new chief now. Tall, a bear, a building. Gajeel was a head shorter than him, but he noticed he still inspired them the same respect.

"Hi." Johan declared. Johan, the Black Hand. Master in torture. Still as dumb as ever. The last time he saw him, he was only a child too.

"Hi." Gajeel answered on the same tone. "Let's move or my hostage will die."

"Still as nice as ever." The new boss commented. Finally they rush into the vehicle. The boss was driving, Johan was shutting his mouth on the passenger seat, and Gajeel sat in the back with Levy. The piece of machinery was made of metal and was moving slowly, on huge rusty crawlers. It was barely warmer than outside, but at least the wind wasn't blowing anymore. He lost his cool when he saw that the little mage's eyes were closed.

"Heat on! She's going to die, you hear!" He grumbled. Someone cursed under his breath but nobody heard because the fans started hurling burning air. Gajeel removed the coat in an expert gesture, and placed her on his laps, before he rubbed her as best as he could considering the little space he had.

"You seem to care." Johan declared after a moment.

"What?" Gajeel asked, he didn't want to talk with him. Talking with Johan, it was like talking to a wall.

"Your hostage."

"That's right…" Robert agreed as he attacked a snowy mound with patience. "You don't have a crush, do you? You know it's bad for business."

"She has a knowledge I need. That's my business not yours."

"What does bring you in this terrible place?" Johan asked even thought he seemed completely uninterested like everything by the way.

"The girl is from a very powerful Official Guild in Magnolia. Let's say that I acted like one of them to kidnap her and they didn't take it very well. They're rather strong, I can't beat them and I don't want to have the Magical Council in my way. I needed a place where no one could bother us to obtain what I want from her." Gajeel lied.

"Magnolia…" Robert whispered dreamily. "South… trees… grass… sea…"

There was a silence before he added.

"It must be incredibly important, if you bothered to come back here. What's the deal?"

"Told ya it's my business." Gajeel answered in a tone that ended the conversation. It was useless to tell those people the truth. They barely knew what magic was, they couldn't understand. And here, his survival was based on the fact that everyone thought he was invincible. It was also useless to tell them he'd wanted to change, do the good, believe in solidarity between the human beings. Here, that kind of things wasn't conceivable. Anyway, it made no difference. It was in the past. He had kidnapped Levy to avoid the prison. He couldn't turn back anymore, Fairy Tail and the Council would always chase him no matter what he'd do. He had no other choice, he had to turn back to his former self. And strangely, he thought it wasn't so terrible. And yet, he felt bitter all of a sudden, while Levy was stirring weakly on the other seat where he had placed her. It was certainly because of this snow, the idea that the sun was rising only once every six months.

The headquarters wasn't in the same place anymore. In order to maintain a semblance of warmth in Mara town, there was a great fire burning in the basements. From this immense inferno, where wastes were consumed, several huge pipes were snaking under the whole city. Below there was an old disused sorting center they used as a house now. At least it was warm, but the wastes were attracting rats and all kind of hideous beasties. And the air was heavy, wet and foul. Especially for him and his enhanced senses.

"The fucking cops destroyed our former place…" Robert commented "But nobody remembers this place so…"

Gajeel was surprised. They were far more numerous than before. The little basis minions were pushing each other in the corridors, as did the retailers and the lookouts. Half of the town had to be here. There mustn't left a lot of people to steal or plunder. They all gave them respectful signs of the head.

"Joël, Adam, Judy… they left as soon as they had enough." Robert added. "Johan and me are the last ones you know."

"Why don't you leave too?" Gajeel asked.

"Oh… Sometimes I would like to but… I keep telling myself this is the only place where I can get so much money. I'll wait until I get very very rich. I don't want a peaceful life in the South. I want a whole city when I'll go there." Robert's eyes shone and Gajeel thought he hadn't changed. As for Johan it was useless to wait an answer from him. He didn't care if he was here or not, he cared about nothing.

"By the way, since Judy left, we have not a single girl. There aren't many in the town anymore, that's a problem. Be careful with your toy. If only you wanted to lend her to me, we could get a large amount of money. There are no whore I town, it's over. Well… despite ours of course… but they're not… of the first freshness anymore…"

"Am… not… toy…" Levy whispered in a very faint voice denying her all credibility. Gajeel still had to help her to walk.

"I'm going to install you in the old dispensary. At least you can lock it and there is running water."

Gajeel followed him without a word. And he felt relieved when they left them finally alone after they found them two mattresses and blankets. The dispensary was the place where they put and washed the valuable objects people had thrown by mistake. There was a big a deep washbasin that could be used as a bathtub, hidden by a wooden plank. The mattresses were on the lowest shelves. On the others Robert had ordered to put some warm clothes and heaps of blankets.

Levy was now laid on her bed, buried under a mountain of fabrics. Gajeel sat on his, his head between his hands.

"You feel better?" He dared ask after a moment.

"I thought… I was going to die." She stammered.

And the crisis struck him, his back arched, his head jerked back, his arms and hands turned iron, his legs buckled and the pain pierced his heart when the magic took it. But no matter the pain, he hadn't said the words he'd thought so hard. And her little hands were already calming the inferno. Maybe deep inside he preferred the crisis than waiting.

**X_x**

**Okay... now tell me you know how they'll go through this, I dare you! (And I'll ask you the same question at every future chapter).**

**Please review! I still love you! *0***


	10. The rats pit

**Chapter 9: The rats pit**

**(by Pacifique)**

**So... what's this chapter?**

**Well, it is one of my favorites for several good reasons: First of all there is a GaLe moment I love. I can't consider it as a "cute" moment, but for me it's stronger, it's a SPECIAL moment I can't put words on it. Then this chapter marks the beginning of the real fight of this story: this isn't a physical fight, but a psychological one. Between Gajeel and Levy. Between two visions, two determinations, between heart and reason, love and survival. You may disagree with me, you may be disappointed, but I still love this chapter. And I hope you'll enjoy it too, no matter how.**

**And finally... Well I can't tell you now. See ya at the end of the chapter ^^**

**I only own the translation. "Sick", Johan and Robert belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

Gajeel eventually sat, his members painful. Levy sat in front of him, wrapping her arms around her knees under a thick blanket. She was staring at him calmly. She knew he was too clever to hurt her with no reason. She just had to do what he wanted and everything would be fine. After all, it would be easier for her to heal him if he had the illusion to be in control. She never had any pride in her, she didn't care. What she feared was this terrifying world where he had brought her. It would have been enough if they were simply alone so everything would be alright. No matter how relaxed he seemed, she knew this place wasn't good for them. The simple idea to meet Black hand Johan terrorized her.

But that wasn't the worst thing. Slowly she understood in what world he'd grown into, where that part of his identity came from. She understood so much more now, why his magic was so determined to cover Gajeel with a carapace of metal. She would have liked to have one. She had to struggle outside, but he had to fight his former self. She just had to listen to them for a few minutes to realize that all notion of morale, good and bad was alien for them. With them Gajeel had to do things he wasn't proud of. A bit like when he'd pinned her to this tree after hurting her. In a world like this one he simply had no choice. It needed years to realize there was another possible path. Now that the Dragon Slayer had found it, she swore to herself she won't let him fall into the darkness again.

She started to notice he was watching her too when suddenly someone knocked. She jumped and hid away at the bottom of her bed, wondering which one of those horrible persons would enter.

"What?" Gajeel growled.

"When will I torture her?" Johan's icy voice asked. Levy felt her blood run cold.

"We don't." The Dragon Slayer replied. His height and his hair were covering Johan's face and Levy was glad. She didn't want to read the expression on his face.

"But… why not?" The other asked again.

"Because she's cooperating moron." Gajeel replied. Apparently from the beginning cooperate had been the good option. The only one actually.

"But still… a little welcome never hurt anyone, you know it." The Black Hand insisted unfazed.

Gajeel took a step forward.

"You really get nothing. She's not a future whore. That girl is ultra intelligent, she knows her chances of survival if she refuses to do what I want. And I need her to focus on what she has to do."

For a moment Levy thought he was going to turn around. There was a silence while the two men stared at each other. But suddenly Johan added.

"Er… she doesn't seem to do anything right now, right?"

At that moment Gajeel turned around and plunged toward her like a bird of prey. She had no memory of the pain he'd inflicted to her when he'd pinned her to the tree. But those memories came back suddenly. His iron hand pressed her throat and lifted her body.

"Search in your books." He stated very slowly and lowly. She nodded, already feeling the loss of the air. He let her go and she fell in her bed like a lifeless doll. Without taking the time to stand she crawled toward her bag and took the first book her trembling fingers found. She sat in a corner, disappearing behind her volume. But she couldn't read or even think. Inside her brain everything was screaming. She was suddenly realizing, she had been kidnapped, she was in the middle of nowhere, and Gajeel had her life between his hands. Everything she didn't want to think about exploded inside her, what if he could actually hurt her? What if he could kill her in fact? He'd killed Jet and Droy without even wanting it. He was beyond mighty, and she was so small and weak.

"You're not funny." Johan stated tonelessly.

"Have I ever been funny?" Gajeel replied as coldly as ever.

"You were funny… before." He scoffed as he took his leave.

"Shut up" Gajeel grunted before he shut the door.

He turned around once again. He thought Levy was gone, but the book she took in her bag was in the same color as the gray wall and he mistook them. In the silence he didn't hear anything, not even her breath, just her pounding heart trying to escape her ribs.

"You okay?" He asked after a moment.

She didn't answer but he heard the pulses increasing again. He was an idiot, why hadn't he thought about that? He couldn't turn back to only half his former self, he had to turn back completely now, so he would act as his former self with her too, and she would fear him, like everyone feared him before. He didn't know why but this fact filled him with a deep sorrow. It was over. Hurting Levy like he just did was like turning his back on Fairy Tail forever, cutting his bonds, crushing the friendship. He was alone now.

He lowered the book before her eyes and stared at her.

"Answer me. I need to know if you're operational."

And she burst into tears, let go of the book, hid her face in her hands. He felt his stomach drop, as if a crisis was threatening him.

"I didn't squeeze that hard." He argued.

She looked up and plunged her tearful eyes into his.

"What?" She stammered. Hope exploded in him, and he was surprised by such a violent emotion. He had a chance to speak to her, to explain.

"Look" He tried harsher than he wanted to sound "I was forced to do so, otherwise we would eventually appear suspicious."

She closed her eyes and nodded, a strange half smile on her lips. The same force which exploded in him submersed her too. Gajeel hadn't turned bad, she had been so scared, but he hadn't the choice. No matter what the circumstances forced him to do she had to keep seeing in him the thing the others couldn't see. At Fairy Tail or right here, she was the only one who could understand him. Being scared of him meant abandoning him.

"Suspicious about what?" She asked in a trembling voice again.

There was a long silence, and he sat beside her, as if he wanted to check if her fear was gone. He'd never spoken those words out loud, or even in his own mind.

"I… I'm not the one I was before anymore…"

She nodded and despite her smile, a tear escaped and rolled on her cheek.

"I know…" She whispered. "I… I think we had to go. I won't be able to heal you here if you are… forced to do those things."

"What's the connection?" He asked harshly as he stood. Levy tried to calm her heartbeats, tried to convince herself it wasn't because she annoyed him he would hurt her again.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" She tried as she gather her courage. He watched her for a moment, glaring. She saw the rage nearly took possession of him, he was about to scream when someone knocked again. Whoever it was, Levy hated that person.

"Diner's ready." Robert's light voice spoke.

"Come on… whining Shrimp. Don't leave my side or you'll die."

Ignoring the insult Levy stood and let her book behind. The corridors were full of people and she felt the tears forming into her eyes again when she felt hands on her body amongst the crowd.

"Don't touch her!" Gajeel eventually roared. After that, there was like an empty circle around them.

Robert and Johan were waiting for them at the end of the huge wet wooden plank they used as a table.

"So, any progress?" The leader asked.

"Actually yes." Gajeel answered. Levy was looking down retrieving in her mind the fear she wanted to chase. After all the more she looked weak, submissive and helpless, the less people would try to approach her. Gajeel on the other hand thought he just told a lie, in reality the more time was passing, and the less he felt Levy could do something for him.

"Levy…" He added after a moment.

She pretend to look scared, flinching and jumping to add more credibility and sent her folk flying across the room. She murmured the appropriated word and a huge metallic "Iron" appeared on the table, nearly crushing the whole plank.

"Practical." Johan commented before taking a ladle of the strange soup in the rusty battered casseroles. But on the left Robert's keen eye was shining.

"Tell me…" He said to Gajeel conspiratorially "You think she could make some gold?"

"No." Levy answered looking down willingly.

"Why? It'll be easier to get rich this way." The leader went on without abandoning his enthusiasm. Suddenly the little mage was scared of him and the manner he was watching her. She wanted to answer it was against the law, but she remembered it wasn't the right place. So she adopted another tactic.

"It is extremely complicated to create something so precious. I have to know the exact composition of what I create and I have to assemble it properly." He studied her, as if he wanted to check if she was lying. For a moment she thought she was doomed and he'd realize the lie but Robert turned toward Gajeel again.

"So that's what you're working at, huh? Will you use her to create gold? That's why she always had her nose into her books…"

"No" The Dragon Slayer replied just after he chewed a piece of metal loudly, "I don't think she can. Anyway any member of the Council could know this gold was created magically. And I tell you again. This is my business."

Robert became silent again, nearly sulking. But Johan kept staring at Levy. Someone served her molasses, she ate it reluctantly. It was either that or starving to death. Beside, there wasn't a lot of food, it was mainly hot water, with from time to time, a piece of potatoes or meat. She understood why everyone here was so thin. Levy was scared, but she was able to feel sorry for those people, for Gajeel who had spent years here. It wasn't an enviable fate, for anyone.

Suddenly the brouhaha quieted and Gajeel stopped chewing. Two men were pulling a third one.

"It's Frank!" Someone screamed.

There was a sort of general stunning moment, but nothing more. No one stood to run beside the dead person, no one seemed at the verge of tears. Levy's heart dropped.

Robert stood and all eyes turned toward him. His footsteps rang into the wetness of the common room. He grabbed the body by his hair, lifted him before his face, observed the knife marks on his cheeks. Two crosses as if he was cross-out, wipe out of the existence. He dropped him.

"Bring him to the rats pit." He ordered.

The two minions nodded and disappeared with the body that let an irregular trail of blood behind him. Levy shivered "the rats pit" what was that?

"Since we got a lot of rats, we throw all the corpses and wastes at the same place. This way we aren't bothered with them anymore. You'll end there if you don't do what I say." Gajeel explained harshly. Levy was stunned in horror before she remembered that he was playing an act in front of the others. Before them Robert had climbed on the table.

"No doubt!" He claimed "It is the people of Kouria's doing! As you know, some times ago, we're trying to settle in there but trashes are resisting. But I've got a very good new for you…"

He walked on the table and head right at Gajeel and Levy. The Dragon Slayer stood certainly because he'd developed the habit to distrust people.

"Gajeel came back!" The Dragon Slayer showed a surprised blank face. Robert seemed to expect an ovation. Instead of that, all he got was a doubtful silent.

"Gajeel is a mage, a Dragon Slayer, one of the most powerful categories! Tomorrow we'll go to Kouria to kill our enemies to the last one thanks to his terrible magical power!"

This time it was the euphoria. Levy thought those people were too credulous. It was good, he wouldn't have to do a public demonstration.

"And now" The leader added through the noise "I hope you'll enjoy you meals."

People started to eat with revived enthusiasm this disgusting soup, and Gajeel sat back, not saying a word.

"Look how they look happy." Robert sang "And it's thanks to you. We're going to get a lot of money!"

"And we're going to have fun like before." Johan added. He had watched the whole scene with his usual passive eye.

Time seemed to stop for Levy as she realized slowly that tomorrow, there would be multiple bodies to throw into the rats pit, and that most of them would probably die by Gajeel's hand after being tortured by Johan. It was horrible and terrifying, she couldn't stand it.

"We had to get away tonight." She begged once the dispensary door closed behind them.

"To go where?" He replied.

"Anywhere else… Norther, I don't know, but we had to…" She tried.

"Norther means death. If we pass the frontier we'll meet the Official Guilds of Wrat country. Their mission is to kill all the strangers. We can't hide here into the snow, you'll eventually die from the cold. Erza isn't stupid, she knows the direction we took. They must watch the train stations right now. So if we go back in the South Fairy Tail will wait for us. They won't come here trust me, Fiore Guilds had no right to go to Mara and Makarov doesn't want to defy the Council." Gajeel sat on his bed and took his head between his hands. Little by little she realized he was as horrified as she was, even if he knew how to hide it.

"There must be another way… you can't kill those people." She whispered.

"This is a lawless zone, I won't be purchased for murders I'll commit here." He growled in response.

"There is no lawless zone for your conscience. If you do that… I mean… I think you'll live older in jail rather than here."

Levy understood she'd said the wrong word. He advanced on her, suddenly threatening.

"It is your plan for me to surrender, right?"

"No!" She argued but it lacked of conviction, fear had taken her throat. But he cut her by clenching his hand around her neck, willingly this time.

"Sorry but it's not my style to sacrifice myself for a group of goods for nothing."

It didn't last this time, he let her go quickly, and when she looked up he looked down. That's how she knew she had one more chance.

"Gajeel, I'm on your side okay so try not to kill me. You mustn't do it. Say whatever you want, I know you're not indifferent, that's why you're sick, I'm sure of it."

She stood facing him and for the first time she saw this expression on his face. A kind of terror, the terror of a child you abandon in the dark. So she went on. She had been wrong to bet on softness and patience. The fight was the only value he knew… for now.

"But you don't have to be ashamed you know. It's official you're not the one you were before, you told it yourself. I don't know what you did before, I just know it is horrible, but the new you cannot anymore, because now you realize what it means. You might think that going to murder the people of the neighbor city will help you to become the one you were… but you're wrong, it will destroy you on the contrary."

There was a silence where Levy took a deep breath, surprised with herself and her bravery, stunned that the marks on her neck hadn't dissuaded her to tell her speech. Before her Gajeel was boiling in rage, but worst of all, he nearly looked sad.

"Because you think I have the choice?!" He exploded suddenly.

"Yes, of course you have." Levy whispered as she tried her best to smile. She felt he was restraining himself not to give in the temptation to punch her, and she took a step back. Finally it was the wall that served as a release for his anger. His whole body turned around to deliver the blow that crackled the cement. For an instant she only saw the ocean of black hair which trembled with each breath. In the middle of the cracks, there were blood strains.

"Bullshit…" He went on between his teeth without looking at her. "I'm not a complete moron. What do you want? Going back to Fairy Tail with me, telling them that I'm sorry? And shortly enough, they will discover that I knew people in Mara, those people won't hesitate to tell them what a scum I was with the hope they could tan their ass in the South. When the Council will learn that, they will throw me in jail. After all I'm a Dragon Slayer, I'm powerful so I'm dangerous. With a past like mine they'll never tolerate to grant me freedom. I should have understood when I joined Fairy Tail, when you were all glaring at me. There is no place for someone like me with you. Friendship, mutual assistance, it's all between you, not with me. No one could ever close their eyes on what I did. And I understand very well. I was stupid to believe when Makarov reached out to me. It was obvious. They'll never leave me alone. Tomorrow I'll go with Robert, Johan and the others and we're going to get Kouria rid of its whole trash. We'll throw everything in the rats pit. And when I'll find the force, I'll put you there too."

The heavy metal door slammed twice and Levy was left alone, stunned. It was obviously the first time someone heard Gajeel uttering so many words. It was also the first time someone heard his deepest thoughts. She burst into tears but she wasn't scared of the rats pit pas again. She was just sad for him, she realized he was condemn to stay away from Fairy Tail, to stay alone, to stay the bad guy even if it could cost his own life. What she received, without a second thought, freely, he could never have it even if he fought forever.

As the tears refused to stop, she wondered why she had wanted to save Gajeel from the prison when the whole Fairy Tail guild wanted to send him there. She understood little by little it wasn't because she wanted her revenge, deep inside she'd always considered Jet and Droy's deaths as an accident. She missed them dearly but unlike the others she never had been angry. After all, she hadn't been angry either when she'd awaken at the hospital after he'd crucified her. Jet and Droy had been ready to fight him again, but she, she was only seeing again and again the expression on his face just before he wounded her. She didn't wanted to admit it, but she had felt at that moment that something sounded wrong. He was too threatening, too mocking, too insulting, too caricatured in his role of bloody character. He had inevitably something good in him he kept hiding. It was the thing she wanted to see and protect, from the beginning.

As the lights went off, plunged her in the dark, she wondered what could be the nature of this feeling? What kind of bond had been born between the victim and the torturer? Something like compassion, it was something anyway. Something that might save him. Maybe.

**X_x**

**Okay... now tell me you know how they'll go through this, I dare you! (Hehe, told ya! I'll ask you the same question at every future chapter).**

**There's another reason why I love this chapter: the Cliffhanger! When I first read it I was boiling with anticipation, or adrenaline or whatever, and today as I translated it the same fire spread in my veins. Still not agree with me? Okay never mind ^^**

**Please review *0***


	11. Kouria

**Chapter 10: Kouria**

**(by Pacifique)**

**WARNING: violence and themes that may shock. This chapter is the main cause of the M rating. Good luck...**

**I only own the translation. "Sick", Johan and Robert belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

Levy stayed alone in the dark for hours. Her tears had eventually stopped rolling on her cheeks, and seized by the cold, she'd curled under the blankets. She knew the door was locked and she was glad it was. She heard laughter, shouts. She didn't want those people to come to her.

She didn't understand. Gajeel promised the rats pit for her, and yet she still wanted to help him, she was unable to hate him. She wasn't angry either. After all, she didn't remember having already felt something alike. Anger. Did she really ignore what it was? Deep inside she did. Deep down she better not. All she could see was the terrible sadness that leaded to do bad things. She knew nothing besides compassion. Hatred was unknown to her. If it was the cause of her weakness, so she wanted to remain weak.

The Dragon Slayer came back later in the night. He staggered like a living statue, unsteady on his feet for a moment in the half-light, before he collapsed on his bed, without a word. He must have drunk with the others she heard loudly in the wet corridor. There was no hope anymore and yet she wasn't angry, neither resigned. She was just sad, sad for him as if nothing could happen to him.

She didn't slept well, shivering into the wetness. She was awaken by the loud knocks against the iron door. Gajeel stood almost immediately. And without looking at her, without saying anything, he grabbed the rope trailing on a shelf, and he tied her hands, her feet and placed her on her bed, as if she was lighter than a feather.

"Where do you want me to go? You know very well I can't escape." She begged. But his eyes never met hers. He didn't answer. He tightened the rope pretty hard and she felt tears prickle her eyes. Near her, he set the pile of books, so that if she contorted herself, she could grabbed a few ones. He left in silence.

She'd have wanted to see the expression on his face, see something she could still save. She remained unmoving for an instant, still rejecting the evidence for a few moments. While she was here, watching the ceiling, Gajeel was currently spreading blood on his hands. When he'd pass this door again, he'd be different. As always when she thought the situation escaped her she plunged frenetically on the nearest volume, she managed to place it on her knees so she could turn the pages with her tied hands.

"**If you can't bandage the narcissistic wound by inviting the patient to revise the infantile inside him, act on the environment."** The first passage her eyes met said. **"Indeed, you mustn't forget the degeneration intervenes because of a mental default, which can have two possible causes. Either the patient hasn't enough cognitive resources and it makes all tentative of investigation by the language impossible. Or the origins of the illness are too deep, too traumatic or too ancient so the patient can't confront it as a first step. Either way, it is imperative to act fast, or else the illness itself will become in turn a traumatic element impossible to represent mentally. The more this process will be advanced, the more it will be ****difficult for the patient to face what he wasn't able to integrate, and to reconstitute it in the light of the present.**

**If the therapeutic work is impossible as a first step, create a reassuring environment which could allow a slowdown, or even a stabilization of the illness. On one hand, it allows to restore the basal security that was touched by the pain from the multiple crisis. On the other hand if the patient feels safe, if he isn't judged, or if he stops to strike a blow at his 'Moi-peau'* or his own content, it may seem less risky to re-examine the thoughts and emotions he couldn't contemplate until then."**

_*(The "Moi-peau" designates a fantasized reality that a child uses during its early development to represent itself as "me", based on its experience of the body surface. Information found on NCBI site)_

Levy sighed, fighting the tears. The theory was clever, but Mara was anyway the worst place to stay for them, for anyone, and they weren't about to leave. She pushed the book which fell on the wet ground and opened randomly the next one, without any conviction.

"**Prognosis List."** The top of the page said. The mage thought wrongly she could find an ounce of hope.

"**Encouraging factors:**

**The illness is recent.**

**The events that leaded to it are dating from the after teenage-hood.**

**The subject had in his early childhood a stable affective environment."**

Considering what she heard when she had hypnotized Gajeel, she doubted Metalicana gave him a stable affective environment.

"**The subject has currently a high quality social network."**

Who was concerned about Gajeel, without counting her… nobody.

"**The subject is conscious that his illness is due to psychological factors and accepts it fully."**

Here a bad point again.

"**The subject is used to express emotions, doubts, fears and can easily ask help from the others to face the problem spontaneously."**

That was the perfect opposite. Levy sighed and looked up. Maybe there was in the following list something worse than what she knew now, a proposition proving the situation could be worse than it already was. She was tied in an ancient dispensary, in the middle of a lawless zone where nobody could save her. She should have doubted this hope was vain and closed the book immediately.

"**Bad prognosis factors:**

"**The patient is/was confronted to a chaotic life, marked by the ruptures."**

"**He has tends in violence, comes to blow easily."**

"**Criminal antecedents are involved."**

"**When you try to hypnotize the patient (description in the chapter 1), he is submersed by irrepressible memories preventing all work. These memories concern parental failures during the childhood or scenes of violence."** In his case, both.

"**The subject's narcissistic wound worsen until the self-hatred, but he thinks it is impossible to change or heal."**

"**The first traumatic events intervened early and/or are repeating during the patient's story."**

"**Some events in the present echo with the recurrent wounds."**

The page was soon disturbed by a tear. No, things couldn't be worse. The book added that if more than five factors were reunited, you had to divide life expectancy by two, which left Gajeel a few months. The next page was describing the end-stage of the illness, it was terrible, disgusting, horrible. As neutral as ever the book was explaining that after the crisis the patient would throw blood, his life would escape literally by his mouth, replaced little by little by the uncontrolled magic. It was like a cancer, killing the body little by little.

Levy closed the book and with her soaked hands, she wanted to throw it away, but it fell on her trembling belly, horrified by her weakness she struggled, and the volume dropped softly on the floor. It was the first time books were failing her. The very first time she found no cure against her fears. Little by little she realized she would definitely end in the rats pit. She didn't know why, she was sure Gajeel couldn't do it himself. But if he'd die in Mara, so Johan and Robert would want her to become their thing. In that case, she'd throw herself in it willingly.

She was curled up into a fetal position, unable to shed a single tear anymore but full of grief, when she heard a heart-rending cry. Gajeel. For the first time, she trashed to loosen her bonds.

**X_x**

They'd arrived at Kouria very early as the whole town was still asleep. Robert had known where to search immediately. They'd found a few minions they tied at the crawler until their ripped bodies burned by snow finally talked under Johan's menace. The headquarters was destroyed, finely chopped by Gajeel's hand while the others acclaimed him. They didn't know why, but there were a few children, very young recruit, fresh prostitutes, pregnant women. It was the way they increased the ranks at Kouria. Everything looking like a woman, from distance or close up, was raped as the Dragon Slayer was watching, his teeth clenched, never attempting to stop them.

Then they climbed at the first floor without resistance, and they were all killed until the last. Meanwhile Gajeel had the impression not to live, to be in a kind of rushed nightmare. His body was killing faster than his mind could understand, spread more blood than he could see. It seemed it only lasted a few minutes while it was actually the afternoon when they left, taking with them feminine hostages. He remembered he'd laughed, mocking those who'd attempted to flee at his sight. For a moment the world was turning into a vast machine, empty of any reason. Nothing nor no one was alive. But he'd heard children cries, cries he'd already heard, long time ago. When had the machine turned back into the living world? When had this mattered so much? After all, a body you slash was nothing but a piece of meat. But he heard screams which had nothing to do with the present. Why now?

He came out of this trance when he was in the purring track that leaded them back to Mara. The first thing he saw was his hands. Under the sticky purple, they'd turned iron again and it hurt him, as if they were plunged into the acid. He bit his lip to chock a scream, he had invoked his armor. Like the last time. He was stuck inside. His left leg wasn't answering. And the world was living again, retrieving this sense so special again, screaming at him what he'd just done in his face, like a shrilling and continuous sound, as the aftermath of an explosion.

"You're hurt?" Johan asked tonelessly. And in a reflex he shook his head. The children cries were still ringing, covering the terrorized whimpers from the futures prostitutes of his clan. His clan, it was his only clan now.

"Hey Gajeel, remove your armor, will you? You have a scary face, you scare me." Robert stated with a strange laughter. He was only interest in the money in the bag set on the seat beside him.

Without thinking Gajeel tried but not to avail. Stuck, he was stuck inside.

"Considering your recent attitude." Robert added with another hearty laugh "I'll start to believe you're gay."

But he didn't hear it. He tried again with his whole will to turn back into flesh and skin. And he was struck by a sort of bout of claustrophobia, he broke the window of the vehicle in a quick motion and the flakes rushed inside. He couldn't escape his carcass. And all of a sudden he couldn't breath anymore. The pain took him by his sides this time, instead of his hands and feet, and he burst out the vehicle, bending the sheet metal, and he collapsed into the snow in a roar of pain.

And then the white desert became red, and everything seemed so immense. Disturbing the redoubtable blue sky, Igneel was facing him. At the bottom of the crater the lava was boiling.

"Who are you? Brat!" The great dragon thundered. A pink maned little boy was hidden behind its large front paw, and his little hands couldn't make a complete circle around it.

"I will kill you in Metalicana's name!" Gajeel roared with his childish voice.

Then everything clouded over and there was only pain and sorrow, the sky lightened in flames that ravaged the ground, and he was drowned in the middle of this fire. Both child and adult version of him screamed in horror together and he had the feeling to free-fall, this sensation he knew too well. Then he dove into the lava. Igneel had chased him with a single whirlwind of flames.

But only the incredulity from the fall was still preserving him from the horror.

The crater swallowed him like a monster in a sickening slack sound. After that he didn't hear anymore, and only thought to fight into the flames, the carapace was melting on his body, burning his skin, he had the feeling it filled his lungs. The blue sky seemed like screaming, Igneel was gone and the little pink haired boy too. He thought he was going to die here, while the sky disappeared, devoured by the burning substance. The increasing warmth pushed for a moment his body toward the surface, as if to extend his agony.

A shadow covered him for a moment, Metalicana's black head. The great Dragon took the time to speak his whole speech before the lava dragged him at the bottom again. And he regretted to be so strong, if only he hadn't learned to fight the pain so much, he'd have never be able to hear those words.

"You failed."

"Save me." Gajeel cried as his carapace on his back was crumbling little by little.

"What for? You are useless to me. You were never useful. Raising you was an error, you shouldn't have been born. Die. That's the best you can ever do."

"Wait!" The little Dragon Slayer screamed but his body was feeling the burn again and his master was leaving him to his fate. So he closed his eyes, stopped to fight, and let himself dive. Indeed, the adult Gajeel thought as he twisted into the snow, he should have died, everything could have been easier.

But Igneel had come back and had seized his hand stretched above the surface with his claws, and he had left him into the shadow of a rock. He didn't remember that. After that he'd fled the warmth, the sun, the rays, the steams, as far as he could. He had disappeared toward the Great North where the only burn possible was the whiteness of the snow, where the only bright light was coming from the stars… it had taken a few years… to reach the safest place in the world: Mara.

Gajeel opened his eyes, he thought once again that the lava had brought him to the surface, he felt again this same burn. But the rusty ceiling of the dispensary was there, instead of the blue and untarnished screen. However the pain wasn't gone. Neither were the screams.

"Untie me! Untie me!" A feminine voice was screaming somewhere.

"Untie her." He panted through his pain. He couldn't stand this voice anymore. The only thing he desired, silence, after the racket of the lava that dwindled little by little in his mind. Icy hands set over him, and he sighed as the pain retreated o so slowly. It seemed that hours passed before his mind could find its clarity. Around him, people were talking, exchanging a swirl of sentences he couldn't understand.

**X_x**

Levy had struggled. As soon as she had heard his voice she had. She wouldn't leave without him. She couldn't and didn't want to. Robert and Johan had entered the dispensary, holding as best as they could his trembling body while he screamed, his eyes empty and his mouth foamy. It was the last step no doubt. If this crisis didn't kill him, the blood loss would.

"Untie me!" She'd screamed. By dint of fighting she only managed to fall from her bed. But she couldn't stand to see him suffer like this, it was as if she was suffering with him, she never had stood the tears or the screams. She knew it was simple to put an end over his pains if only she hadn't that damn rope around her wrists. Robert had placed Gajeel on his bed but he was struggling so much… and they remained here arms dangling without doing anything, watching him die as if it was the most trivial thing in the world. They possessed a terrifying level of insensitivity.

"No we won't untie you. You could take your chance to flee." Robert eventually stated affably.

"But where do you want me to flee!" Levy begged, "I can't survive more than five minutes outside! Untie me I know what to do, that's why Gajeel kidnapped me!"

"No." Johan answered seeming somehow amused by the situation.

But Levy didn't stop screaming, because she couldn't be silent while he was screaming in suffering, she couldn't stand it.

And finally he said it.

"Untie her". She rushed at him, submersing his body with tears, not knowing where she should begin with her trembling hands, realizing little by little that their clothes were covered in blood, and she was staining her own hands. Johan and Robert watched her incredulous.

"Leave us alone." Levy begged again as she felt their gazes weighting on her and Gajeel. He stopped struggling, but he was still groaning, his teeth clenched, his eyes white, staring at the ceiling. But little by little his breath became easier, less difficult.

"Leave us." He ordered in turn in a voice both shaking and hard. They left and Levy's hands trembled slightly less.

"What's happening to you?" She whimpered through her uncontrollable sobs. But he didn't answer. He stood, pushing her against the wall with his big awkward hand, staggered forward and knelt before the washbasin. A complete noiseless silence filled the room. And suddenly he threw up, as she feared a purple liquid, dark, disgusting and charged in pieces of flesh escaped his mouth. Helplessly, she put a hand over his shoulder as he struggled to breath again, as if he was drowning himself.

"Breath, calm down." She whispered, unable to chase her own panic. "The sooner you'll calm down and the sooner it'll pass. It's over, it's over, keep your eyes open, keep them open." He did the opposite because his eyes were prickling, and under his eyelids the blue sky appeared. He collapsed on the wet ground, a hand over his stomach, staring at the ceiling, while Levy curled in horror into a corner, was crying softly. His chest ached, and his breath was difficult. The metallic carapace was gone.

**X_x**

**Phew, poor Gajeel! TT_TT**

**If you were able to stand this chapter, you've passed the worst, congratulation! Things will turn a little better soon.**

**G: I think I will die in the end. '-_-Y**

**L: Don't say that! I'll save you!**

**Me: THAT'S pure love!**

**L: o/O**

**Please review! Tell me if this chapter was horrible enough (in a good way of course ^^). After all, it was the main goal.**


	12. I don't hate you

**Chapter 11: I don't hate you**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Hey! How are you? Still here? Ready to comment after reading? So you can read! ^^**

**So, as I said in the previous chapter, you've passed what I consider like the worst chapter of this fanfic. Congratulation. From now on, some softer moments will come, but keep in mind that Gajeel is still psychologically broken, so Levy's fight is far from being over (it wouldn't be interesting otherwise, would it?) but this is still a Fairy Tail story, and in Fairy Tail, giving up doesn't exist!**

**I've already translated 3 chapters since the last FT scan (O_o metal-shadow Gajeel gave me a fantastic "coup de boost"! And Levy was so cute ^w^). I'll post them soon of course, but I'll still wait a little for more reviews. ...oh come on, it's for Pacifique! She loves any comment/critic so _please_ give it to her! (and she writes faster when she had more of them and I want to know the sequel, so _pleeeeeease_! TT_TT).**

**AHEM! For those who are kind enough to comment/fav/follow: thank you so much, I love you, this chapter is for you! You'll go to heaven! ^^ (I guess the others will too ^^')**

**NOW that I made my little speech, you can read and enjoy as always!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick", Johan and Robert belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

The silence lasted long after the tears dried. Gradually Levy's panic beat a retreat and she felt the need to talk to him, to prove he was still alive and he hadn't left her alone here. Her hands were still shaking slightly, she felt weak but she straightened. He wasn't moving. Why wasn't he moving?

"Gajeel?" She asked after a moment.

A kind of groan responded.

"Where does it hurt?" She asked in a still trembling voice.

"Into the chest. I can't breath properly." Indeed his breath was short. She knelt beside him. And as she pushed his big hand softly, she searched his skin with her fingers, massaging tenderly. He was like frozen by this contact. He wasn't used to feel it because usually he was surrounded by the pain. He wanted to trash, to escape her but he didn't move an inch.

"Ah…" Levy suddenly gasped as her fingers stopped exactly where the suffering was, as if she could read his mind. She gripped his hand lying on the floor, and caressed his rough fingers between hers. And he felt something that shouldn't be here, something hard and cold under his flesh. It nearly made him want to throw up again.

"What's that…" He stammered hoarsely.

"I think you've lost a piece of lunge." Levy answered in horror.

"What?" He stammered. But Levy remained silent, she didn't see how she could be clearer. The magic was encroaching on his body now and little by little the metal was replacing the life which had been dissolved then evacuated. finally, after a long moment he asked the only question which still really matters.

"How long do I have?"

Levy sighed. She didn't want to answer.

"Considering what I know, three weeks… maybe a month… a bit less if the crisis worsen again."

He didn't say anything so she hurried to add.

"I know it seems crazy but you're not condemned. If we leave in a way or another I could heal you. They just have to leave us alone for a moment, so we can find a calm place."

"It's not possible and you know it."

She sighed in turn. She couldn't shake the feeling the he was giving up too quickly. So she opened her books and restarted to think. Meanwhile he had hauled himself up onto his bed, exhausted, drained by the evidence he'd refused to acknowledge.

Gajeel was slowly understanding that no, unlike what he told Levy the day before he couldn't turn back to his former self. Now he had a conscience, it was impossible for him to reject it. Now everything was wearing a kind of sens he couldn't suppress from his perception. At this right moment, being himself felt abominable after what he'd done. Now having a life had nothing to do with as it was before. There was nothing he could do to change that. At the same time, what he'd said wasn't wrong either, he couldn't followed the path when Makarov showed him when he offered his chance anymore. The hand he'd stretched toward him was a snare, it would lead him right into the prison and everyone would still considerate him as a stranger, a dangerous being they couldn't trust, ready to betray at the first opportunity.

Deep down, it was logical to die now. Even with all the resources of his strategist mind, he wasn't seeing another possible way. For a moment he was shocked by the coolness he took the thing with. He suddenly realized he didn't give a damn. He could die… at least he wouldn't ask questions to himself.

"What are you looking for?" He asked gruffly as she just turned the page.

"I don't know, an idea… something that…" She was crying her eyes out in reality, but she was too busy thinking, he didn't hear that. Or he didn't want to.

"Why are you persisting?" He asked again. "You better sleep before the two buffoons come back."

"There's no way I let you die." She said suddenly. She was crying but her voice hadn't trembled, her eye hadn't blinked, nothing had shattered. He knew this strength, the legendary determination of Fairy Tail. This thing that seemed so beautiful from afar, that he could never touch. It was the very idea that together, even if the others were away and absent, it was impossible to fail, that trust could surpass anything.

"Ah I get it." He suddenly stated "You on the other hand, you don't want to die. And if I die, you're going to be slaughtered."

"Is that really what you think?" Levy asked, her voice breaking with tears. "You think this is only for this that I…"

"Don't make me believe otherwise." He cut "I've hurt you, pinned you on a tree, I've killed your two best friends, I kidnapped you and dragged you in this rats hole, you nearly froze to death because of me and I forced you to stay here and you still would unless Fairy Tail decided to research you here, which would surprise me. It's more than enough hate motivation, don't you think?"

He was expecting her to remain silent, but she didn't.

"I don't hate you." She whispered "I've never hated anyone. This is not today I'll begin."

He laughed in a weird way. He'd never believe he could laugh just after learning he had three weeks to live.

"How stupid. Look where it brought you. If you had hated me like everyone else, you'd be in some warm bed and I'd rot in prison. Hatred doesn't exist for nothing you know. It's not for dogs."

"I can't help myself, that' how it is." She answered "I don't hate you. I can't help but want you to live. Actually… I think I like you. I'll be sad if you'd die. For real. Somehow, I think the others were pretty unfair with you. After all, you're a Fairy Tail member, you're part of our family."

Strangely as she said this, her sorrow seemed to fade. As strangely the sadness was crushing him more and more as she talked, and at the same time the pain in his chest lessened. He found nothing to reply, but he realized that deep inside, he liked Levy too. He didn't know why exactly. Maybe because she'd defended him against the others, she'd wanted to help him, because she just told him she liked him. He sighed. He couldn't believe it. Maybe she was saying this to try to save herself. Obviously.

"I've got an idea." She said suddenly. There was no more sadness now, the sacred never dying hope of Fairy Tail had surfaced back. He let her speak without saying anything. After all, if that amused her.

"After all Robert and the others think you are invincible right? Since we can't leave you just have to impose your rules. They admire you, thank to you they got rid of the obstacles in the neighbor city. Maybe you could become their boss. I'll help you, I'll tell you what to do."

For a moment, the idea crossed his mind. He spared an almost fond thought for Killian who'd wanted to change a Guild of low thieves into an Official Guild. He wondered what happened to Litanie now that Makarov had accepted to offer his help. All of this seemed so far. There was an entire world between this time and the present, after the massacre which had created a gash in his life.

"You forget they saw me as I was very ill. Their respect is based on the fact that they think I'm infallible." He thought bitterly that if he started to argue with her, it was because he half-agreed with her. Or he just hadn't the strength to let her enthusiasm melt like the snow under the sun.

"I'll tell them you've kidnapped me in order to make me help you to increase your magic. Simply you possess too much of it for now. Your body has to get used to it, but when it will, you'll be even stronger than ever."

"And you really think they'll believe that?"

She didn't even take a second to think.

"Without a doubt, they aren't much educated, they don't have any critical mind and thy know nothing about magic."

He sighed. Maybe she cared about him after all. Maybe the Fairy Tail mark he was carrying could still make a kind of sense for her too. If it was the case, the very idea of dying without knowing the truth seemed unbearable for him.

"We can always try." He eventually said.

She turned her attention to her book, more determined than ever, and he sighed. What did he just do? He didn't believe it but he felt a kind of warmth spread inside him. Suddenly it wasn't possible for him to give up the idea of both of them making through it. Finally, maybe this stupid hope they all shared had reached him, and it wasn't a good thing. It clouded his lucidity.

They talked again about the implementation of their plan, and then the silence came back. Levy seemed so merry, as if nothing had ever happened, as if she never trembled or cried, as if the rats pit wasn't full of bodies right now. He, he couldn't fight with this burden on his chest. He tied Levy as she asked him to do.

"Don't worry, manhandle me. They won't appreciate if they notice I'm more than a business for you."

Gajeel considered he had enough manhandle Levy like that. But he had to admit she was right.

Finally Robert came back to signal that diner was ready. Levy created a terrorized expression of circumstance, but Gajeel didn't manage to forge a smirk on his face.

"So, what was this crap about?" the leader began.

"You'll see." Gajeel answered.

Amongst the crowd he was dragging Levy by her tied hands. She was struggling to walk in this position, which made her role easier to act. Instead of sitting at the seat Robert showed him, Gajeel jumped on the table in a swift leap, pulling Levy behind him and she hit the edge as if nothing but a vulgar bag.

"Hi everyone!" Gajeel claimed "So, who'd eradicated Kouria's trash?" He tried vainly to chase the images of the massacre. He had to stay calm, perfectly calm.

There was a loud clamor, some of them punched the table, apparently the alcohol had flowed freely while they were in the dispensary.

"I have a great project for you" He went on "For us! See the girl right her?" He lifted Levy by her hair and she trashed, looking furious. "She'll allow me to increase my magical power. This isn't perfectly stable yet, but when it will, I could help you to spread our activity, to conquer other territories, to go… further south my friends!"

New clamor. Gajeel quickly glanced at Levy to check if she was alright before he continued.

"For this, I need you. Since when are you following Robert? Huh? Months? Weeks? Years? And what did you win besides this life in this rat hole?"

"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!" They chanted in unison.

"If I become you boss, you'll have a few weeks of vacation while my new magic stabilize. And when it'll be we'll go to the South!"

Robert's face crumbled, no one seemed doubtful, they all followed Gajeel without exception. At least they bought little time. But the former leader clenched his fists and jumped on the table in turn.

"You are so naive…" He spat and the silence fell. "Can one of you tell me what Gajeel was doing for those years? Hadn't he abandoned us when Phantom Lord recruited him? I know thanks to contacts the Guild had been destroyed. He came back to hide from an Official Guild! Do you really believe he can conquer anything?"

The silence thickened, people stared at each other, doubtful.

"My new magic will change the story!" Gajeel answered as he was still holding Levy behind him, dragging her on the table. The clamor was half-smothered. Levy felt things were turning bad. Discreetly she was preparing her own magic.

"Yeah of course… and what if it doesn't work? The few weeks of inactivity will let us at the mercy of our rivals! The magic be damn! We lived without it for all this time! We can continue! Don't get overwhelmed so easily!"

Then Robert approached Gajeel and whispered in his ear.

"I know you're going to betray us… I know it… you're different now…"

In a theatrical gesture he drew his weapon.

"Death to the traitor!" He shouted and in a series of infernal clatters, all the clan members drew theirs, aiming at them.

"This morning we had the proof you weren't invincible." Robert added as his smirk was growing. Levy sensed a second before what was about to happen.

"No! Don't do it!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. But he didn't listen and his skin covered in iron. The following second she created her shield that broke at the first impact. He caught her so fast she didn't understand and shielding her with his iron body, he ran for it. He turned around to breath on the common table his Dragon Roar which provoked a deep chaos.

"Look, he flees!" Robert claimed in glee somewhere.

But Gajeel couldn't do otherwise now. Maybe this time his skin would never be of flesh and blood anymore, because the carapace was already burning him like acid, no… like lava. Maybe he had condemned himself when he wanted to protect her. He shook his head, turned to the right. If they wanted to survive they'd need money. He kicked the heavy door, still holding Levy in his petrified arms. His back got another bullet impact, and behind them footsteps grew closer. The little Solid Script mage used her free hands to put jewels and money on her belly and took a few money bags. Gajeel exhaled sharply before he turned around, sending everyone on his way flying. He got another impact in the shoulder but it didn't matter. However he wasn't fast enough and turned a second too late. Levy screamed in pain and coins fell on the ground, along with blood.

"Fuck!" Gajeel roared as he ran as fast as he could. He just had to reach the crawlers garage now. Without a vehicle, they wouldn't go far with a hurt Levy in the icy cold. Someone was standing guard. He roared again, moved Levy so she was against his side and knocked the man out with a thick iron pole. He turned around and used it to protect himself from the shots, shielding the Solid Script mage too. But it was impossible for is hand to move, his arm was still obstinately heavy, thick, extending on more than a meter. He smashed the hangar door in and it closed on them, letting them suddenly into a deafening silence where they could hear the outside wind howling. Levy whimpered.

"You have to drive." Gajeel growled as he struggled to fight the pain.

"What?" Levy stammered between her chattering teeth, and he rose his arm before his eyes. He used his other hand to form an interminable needle he dug into the car door. It didn't need more than a few seconds to climb inside the track.

"Pull the lever." He groaned between clench teeth, she obeyed as best as she could, frozen by the contact.

"Press the pedal and start up." She groped while the door opened again. There were two gunshots on the window which didn't break before the engine began to hum. Finally she managed to start up and they rushed outside, crushing the wooden door.

Behind them, they heard again the voices, and another engine hummed.

"Push the lever completely." Gajeel said as his breath shortened. Levy risked a glance toward the passenger seat. He was holding before him his huge arm, punctuated by a row of nails, and his other hand was pointing toward the ground. Even through the iron on his face, she could see he was suffering.

"To the right, the right." He whispered.

"But…"

"Do as I say!" He shouted, so she closed her eyes and turned the wheel. To the right, a huge dune of snow was growing as they came closer. The young mage was convinced the track would be crushed, but it was too late, her gesture was irreversible. But instead of a shock, there was only a soft noise, and they found themselves into a blue semi-darkness.

"Shut down the engine."

Levy obeyed, her heart pounding.

"It's snowing thickly outside, we can't see further than two meters. As long as we remain hidden under the snow like this, they won't find us. There are tons of snowdrift like this one."

She was reassured by his explanation but not by his short breath. She felt he was fighting not to scream, so she put her hands over the metal. But it was so cold she had to retreat at the risk of being burned too. She created a small fire between her hands with her magic, and she waited for the temperature to increase. But time was pressing. This time things happened without violence, his body shook uncontrollably, he couldn't scream because he could hardly breath, as his lungs were petrified in iron and blood escaped by his nose and mouth. She healed him as usual, with trembling hands, her cheeks soaked. But he didn't threw up this time, and she felt hope rise when la crisis passed. The carapace was gone, it hadn't killed him. He was breathing almost deeply again. Only his hands were still transformed.

"Are you alright?" She asked anxiously when he came back to his senses. The book told her he had plunged into a memory, but she didn't want to know. The only thing that mattered right now was the present.

"I don't know" He answered "Honestly I don't care."

Those words brought tears in Levy's eyes.

"And you, are you alright?" He went on hoarsely.

The Solid Script mage checked her bloody leg. The bullet had scraped her but the ten centimeter length cut was deep, it was streaking her thigh almost horizontally.

"I think so." She managed to say "We more or less succeeded finally."

Since he wasn't answering, she focused on giving Gajeel's body its human form back. It took several hours for the magic to melt away and give his hands back. Only an indelible iron sheet persisted on his left arm and prevented him to fold his wrist. But despite everything she felt hope rise again. If they could leave Mara town, if they managed to hide for a few times, all wasn't lost.

**X_x**

**Like it? Yes? No? ...well say it! *_***

**See ya soon! Have a nice day/night!**


	13. The night again

**Chapter 12: The night again**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Okay, I know I said I would let some time pass before the next chapter in hope to get more reviews, which obviously didn't work well (safe for Piranha pk, thank you so much! ^w^), and also because we're approaching the end of the translation, (15 french chapters, and this is the 12th already! I never enjoy a translation like this!) so I wanted to slow the rhythm.**

**...but with the new Fairy Tail chapter (319) I can't help it! GAJEEL FULLPOWAAAAA! He was so cool! And About the passage with Frosch who wanted to protect Rogue, did you see Gajeel's look at this moment? I have the feeling that Levy did the same to protect Jet and Droy when Gajeel attacked them as a Phantom Lord mage. It's decided, this week I loOoOoOve Mashima!**

**AHEM! Anyway back to the fanfic, would you be kind enough to comment/fav/follow? As I already said, Pacifique (and I) loves your review, and she writes faster when she had more of them (and I STILL want to see the 16th chapter, so _pleeeeeease _again!)**

**Please enjoy!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to (the beloved) Mashima.**

**X_x**

"Do you think they're gone?" Levy asked weakly after a moment. She was starting to freeze, and the memories from this night waiting in the train station hall came back at full force, freezing her blood.

"I think so…" He whispered.

Darkness had fallen little by little, now it was hard to see anything in the track's cabin. Levy heard his breath coming more freely, it was time to go from this damn place. All this time waiting without a word, she'd feared to hear suddenly the roar of an engine.

"Where are we going now?" She asked. Gajeel's face had been so sad she feared for a moment he'd order her to leave alone, or worse, say he had no idea, but no, he had a plan during all this time.

"There are mountains to the East. Logically it's complicated to go there in this season, but with the crawler we should manage. In my view, if Fairy Tail hadn't given up on you they're waiting for us at the frontier of the Lawless Zone, but they won't expect us to cross the pass. If we go through this, we'd take them from the rear, and so we could go where we want."

Levy observed for a while the blackness before her. She was already cold enough, the idea to brave a mountain wasn't enchanting her, but it was certainly the only way. A strange force pushed her to trust Gajeel. She told it herself: he was a Fairy Tail member.

"There is just a problem." He went on. "It'll take a few days to cross the mountain. And a few more to come back by the forest toward the South. The tank is half empty. We wouldn't stand a day with it. Not to mention that if without engine, there's no heating, so we'll have to let it run during night. Knowing it's been colder up there."

"So what?" Levy asked as she felt hope leaving her little by little.

"So we have to go back discreetly and drain the hangar's tank, steal a few jerry cans and food. Plus this way… they'll think twice before chasing us."

She sighed imperceptibly and her teeth chattered in a weird way.

"How?"

"I'll go alone while you'll stay here. That won't be too hard, I guess, it's drunken time. That's what I was waiting."

"I come with you." Levy whispered, blowing on her fingers she couldn't feel anymore.

Gajeel laughed sadly.

"The crawler is too noisy, you'd have to walk. I know we hadn't driven a lot but believe me you'd be dead before reached the place, Shrimp."

Again she sighed. She knew he was right, but the idea of staying alone in the middle of nowhere wasn't enchanting her particularly. And if something would turn wrong, she couldn't do anything.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" She asked rubbing her hands.

"Oh… a little hour I guess."

"If you're not back in one hour and a half, I come check on you." She declared.

He laughed again.

"On the contrary, go away while you still can. Anyway, you wouldn't find you way. My nose is guiding me in this snow. Just have to follow the stench."

"But Gajeel…" Levy tried to protest in a trembling voice due to the cold. He smiled and cut her.

"It's a piece of cake. Stay still and turn on that engine before you turn into ice."

After that he broke eye contact and opened the door, pushing the snow, leaving a hole under the snowdrift. He cleared himself a path through the snow until the back of the car before he disappeared, piercing the white curtain hiding the vehicle. Levy sat here incredulous. Did Gajeel just try to reassure her? She didn't understand. Not wasting a second she turned on the engine and la delicious warmth invaded into the compartment. Her flames weren't strong enough to heat her that much and outside, everything was obviously deserted. The snow was thick enough to swallow her, but not enough to chock her. She closed her eyes.

When she was in mission with Jet and Droy and they had to part, she always doubted her two friends would succeed, she always feared something wrong could happen to them. But strangely, she wasn't afraid for Gajeel. She knew that in a little hour, he'd be back with the necessary fuel to brave the mountain. Unlike them, he was calm, thoughtful, he knew his own limits and knew to evaluate the risks. If she was missing her friends, Levy had to admit they'd always been two hotheads, and their courage was sometimes similar to recklessness. Gajeel didn't need to entertain his pride. He did what he had to do, never crossing the line, never taking useless risks, then he always left without expecting any glory. Deep inside, he was an admirable man.

Indeed he came back, much quicker than expected. They had to reverse the track to pull it out of the snowdrift, and she felt guilty as he loaded alone his finds into the big trunks.

"I've found more stuffs than I thought." Gajeel began happy with himself as he sat on the passenger seat.

"Did you see someone?" Levy asked anxiously.

"No, nobody. They were all drinking and acting stupidly as expected. Come on. Let's go."

Levy didn't react immediately. He seemed almost happy, she had to admit. But for her… it was too much. They were about to travel for days, their lives based on stolen food which might be not sufficient. They'll have to sleep with the noise of the engine, driving in the mountain risking to fall into some precipice. There wouldn't be any night of serenity, who knew how long it would take in reality? What if they were caught into a tempest? What if the crawler had a breakdown, condemning them at the mercy of the cold? And yet she had no choice.

"Well… move it, what are you waiting for?" Gajeel spat and stared at her. Despite the rudeness of his words, he sounded worried. He searched her eyes and she took his gaze at full intensity. She wasn't used to look at his eyes for so long.

"You're not my hostage anymore, okay? I'm not forcing you. We go back in the South, okay? "

She nodded and tried in vain to smile.

"What?" Gajeel spat again "You're afraid of me, that's right? You think I want to bring you into a trap? If you want… we can drive toward Fairy Tail, and then I'll take care of myself on my own."

Levy sighed loudly. She thought he had understood she was with him after that plan they prepared together, after she'd told him she liked him, she considered him as a Fairy Tail member despite everything. She was ready to do this for him, to allow him to avoid prison which never solved anything in her opinion… in theory…

"No it's not that." She said tonelessly. "I trust you but… it's just that… I have the impression I won't make through it. You must be used to the impossible expeditions under abominable conditions, but I'm not. I'm just afraid."

She expected him to mock her, but instead he kept looking into her eyes. In reality he was relieved. Levy was with him for good, he wasn't alone. A mountain was nothing for him comparing to the loneliness that had threatened to consume him for good. A mountain was nothing comparing to the death he kept brushing. But for Levy it wasn't easy. He was smart, he could understand.

"What are you afraid of exactly?" He asked calmly. She watched him in surprise, then she looked down. He observed the shadows dancing on her face lit by the dashboard. It was right she was tiny, she looked so fragile comparing to himself. But she had showed so much courage he couldn't believe she was giving up now. After all she'd cried a lot, but she'd faced him, she'd stayed by his side, beside him, the most terrifying creature amongst all.

"I don't know… I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep, we could fall into a hole, die of exposure into the snow or of hunger, or from thirst, we could lose our path in this eternal night and never see the sun again."

"Well, let's take things in order okay?"

She nodded, drying her discreet tear at the corner of her eye. Usually this kind of attitude was annoying him but not this time. He felt inside him a new feeling rising, but he couldn't put a name on it.

"After a moment you'll get used to the purr of the engine, and you'll be tired so you'll inevitably sleep." He began. He felt awkward, he had the feeling he was manipulating a fragile object he could break in one single movement.

"When I close my eyes I see blood… I see you screaming… when I think about it I… I think I'm a bit shocked… I…"

"I feel better, you said it yourself." He blew and felt the piece of iron that replaced his lung brush against his bones. He wasn't convinced himself but he went on:

"Then, it's freezing cold up there, so the snow is as hard as a rock, it never melt. If there are holes, they'll be inevitably full. Worst of all, we might sink on a few meters and I can use magic to pull the track out of it. As for the precipices we'll be able to see them. If we can't see anything we'll just stop for a while, waiting for the weather to get better. We'll take our time. As for the hunger, we have enough food, for the thirst, we'll just had to melt some snow. And not to lose our path, the only thing we need is a compass and this vehicle has three different kinds of them. There is still the risk of a breakdown as you said, but I know hos to fix it, I've spent a part of my life tampering with it. See… nothing to be afraid of."

Through her sadness, Levy laughed strangely. She didn't feel reassured at all, but she was amused. Gajeel had apparently no experience in the human relationships. Otherwise he'd have known the logical arguments were useless against fear.

"What?" He said surprised.

"Nothing… Nothing let's go… it's just that…" Pulling the lever, she stopped, fearing that the next word could upset him. After all, who was she to judge?

"Feeling better?" He asked perplex.

"Not really, but anyway we have no choice." She answered before she added. "But thank you for trying."

She had upset him anyway, during the first hours, he dove into a bottomless mutism, his arms crossed. They rolled for an hour and into the silence silence on the flat land, between the snowdrifts and Levy began to relax. They were gone, and it wasn't so terrible actually. However she knew time would appear long if he didn't speak. She had nothing special to say herself. She regretted to have let her books on the wet floor of the dispensary. Even if there was no possible way to save them, they could have distracted her at least. But fast enough, she was hypnotized by the landscape, there was nothing before her, no obstacle. Gajeel had talked about a mountain but it seemed to be the most improbable thing of the world here. She wondered how the crawler was adhering to the ground, with all this wind. There was only the horizon moving with the blue gusts of snow into the light, there was only emptiness, along with the millions of stars twinkling at them through the dirty window of the windshield. She'd never been so far from home after all. Somewhere in the middle of this nightmare, this night was beautiful.

Little by little the warmth of the heating, the purr of the engine sent her to sleep, she didn't notice the time stretching. Her thoughts drifted away, she thought about the Guild members who were looking for her, and sadness struck her heart again. Poor Erza, she had to feel guilty, move heaven and earth to find her. Poor Makarov, he had to be desperate, feel so helpless. How she wished she could tell them she was alright, Gajeel wasn't the heartless man they thought he was. How she wished it was simple. Why couldn't they see him as she was seeing him now? Ho she wished the whole Guild could see what he was currently doing. He wanted to save her now, he had tried to comfort her. Not to avail, but still.

Then her thoughts became more confuse, images began to take shape before her eyes. Lucy was there, somewhere, she was announcing her novel was complete and she could finally read it. But the story was only telling horrible things, a huge dragon, a kind of monster was ill-treating a little kid. And then suddenly a Gajeel covered in blood was screaming on the floor of the dispensary.

"Levy!" She jumped awake. Everything was calm again, she was still driving, there was still emptiness before her. Gajeel was watching her from the passenger seat, worried.

"You fell asleep." He explained. "Stop, I'm going to drive."

"It's okay… I can keep up." She whispered weakly. After all… he was certainly tired, he was sick, and he had walked from Mara dragging food and fuel.

"Let me laugh." He answered. But she kept driving stubbornly. So his big rough hand set over hers and pulled the lever. The track stopped suddenly, and she nearly crushed her nose on the huge wheel. Once the shock ended, his hand was still over hers and she suddenly realized it was emanating a lot of warmth. She looked up at Gajeel who was looking down. He had a focused expression. During an instant she wondered what he was thinking. She realized it was obviously the first time he showed this kind of gesture. Feeling shy suddenly, she blushed and looked down in turn, remaining silent, fearing that what she could say or do would be wrongly interpreted. Finally he removed his hand and pushed the car door.

The cold bit Levy atrociously. She remembered she had been hurt when her wound burned her. She changed seat as best as she could. Still in silence Gajeel sat on the front seat, blew on his two hands and restarted.

She watched him for a moment, his emotionless face, his hands on the wheel, his mane around his face. For the first time since she had known him, Levy realized he wasn't fearsome. Actually, he was handsome. She had been touched, she understood the courage it had to take for him to put his hand over hers. After all, in everyone's eyes, Jet and Droy, Lucy, Erza, everyone, it was so easy to show love or friendship, to offer help. It was easy because they trusted each others. But Gajeel never had the possibility to trust anyone. Now an unknown force was urging him to meet this challenge in turn, just like he had met all the others. Once again Levy was overwhelmed by admiration. Every time she put herself in his place, she told herself she would have let herself die the first day. Alone, in the dark, surrounded by indifference, and yet he'd always fought. To the detriment of the others sometimes, but he fought, saving what could be saved, as if his life was nothing but a never-ending disaster. He was so strong.

Deep down it was unfair. She would fix this injustice herself, she would be happy to do so.

"You better sleep." Gajeel's voice commanded when he noticed her staring. She closed her eyes, docile, curling up on her seat and she blushed. Saying she liked Gajeel was a lie. In reality it was more than that. She was in love with him.

She slapped herself mentally. It was certainly not circumstances to think about this kind of things. Gradually her spirit froze before the evidence. No matter how well she knew what he did in Mara, and how well she ignored the rest, what he did far before, maybe dozen of times in the past, the growing feeling was refusing to die. The day before, he had killed she didn't know how many people, whose the still fresh corpses rotting in the rats pit, two days before she had become his hostage and he had kidnapped her and even brutalized her slightly. And yet, her regard on him was refusing to change. An instant she wondered who she was to love him. Deep inside… could she feel toward him without falling into the darkness? Did all the horrors he committed mean nothing for her? No, she didn't want to think about it, she obviously wasn't realizing. How was she supposed to see clear into this confusion? Deep down she was frightened by her feelings. Wouldn't it mean she'd have to become like him? Being able to commit horrors in turn?

But her sleep was peaceful, lulled by the purring like he'd promised. Suddenly in her dreams Gajeel was appearing in a new light, and the Solid Script mage's hands, white in light, were making all his sorrows fly away. This hand he'd put over hers gave her more courage than his long demonstration.

She was awaken by a moan. When she opened her eyes the sun blinded her and she moaned in turn, a hand before her face. She turned immediately toward Gajeel. He was gritting his teeth, his eyes on the horizon, his two hands fixed on the wheel. His two hands were iron, and his breath was shorter. She grabbed the lever to stop the machine.

"I can't move." He articulated.

"Breath deeply." She whispered softly. She rubbed her eyes before placing her hands on his forearms, covered in iron too. But her movements were unsure. She'd always done it without thinking until now, but everything was different since she had realized her feelings. She chased this thought as best as she could, blaming herself for compromise his healing for a reason so futile.

"Why didn't you awake me?" She asked trying to know where the damages extended. She felt the magic crawling under her fingers, like a poison, a living venom.

"You were sleeping…" He articulated through the pain. She couldn't help but laugh despite everything. Finally she decided that the priority was to avoid the illness to touch the vital organs. It wasn't simple because she had to put her hands on his belly, massage his torso. At least it had the virtue to hide the redness on her cheeks.

The crisis passed faster this time. Without much trouble, she managed to free his hands which were still gripping the wheel. It took some times, but it seemed the metal was fading faster under her fingers. However, the hand which had been frozen the day before resisted obstinately. She worked on it for a while as he regained his breath, not to avail.

"You can't do anything about that?" He asked so she gave up.

"Not for now anyway." Slightly surprised he stared at his hand. A metal sheet was spreading from his elbow to the middle of the back of his hand. His wrist was fixed and his fingers had hard time to move.

"Do you feel nauseated?" She asked, preparing herself for what comes next.

"Slightly…" He whispered, still looking up.

"Well… I have the feeling you're getting better." Levy concluded as she tried to face him again to smile. But his eyes were glued to the sky, his breath still short. She moved back, happy with herself for once.

But suddenly he opened the car door and in a awful rumbling noise he stained snow in red. She wriggle on her seat. She couldn't do anything. It seemed he was vomiting a lot, too much.

"Are you alright?" She asked after a moment.

"I…" He tried but he was breaking off. Finally he fell on his seat and wiped his bloody mouth with his sleeve.

"I think it's over." He managed to say but he looked in deep pain. This time Levy didn't think when she placed her hands on his trembling body. She found the sheet from the last time over his lung but nothing else.

"Where does it hurt?" She panicked.

"I think it's my hand." He grunted.

Levy wanted to slide her fingers over his but he removed his hand, with a painful moan.

"You think that…" He stuttered as he touched it with his own fingers with a painful grimace. She nodded, suddenly aghast.

They stared at each others for a while in silence, while Gajeel tried in vain to mourn his hand. He mustn't think, he felt it, otherwise he would give in to fear. And Levy's courage wouldn't be enough to face instead of him. She was also at the end of her tether, she was holding out only because he looked to know how to keep his composure and what to do. If he began to fear death, she would go to pieces at the same time. He forced himself to breath, not to wonder when his body would crumbled and what was the point in trying to avoid it, if he would lose a leg, or both, if he wouldn't be able to fight and survive par himself.

"You must be hungry." He said after a moment. He was regaining control again. Doing things one by one, facing the problems one by one, thinking about nothing else but what he had to do right now. As long as he was in control everything would be okay. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else never had mattered.

Levy nodded, so he disappeared outside. Amazingly the biting cold did some good to him. He stayed outside for a few minutes letting the pain on his skin chasing the remains of his nausea. The trunks were covered in frost. His valid hand was frozen by the contact so without thinking he tried with the other. He realized he blissfully felt nothing at all. In fact it may eventually have some good. He came back with energy bars. Without a word, she took them and ate them one by one. He watched her do discreetly, thinking she had to regain strengths. She drank a bit of melted snow.

Once more he left the vehicle, and without a word she went to sit behind the wheel. She seemed to understand it was too difficult for him to admit he couldn't drive again and need to sleep. It was frightening to see how easily she started to read in him. He had to be careful. After all if Levy seemed to trust him for reasons he couldn't explain, he wasn't able to trust her.

As she was starting the engine, her gaze fixed onto the never-ending dark night, he thought that deep inside he had never trusted anyone.

**X_x**

**Well? What do you think?**

**About Levy's reaction?**

**Gajeel's illness?**

**The night and the cold?**

**Please review *0***


	14. Nocturnal reflections

**Chapter 13: Nocturnal reflections**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Hey! How are you?**

**First of all, Pacifique wants to say she loves you all! You made her happy!**

**...and that she asks for reviews/critics again. (well okay, I am the one who adds this, but since she's asking for comments at every french chapter, there's no reason. No discrimination with me! *~*).**

**About this chapter: it is again one of my favorites, (it was the one that pushed me to translate, to share it with you) because it offers the possibility to see two different reflections, two different minds in the characters of Gajeel and Levy. I liked this difference, this paradox in the fact they seem both crazy but understandable. And finally I liked the final realization and dilemma Gajeel had to face in the end.**

**Please enjoy!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**x_X**

Despite the fact they were permanently driving in the dark, they kept a rather regular rhythm. Usually Levy was driving during the equivalent of the day and Gajeel during the supposed night. Every morning when they exchanged seat, a crisis was striking him and he was gradually losing his left arm's motricity. For Levy it was a good news, if the illness wasn't attacking directly the vital organs it meant he felt better. The crisis were shorter, weaker too. But time was ticking. The problem had to be solved before the magic wandered too high and reached the shoulder, or worse... the heart. For this they should have talk, but for now the priority for both of them was to go through this interminable night alive.

Levy had seen the ground bending gradually, like a crazy horse, and the mountain appearing as they pierced the fog, terrifying, its edges sharp. She had stopped the vehicle for a moment, to gaze at the wind blowing on the peaks, diluting them into the sky. It seemed that nothing could survive up there. The landscape itself seemed to be crumbling, dying. The crawler looked so fragile, not to mention Levy, her skin, her bones. Even Gajeel looked tiny, asleep on the side seat. She was tired, cold despite the purring of the heating, and slightly starving. She was tired to be dirty, bent, plunged into the silence during the whole day while he was sleeping. She felt the sudden desire to push the door and to run outside, into the icy wind that would froze her only after a few minutes.

The more time passed, the more she was realizing that she loved him, she loved him despite everything. The more time passed, the more she was frozen by this fact. She had to face it alone. it was the first time she had to face something entirely alone, with no one to support her and help her. There was no way she could talk about it to anyone, and she felt guilty as if she had committed a criminal act. So she burst into tears.

And Gajeel awoke. She wiped them and restarted the engine, before he could see them.

"You okay?" He still asked.

She didn't answer, her teeth gritted. He sighed and straightened.

"Do you want me to drive?" He asked again gruffly. Suddenly she couldn't stand it anymore. She would give anything, for someone to say a nice word, to smile, to talk about useless things, to hug her. Gajeel was unable to do it.

"I'm fine." She answered but her tears pierced her voice.

"What's going on?" He asked again, and she'd have preferred him not to say a word and to leave her alone. She would have liked to be alone for one second.

"Nothing…" She cried as the crawler was attacking laboriously the slope, making their bodies bend backward "I'm only fed up."

He remained silent for a moment, listening her soft cries. He didn't know what to do, absolutely not. Helpless, he decided to wait her to calm and sleep, he couldn't do anything better. So he had all the time to ponder, he thought back about this past time, when he was part of Fairy Tail, he had seen a lot of people console each others. In his eyes Natsu easily took the biscuit in this field and by far. But the sentences which put a smile back on his friends' faces seemed empty to Gajeel, so he couldn't even think about voicing them now. He thought about another detail. Most often people, to reassure each others, were touching their shoulders, or putting their hand over the other's. Last time it seemed it worked a bit. So in the darkness his hand approached hers but just at this moment Levy's sobs grew louder and he put it back as if he was burned, frightened by he didn't know what.

And yet how he'd have liked to do it. But he was afraid. He remembered now why he hated teamwork. When you were alone there was no stake but yourself, nobody else to put in danger, nobody else to hurt.

Suddenly Gajeel realized it, she was doing this for him and only him, she had consented to brave the mountain. After all, she could have begged him to bring her back to Fairy Tail. But no, for her the fact he could rot in prison seemed even worse than everything, worse than this trial he was imposing on her. For a moment… he was almost broken by this truth.

He watched Levy's face, soaked in tears in the half-light. Suddenly she looked crazy. What she was currently doing was complete madness. But it was too late. They couldn't go back anymore now. Gajeel never would have done this for anyone. His goal had always been to stay alive no matter what. But why would he stay alive? Now that he had seriously considered the option to die, and now that he had rejected the very same idea, it was time to answer this question. Living meant necessarily to have something more precious than his own life.

"Couldn't we… I don't know… talk for a while?" Levy suddenly suggested.

"Would it help ya?" Gajeel asked with hope. After all things were more simple with Levy than most of people. She voiced what she needed herself.

"I don't know…" She answered tearfully "It'd make the time pass quicker."

"And what do you want to talk about?" He said as he straightened awkwardly. The conversation was again something he was cruelly lacking.

"I have no idea. Whatever you want." She answered.

Immediately the Dragon Slayer decided to take advantage of this situation to try to know more about Levy. After all, the reason driving her to do everything she could to allow him to avoid the prison was so mysterious it was worth to be interested. By the way… the conversation they'd have wouldn't matter, it'd be still more interesting than watching the snowflakes settle endlessly on the dirty window of the windshield.

"You're weird." He began. Her giggle ended the remaining tears.

"I think I can return the compliment without any harm."

He pondered on it and realized it was true. In any case, she wasn't the first to tell him this.

"True but at least I am logical." Gajeel replied crossing his arms.

"Logical…" Levy whispered "Yes, no need to say we can't take it away from you." However she was still laughing softly. She didn't seem convinced. She went on:

"As for me, I don't feel like I am completely illogical either."

"Yes you are." Gajeel affirmed.

"Why are you saying that?" She asked in interest.

"Because of what you are doing right now. Anyone in the same situation would have managed to give a sign to Fairy Tail. No, worse. Anyone would have sent me in jail. In addition you were alone against all I guess."

"No it is wrong." Levy answered calmly "Makarov wanted to give you another chance. He had the feeling he failed because he didn't believe you when you told him that Litanie wasn't preparing anything."

"Well you were two. But still, it is understandable for Makarov but you… you owed me no debt, on the contrary." Gajeel added, deciding to make himself understood. But once again he crashed into her laughter.

"Gajeel…" Levy whispered "You know human relationships aren't just an arithmetical calculation."

"That's what I said, you're not logical." He went on.

"No… I don't follow the same logic than you that's all." She went on not giving up. He remained silent. Waiting for the next words with a mix of curiosity and anxiety.

"I think you can't imagine, it's… that… well… I'm going to start by the beginning. See, I've grown not far off Magnolia in a small village. My father was very influential there. In fact he represents a rather new religion and he is very appreciate. Almost everyone joined it. Personally I am too rational for that kind of things, but let's say he became a very tolerant man thanks to it. He taught me to pity the ones who hurt the others. For him, the persons who cause pain around them suffer themselves, otherwise such an idea would never cross their minds. Well anyway… even without that, when I was a kid I've always been treated with tender loving care. Even when I was at school I was a little prodigy, everyone liked me. Imagine when I realized I was a mage… the whole village was proud of me when I left for Fairy Tail. What I'm trying to say is… you are the first person who ever hurt me. No hard feelings huh… deep down… hatred, anger and all this, I don't really know what it is. Sometimes I can be upset… but nothing more. On the other hand I grew up surrounded in compassion. This is logical if it is the first thing that come to my mind when someone hurt me, don't you think?"

It was Gajeel's turn to laugh.

"You wouldn't have last half a day alone in Mara." He commented.

"Surely… but think about it… I'm not the one who's sick." For even an instant Gajeel remained silent, searching the link between what she was saying and his illness without finding it.

"Anyway I don't believe you. You inevitably were angry in a moment of your life…" He eventually said.

Levy remained silent an instant, she seemed to show good faith, thinking.

"Yes… well no. Let's say when something's wrong, usually I cry. But you realized it by the way didn't you?"

"Yeah… I realized." Gajeel had obviously jumped on the occasion to make an unpleasant comment, but she wasn't upset.

"My father always said that anger is a false emotion. Anger is actually disguised sadness. We are angry only when it is the only way to stay alive. Not everyone lives this kind of things…" Levy continued.

He remained silent for a minute, observing the snowflakes fluttering again and again.

"You think that's why I'm sick." He said suddenly.

"Amongst others yes." Levy answered frankly.

"So what do you want me to do huh, so this crap stop eating me?" He talked with anger again. As if she'd just insulted him.

"It is difficult to say, but I think we have to look back to the origins, to understand what's the trigger."

"For what purpose?" He grumbled again.

"I don't know what you've been through." Levy answered calmly, with a touch of despair in her voice. "What I know it's that you never took the time to think about it. You must go back over those haunting things that prevent you to move on, to trust people. You must allow yourself to be sad. Once you'll put everything in order, not only you won't be sick anymore, but you'll feel truly better."

"And you, where's your profit?" Gajeel asked again. He'd tried to sound as angry as ever, but she sensed he was losing his facade.

"I told you. I care about you… I… I don't want something bad to happen to you. I don't want you to die. I think you deserve to come through it otherwise than as a torturer in Mara, and I reckon that it is my duty as a Fairy Tail mage to fight for this."

Levy blushed, hoping that the dark could hide her embarrassment. She just lied to him, she knew he knew. She also knew he had no idea of what this lie was hiding. She had vowed to get rid of this feeling. She could help him, care about him, she knew objectively she was right to do so, it was what her values were commending her. But she couldn't love him. Loving him meant loving the blood he had on his hands.

"You're hiding something…" He whispered in the dark "Your heartbeat increased."

Levy cursed this organ which allowed her to live for the following second before answering.

"No, I don't lie. I always had cardiac arrhythmia. Blame stress for that. Let me remind you we are in the middle of nowhere, lost in the coldest place in the world." She was amazed to see how easily she could have lied with such a nerve when her cheeks were burning red. She prayed, hoping that the Dragon Slayers hadn't the power to see in the night.

"See… you've also got emotions that make you sick." He eventually answered crossing his arms.

"True…" She eventually agreed. In the end she had been able to pull through it.

In the end Gajeel and Levy spoke during the whole night or day, there was no difference. From now on they lost all sense of time. The clock of the track had stopped, frozen by the cold. And Levy had been terrorized by the simple idea that time had definitely stopped, and they could wander here forever, advancing over and over again. She had the bad idea to voice this thought aloud and Gajeel mocked her copiously, and strangely it reassured her.

The Dragon Slayer's tongue were loosened little by little. He'd well understood that if he wanted Levy to make through it, he mustn't leave her in the silence. Now when they were both exhausted, they stopped the machine on a safe place and they fell asleep together. The time they wasted didn't matter, it was safer to do so.

As they were climbing the mountain slope, Levy was discovering how cold, rigid and emotionless Gajeel's thought could be. For him everything was a question of survival, of adaptation. She was also realizing little by little that despite the appearances, he was very thoughtful. And as for him, as he listened Levy, he was surprised to discover a whole world filled in strange things he didn't know. The strange happiness she took as she was speaking with Lucy for instance, the pleasure she took as she was reading her first book, sharing things with her friend. It was completely alien to him, while she was founding there the very ground of her existence.

But as they drove closer to the peak, the icy cold intensified. Levy felt like she was gradually turning ice and she began to sleep in his arms, glued to him while he was driving. He was able to sleep only a few hours without any problem but fatigue was starting to win over her. Too often the tears were streaming on her cheeks and he could only watch her, helplessly, without knowing what to do or say. She had tried to used her magic to handle the cold, but making a fire inside the track was dangerous and the residual heat she managed to create wasn't enough. It seemed that this fact killed the hope she'd struggled to keep inside her.

There were a few terrible days where she was too cold to sleep and she couldn't help but cry without interruption. However she managed to drive, he didn't know how, she was driven by an extraordinary strength unknown to him. It was certainly due to the legendary determination of Fairy Tail.

Finally they reached the other side of the mountain and the slope was reversed. On this side, I was a little warmer. And an eternity later, this incredible moment happened.

Levy was sleeping against him, she was exhausted after she had remained so long in the insomnia, and having cried tears until she was dry. He was scared to break her with every movement. The more time passed, the less he hated feeling her body against his. He had the impression that in a way or another, the contact did good to him and helped him to hold on. In a matter of second, he wondered what would happen to this strange contact between them, once they'd leave this storm. It was survival and nothing else, but even him knew those gestures weren't devoid of meaning. Somehow it had become something else for him too. But this morning, he didn't care if she was tired, he didn't care about the meaning of this contact between their skins, he couldn't let her sleep.

"Levy… eh Levy… open your eyes, look!"

She moaned and stirred slowly. She had very little memories, her mind was nothing but a confused mist of suffering and cold. She only knew she shouldn't have been so close to him. But he was so warm, he was the only thing that could warm her when her magic had become useless because she was too tired, when the vehicle heating wasn't enough anymore. By the way, she didn't even remember why she felt guilty to find herself against him.

However those details were quickly forgotten when she opened the eyelids. Before her eyes, away, far away, so far away the sky was tainted of red. Bloody red, but still red. It meant that over there, the sun was rising. There was a country, a place that knew the light she needed so much.

But then it was deception. After half an hour the light faded and she burst into tears. Unsure Gajeel took his chance and plunged a hand into her hair, caressing her tenderly as he remembered the way mothers were acting with their children.

"Don't cry." He murmured still sharply. "That was the sun I'm sure of it, tomorrow we'll see it better, and the day after maybe we'll walk in its light."

"I can't take it anymore…" She managed to chock weakly.

"We did it Levy, the worst is behind… it will get warmer now. Soon you won't be cold anymore."

She didn't seem to hear him, she had closed her eyes once again. He was sleepy too but it would be bad for her to stop here since they just plunged back in the total dark. She was sobbing again, and if she felt the machine stop it would be even worse.

Gajeel narrowed his eyes, the snow was falling thickly, he could see nothing but it didn't matter. Because there was nothing to see. The horizon was flat, entirely flat, indistinct due to the snowfall. There was no relief to create snowdrifts on the race of the wind. Yet his fingers were gripping the steering wheel, he feared that something else would happen. At the top of the mountain, inside Mara he feared nothing, but now they were nearly reaching their goal, fear was clawing at him. As he was watching the horizon nervously, he was constantly checking on Levy, fearing suddenly she stopped breathing. She'd fallen asleep, he didn't hear her anymore and the silence seemed quickly deafening.

But after all he had all the time to think. This fear was stupid after all. He found no arguments to feed this fear, all the facts were encouraging, they would soon leave this icy hell safely. The illness progression on his arm was decreasing, they had crossed the mountain as planned, and for now, Fairy Tail had no idea where they were. Their plan had worked as expected, the food and oil reserves were enough for them to travel again two more whole weeks. So what? What was he afraid of? Gajeel was rational, but his reflexion had built no barricade to block the emotions, he'd understood they were an important parameter to take into account in the events development.

By dint of thinking Gajeel realized what he feared was precisely that their plan was about to work. What would happen next? Levy was going to want to go back to Fairy Tail, she would move away from him and signal his presence somehow. He would have time to flee of course. He could disappear thanks to her, and begin a new life elsewhere, as he did so many times before. But the truth was it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to go back to the life he had before Jet and Droy died, he wanted to come back to Fairy Tail, he wanted Makarov to let him come back as a member and more importantly, he wanted to stay with Levy.

He watched her for a second, snuggled against his torso, his arms wrapped around her, she was blowing a white breath on his chest. For a second he imagined himself alone, alone in this cabin. It seemed crazy. Alone it would have been easier, objectively, Levy had been a burden, a thing he had to look after anytime. If he hadn't caught this disease, if Erza hadn't burst into their room that fateful day, he never would have had the idea to bring her with him. Worse, it would have seemed suicidal. He had never felt superior to her, but in this kind of situations, in a place like Mara, her strengths became useless, and her weaknesses a weigh. Technically, she was fitting in those old libraries, translating ancient languages, not with him.

But it was precisely _that_ that scared him. Now that she was here, he didn't want her to be anywhere else. He was starting to believe that Levy really cared about him, the trial she was currently suffering was an irrefutable proof. After all Juvia hadn't tried to help him. She knew him enough to think he certainly had betrayed the Guild. Levy thought there was something to save in him despite everything, she'd always trusted him. And now, he needed her more than anything, or else he'd stop to trust himself, and the illness would eat him slowly.

Suddenly Gajeel realized he had built his own trap. He never realized how much he needed her, and the way he had chosen to follow leaded him to their separation. At the end of the way where he had brought Levy, there was no hope. He should have left alone that day. Let Levy and Erza and run away alone. Now he was trapped.

Once again, he glanced at her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful all of a sudden. The fear disappeared as soon as he realized she was the cause. Because the solution of the problem was simple. He simply wouldn't let her go. There was only one possible option. She would become his hostage again. He already felt guilty in anticipation as he watched her sleeping, reassured. She wasn't about to see the end of the pain he would inflicted on her. He promised to himself he'd try not to hurt her. It might be selfish and monstrous, but it was the only way possible. Keeping her with him forcefully. It was this or dying alone. She'd forgiven him when he'd hurt her, when he'd kidnapped her and when he'd taken her in the middle of nowhere. So there was a chance that she'd forgive this too. He had to try. It was the only chance he had.

**X_x**

…**Holy crap! O_o**

**Please review and tell your feelings, impressions and critics if you want to read the next one (because I've taken the next chapters in hostage! Gihi!). Love you all! *0***


	15. Lorée, frontier between day and night

**Chapter 14: Lorée, the frontier between day and night.**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Hey I'm back! ^^ ...hide your joy! .**

**First of all, for the reviewers: thank you for the reviews! You are great!**

**For the no-reviewers: I hope you still like it. If you did you are great too! Otherwise... *go sulking* 3**

**When I first read this chapter I was near a fire so I was alright. However two years ago I had the occasion to touch stocked objects at -75°c and I can tell you that you understand FULLY the expression of "biting cold" and I still remember it. So why I am talking about that? So that you can put yourselves at Levy's place in this chapter, and after that tell me if you'd be able to handle this.**

**Anyway, they finally left the night behind. So what will bring the day?**

**Please enjoy!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" and Lorée belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

Levy got weaker everyday, but he didn't know why, she constantly refused to sleep, to the point that now they were arguing often. Once, he had to force her to take the passenger seat. They had seen the sun break the horizon five or six times. Last time, it had lasted a few hours. And they had to admit it had been a living hell. They had been forced to stop, unable to keep their eyes open into the light reflected by the snow. They both enraged to be incapable to move for all this time, without any chance of sleep.

But the contact of the light was a real benediction for the two.

Since he'd decided she would become his hostage again, Gajeel couldn't look at Levy in the eyes. Suddenly he couldn't bear to talk with hear, to comfort her, and above all, he couldn't bear her never ending cries, her weakness. He didn't want to admit it but he was also reaching his limits. He also wanted to sleep in peace so badly. He told himself that anyway they soon would reach Lorée. It was a town built on what people called 'the frontier between day and night'. Of course it wasn't totally the truth. During this season, Lorée knew a normal day, except it end around four in the afternoon. He couldn't wait to be there. And at the same time he feared this moment. The moment Levy would understand what he'd planned for her. The fate he was about to inflict to her. He would only replace a living hell by another.

This day, they were prostrate in the ocean of daylight and he felt her move on her seat.

"I'm going to… drive…" She whispered.

"You're crazy." He grunted between his teeth.

"No… my eyes are getting used…" She affirmed weakly "I can keep them open."

"Of course…" He grunted with irony. By challenge he wanted to open an eye, but the light burned his retina mercilessly and he was forced to give up. He waited a little more, hoping that if the light wasn't hurting her anymore, she would eventually fall asleep. But he felt her move again, he felt her hand on his dirty shoulder and this contact was nearly as ardent as the sun.

"Gajeel…" She insisted "I… drive..."

"You're going to kill us both if there is something on the way." He answered, anger thundering in his voice.

"But no… I want to drive." She kept insisting. She had even found the strength to straighten, arguing was a waste of time.

"No." He still replied.

"Gajeel" Levy suddenly sobbed "We're almost there, it's almost over I can feel it. If I stay here waiting one more minute I'm going to go crazy, I'm going to… I'm going to…"

"You're going to what?" He growled unpleasantly.

"I… I don't know but… I… I want… to drive… I know that…" She stammered through her tears.

"After all… I won't be the one to die if we'll have to crash." Gajeel stretched and left the vehicle. The cold air was less biting, but still, he had to be careful. A part of him was still on the mountain, bursting out of the track to help Levy when she couldn't manage to walk around the vehicle, because of the wind and the cold which could kill her in a few seconds. Levy sat down behind the wheel without problem and started up.

Her mind was a fog. She didn't felt the hunger anymore, neither the absence of taste of what was still in the meat-safe, she couldn't feel the filth over her body or the smell, neither the shooting pain from her wound on her thigh. The only real thing was the fatigue. Keeping her head high was a torture, each movement snatched moans from her mouth, her body couldn't bear the bend or the contortion anymore as she was curled on the seat, but at the top of the mountain, she had no other choice but fight the cold. Her neck and back were painful and by means of trembling, the muscles were sore and tired.

So she wanted to drive, she wanted to drive because she felt that each hours spent in that vehicle she came to hate was bringing her closer to madness, to death. So she forced herself a to keep her eyes open despite the burning sensation. She couldn't see anything, nothing but white, the line of the horizon was indiscernible. But she thought the town would be black and dirty, like the building of Mara, like everything the human could build.

Big mistake.

Lorée was white, entirely white. The story of conflicts opposing it to the Lawless zone made the inhabitants paint it in white, to merge with the snow, and disappear. The buildings were round and painted, anyone could mistake them with snowdrifts. The flat desert seemed so immense, she had the impression to be an ant, she was so exhausted she never realized the crawler on the ground could reach the rate of one hundred and twenty miles an hour* when it was at its maximum speed. Completely blinded, she never saw the first snowdrift.

_(*T.N: please let me know if I write it right. I meant 200km/h)_

She shrieked as she heard the snow rubbing against the cabin and turned the wheel. It was her first reflex, avoiding the unknown obstacle she had rushed into. The crawler spat a deep rattle, there was an awful metallic grinding while the track was slowly toppling over. Gajeel fell on the front seat, and in a deafening racket they turned over and Levy was thrown against the ceiling.

"Shut it down! Shut the damn engine down!" Gajeel roared as he trashed into a position he never thought he'd be able to find himself. Levy moaned, apparently she'd been injured. Blood were running from her brow. She was spread over him. They needed a whole minute to manage to shut down the engine awkwardly and to sit on the ceiling of the vehicle. The crawler roared, and then it was silence. A silence without engine, without the purr of the heating, a silence they had forgotten it could exist after days and days spending in the racket in the middle of the snow. They savored it for a moment, noticing their abused ears were whistling.

"The heating…" Levy stammered. Of course, Gajeel thought, it was the first thing she'd think about. But now, the chimney that allowed the exhaust gas evacuation was directly plunged into the ground, if they let the engine warm them even so slowly, they would suffocating to death. The Dragon Slayer came to the only possible conclusion.

"We have to walk." He stated bluntly. He saw Levy's eyes filled with tears in the blinding light, despite the shield the snow was forming around them.

"Walk?" She stammered as if he just announced she was dying. He thought it certainly meant the same for her. He knew there was a chance for her to make through it, but from Levy's point of view things were more complicated. Gajeel was used to calculate his chances of survival, and if they didn't reach zero, so he always acted, that was all. He kept all other thoughts away, ignoring his own pain. But Levy, her pain, she was living it fully, and from her point of view, the trial seemed insuperable. But as her eyes filled with tears, he felt an heavy exasperation rumble through his body, he had not the patience he was able to show before. Or maybe he didn't want to anymore. If Levy had to be his hostage again, he had to create a gap between them. As the light was burning their eyes, he considered another fact. When he had asked Levy why she was doing this, she had lied, he'd heard her heart beat faster. Her answer about the cold hadn't convinced him. Slowly, the idea of her preparing her revenge was germinating in his head, she potentially planned something to hurt him. He couldn't imagine what it was, but she was so damn clever, her mind was beyond reach and he knew it. After all, she could have easily played an act in order to gain his trust, and she would have succeed, he had to be even more careful.

"If there are snowdrifts that means Lorée isn't far. We can be there in about an hour or two by walking."

"No…" Levy breathed helplessly, her eyes glassy.

"We have no choice. If we stay here unmoving, we'll be freezing when the night will fall, if I restart the engine we'll be asphyxiated. We must walk."

"You… you can't turn it over?" Levy asked tonelessly.

"No, with the snowdrift I can't. And guess what? You've no choice. I've warned you, we should have waited for the light to decrease. You didn't listen, so here we are. You deserved it. Don't count on me to carry you."

Without another word he struggled as best as he could to grab the blankets they had let in the back, kicked the door like a devil, making a huge amount of snow fall. Before he left, he threw half of the blankets on Levy and stated icily.

"Come on."

It took a while before she found the force. The cold air rushed inside by the opening Gajeel had created. She'd be forced to put over her shoulders the dirty blankets she couldn't stand the smell anymore, and then sink into the snow which would thread its way under her clothes and melt, against her futile protection against the cold. Then she'd have to walk, put a foot in front of the other, for how long she didn't know. No, definitely she'd better die here.

"Come on move yer ass." Gajeel's voice called from the outside. "The quicker we leave and the quicker we arrive. I don't want to rot here." Suddenly Levy caught a glimpse of hope through his words: there was, after a few hours walk, after this incommensurable effort they had to make, the possible end of her nightmare. In Lorée there were buildings with solid walls that allowed no drafts, a shower and maybe even a bed. Caressing this wild idea, she managed to extricate herself from the cabin and she cried out when the snow slid along her back. She let out another cry when she set foot on the ground. The wound, she had forgotten this damn wound on her thigh. Not to mention that her head hurt where it had hit the windshield, clouding her vision. Taking a step forward was a real torture and who knew how many steps it would take to reach their destination.

Outside the snowdrift it was even colder. The wind was biting her skin and the wet blanket. She took another shy step, and fell in the snow because her wounded leg refused to support her.

She burst into tears.

"Holy shit, you're pitiful." Gajeel nearly snickered. And yet he bent, pulled her hand before she was completely soaked and wrapped his arm around her shoulders on the side of her wounded leg.

"My… thigh…" She stammered through her tears.

"Ah yeah… I'd forgotten."

Gajeel's body was warm. It'd been several days they didn't sleep in each other's arms anymore. Levy had put it to an end as soon as she'd got a little warmer, and especially since he was using this terribly indifferent tone with her. She hadn't thought about it all this time, but suddenly her feelings surfaced, piercing her panic. A first surge of love, then the terrible fear about his actions, the fear he was currently making her feel, because he was cold and harsh again. And there was nothing more, she set her foot on the icy ground once again, sank to her knees and the panic regain the upper hand. They had to walk, walk and nothing else.

Levy kept very little memories about Mara, and even less about their long trip through the cold. Now when she wanted to remember all this, the only remain in her mind was a mist of icy indistinct suffering where was occasionally piercing a scream from Gajeel under the influence of a crisis and a heap of corpse into the rats pit she'd never seen. His first distinct memory was referring to their arrival in town.

It was as if they had landed on another planet, the round buildings looked like eggs, immaculate. Between them a road was snaking, painted in white too. But it was cleared of the snow. Behind this surrealist scene the sun was setting slowly. But there wasn't any noise, any open window.

"Where…where are the people?" Levy asked in a desperate voice which rang strangely against the curved walls and in the empty air.

"They locked themselves." Gajeel breathed in a mist of condensation.

"W… why?" Levy stammered again at the simple idea of spending more time outside.

"Because I am here. Mys piercings tell them I am Mara mafia boss. When I was knee-high to a grasshopper it was already like this, so you can imagine now… we used to come here to get some girls before… "

She couldn't understand everything he said, she was too tired, nearing the end of her horrible journey, she was almost sleeping while standing. Gajeel dragged her to a door a few hundreds of meters away. He felt her whole body trembling, her eyelids were about to close, if they couldn't get warm quickly, the consequence could be disastrous.

He knew the building, he slammed his iron hand against the door, like a brute. Inside there were screams of terror. And he found them as intolerable as Levy's weakness.

"Open the door!" He shouted "Or else I reduce the hostel to a dunghill!"

The door opened and creaked loudly. The person who was standing here was hiding in the shadow, shaking to the point he felt like he was greeted by a ghost. He quickly pushed Levy inside, still thinking with relief that finally… she was safe. The warmth spread slowly inside him and only now he realized how much he had been cold, all this time. Levy close her eyes and sighed in well-being. She had been within an ace to lose consciousness. It had been really close, more than ever. If she died, he would die from his illness a few days later… he knew it.

"I want a room." He stated slowly.

Before him, the shadow nodded hastily, left and came back immediately later with the key. When the light caressed her face, he understood she was an elderly lady, extremely thin, her skin tanned in wrinkles. It explained why she was still here. All the young girls of Lorée had been kidnapped to be turned into sex workers at Mara.

He had to move Levy against him to grab the key she was holding out with his valid hand and Levy shivered. The metal of his arm was icy. It must have been the last straw because she fainted. He tried to persuade himself she was still safe, not to avail.

He held her tight against him to go upstairs. The cracked wooden stairs creaked under his weight and for a brief moment he dreaded going through it. The first floor was covered in red fitted carpet exactly just as he remembered. They'd stay in the back room, the window opened up on the white immensity they came from. Over there, so far away, he could see a little bump: the mountain they'd crossed. In hindsight, it seemed pure madness. With a kick he closed the door and wanted to place Levy on the bed, but noticing her black skin and the white sheet, he decided he'd better wash her before. All the more so since the contact of the warm water would do some good to her.

It was weird. He was incredibly fed up with her cries, her complains, but now that she was asleep, he felt the need to take care of her like before. As long as she couldn't set eyes on him, it was okay.

So he put her in the tube of the small wooden and yellow tiled bathroom. She struggled weakly and drew big black trails around her. He sighed, paused, sighed again before making his mind and grabbing her, trying to remove the huge filthy pullover she was wearing since Mara. But his metal hand slipped over her skin and dropped heavily, the fabric tore apart.

"Fucking shit." He swore. With his valid hand he pulled strongly and the rest cracked. Disgusted by the smell, he threw it into the garbage can. Apprehensively he stared at the black pants she was wearing. He paused again. But he finally decided that if she fought or protested, after all he would just knock her out.

He unbuckled her pants gingerly, trying to avoid contact as best as he could. She moaned again, turning her sticky haired head on the side. And he put back his hands as if she had burned him. He thought he was lucky to be too tired and above all too embarrassed to allow improper ideas to reach him. He was actually obsessed by the fact that he could hurt her. She looked so tiny without her huge wool jumper. He realized how much weight she had lost. Of course they'd had enough food, but they hadn't taken the time to eat, they had lost track of time and forgotten about it. Gajeel noted inwardly it was a mistake not to repeat.

He pulled the pant's legs awkwardly and Levy's ankles hit the tube with a thud. This time she tensed in her semi-coma and he felt he had really hurt her. Groaning against himself and hoping she hadn't completely surfaced, he turned on the water.

And of course, he had omitted it would be cold at first. She trashed, her hands slipped against the tiles and she stared at him with her big widened eyes wondering why such a cruelty. She squirmed, faltered, rocked, but never managed to straightened. Her mouth opened and closed on her breath struck into her throat, incapable to utter a single word. And he stayed here watching, fascinated, as the spray was pointed right on her. The bones were protruding on each side of her pelvis just above the fabric of her undergarments, stuck to her skin, the filth was rolling over her body, disappearing gradually, her belly was moving so fast he wondered if she wasn't about to die here by asphyxiation. He never had seen something alike before.

Then the water turned warm and she collapsed in the tube, closing her eyes again. He sincerely hoped she wouldn't remember this episode after a good rest. Awkward and embarrassed he put a small amount a soap in his palm and began to rub. She moaned and blinked absently. His movements were making her waltzing. For a brief moment he remembered her hands over him, their softness, and he suddenly realized that those gestures she'd repeated so many times certainly required a lot of expertise. He didn't have a gift for this kind of things.

He took a deep breath, trying to get a better control over his movements. He passed the soap everywhere he could, avoiding the scandalous parts, then he washed her profusely. And finally he searched a towel, relieved it was over.

He wrapped it around her, rubbing as best as he could as he was holding her with his unmoving metal arm. He avoided the cut on her thigh. Even after the passage of the water, it remained ugly. He thought he shouldn't have underestimated it and should have taken a moment to stitch it before braving the snow. The skin was red and swollen around the suppurating cut. Soon she would have fever if he didn't take care of it.

So he set her down on the bed and left to get some alcohol. Downstairs shouts were resounding, so he stopped at mid-stairs to listen.

"He mustn't stay. It will be like before. The others will come, they're going to impose themselves and ruin us, rape our girls and take them away during the night!" A masculine voice stated.

"What do you want to do? He's the Son of the Dragon. He's a mage." It was the old woman's voice.

"I won't lay idle this time. This night when he'll be asleep…"

At this moment the Dragon Slayer decided to let his tired voice interrupt their conversation.

"This night nothing at all." He said, and a bunch of white faces stared at him in horror.

"Relax" He added, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't belong to the Mara mafia anymore. Anyway everyone knows there's nothing to take here. I'm not here to pick a fight. I just need a stopping-off point. I'm going to pay for the room, the meals and whatever. However… if you try something I don't like… sparks will fly. Am I clear?"

They all nodded in silence.

"Good…" He breathed between his teeth. He rummaged around in his disgusting pocket and his fingers brushed the multiple jewels they'd stolen before their departure. He seized a necklace set with diamonds. He knew Robert never burden himself with imitations. He held the treasure out to them, and they flinched.

"That should be enough. They're real."

The old woman eventually came closer and took it. She contemplated the object with her widened eyes, as if she couldn't believe it.

"I need alcohol for disinfection too…"

They exchanged frightened looks and finally the man left hastily. He came back with a bottle and a rag.

"Thanks." Gajeel stated. Suddenly he realized it was the very first time of his life he was voicing this word. In the corridor, this admission made him freeze. Their frightened faces danced before his eyes for an instant. Then Levy's eyes, her begging eyes under the cold shower, then the others. Thousands of others, hundreds of thousands of others, and the screams.

He collapsed in the corridor and the bottle rolled on the floor. His arm burned and the rest of his body caught fire brusquely like a torch. He curled on himself, like a child. He bit his lip. During all the time, he saw red, as if he was currently lying under a blazing sun. A sun like the one there, at this place he ran away from. He struggled to stay conscious, not to return there, not to hear Metalicana's voice, not to feel Igneel's fire, not to see Natsu, clinging on his huge paw, and the crater…

The crisis faded. Then the nausea came. He stood abruptly, completely alone, rushed into their room. Blood, he was vomiting too much blood. How long did it last? And Levy was sleeping, she couldn't do anything for him. His arm was still burning… it reached the shoulder. He felt the pain making headway to the inside, to his heart. For a moment, he waited for the death, his mind totally empty due to the panic. But nothing, the nausea faded, his heart was still beating. He sighed deeply, to feel the extend of the damages. He removed his pullover and threw it straight in the can with the soaked remains of Levy's. His arm was entirely covered in iron, but his elbow was still mobile. It was inconvenient but it didn't hurt strictly speaking. However his wrist was completely immovable, along with his fingers. His shoulder was attacked from above, which made his movements difficult and on his pectoral, the magic was scattering threateningly, gnawing him as it follow the path of the veins and arteries like an octopus was spreading its tentacles.

He came back in the corridor to take the bottle of alcohol no one had dared to touch. He awkwardly poured it over the rag he was holding between his rigid fingers and he mopped Levy's leg with it, wiping the pus away. He did the same over the arch of her eyebrows.

He eventually washed himself too, horrified by the amount of filth that colored the clear water into a disgusting brown. He washed his underwear as best as he could before he put it back. Once he came back in the bedroom, he picked Levy up as delicately as possible, pulled the blanket and threw it over her. He watched her for a while as she coiled up inside in her sleep.

Gajeel hesitated again. He locked the door, and he glared hatefully at the key. Levy was too tired to notice he wanted to lock her up. But he had to be sure she wouldn't leave the room before him. So he placed the key on the closet above the washbasin. Even when he was standing on the tube, he was struggling to reach it. She had no chance to find it there.

Finally reassured and peaceful, he collapsed on the bed and fell asleep right after. The night had fallen again outside.

**X_x**

**So?**

**How do you think the situation will evolve now? Levy's future reaction at Gajeel's decision to keep her as an hostage? Did you catch a little cold?**

**Please review *0***


	16. A good beginning

**Chapter 15: A good beginning?**

**(by Pacifique)**

**HEY! NEW CHAPTER! ...first of all I'm sorry, I wanted to update earlier, but I lost the USB key where I kept all my translations -_-' So I had to translate the whole chapter twice.**

**From now on, the story focuses on the psychological drama, meaning less action and more feeling/talking/reflection...**

**I really hope you'll like it, for reason I'll explain in the end.**

**Thank for all the reviews/favs/follows/critics. Love you all! (from Pacifique and me). *3***

**I only own the translation. Sick, Lorée, Robert, Johan and Mélinda belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belong to Hiro Mashima.**

**x_X**

When he awoke, she was still sleeping very soundly. She looked almost dead, he had to focus on the breathing movement above the sheet to feel relieved. It took a long time to silence the panic, the same panic he'd felt during their whole trip. Had Levy died in exposure or of exhaustion during the night? Was she still crying? How long would she handle this again? He breathed deeply, trying to convince himself not to avail that it was all over. First things first. They needed clean clothes. In a closet there were some additional blankets. He wrapped one of them around himself. It had to be very early. He took some money and left. Levy had been right, weeks ago, when she'd told him he had serious sleeping troubles. He felt tired, exhausted, drained and yet he was unable to go back to sleep. His wrist was throbbing. The hotel was empty, completely empty. Outside it was still night. But he didn't want to wait. So he turned his valid hand into a point to pick the keyhole of a little shop. Once inside he took a bit of all in the dark. He felt a bit stupid when he set the money on the counter, before he locked the door behind him and left with the pile of clothes under his arm. Fortunately his hand came back to its normal shape without a fuss, even if the metal was prickling.

When he came back in the bedroom, he set the clothes on the fireside chair, chose a few ones and got dress, checking out of the corner of his eyes that Levy's eyes were still shut. He took another blanket in the closet and resolved to wait for her to awake, fearing the moment she would understand the situation. She looked so peaceful, as if she had never been scared, as if her hands had never brushed blood, as if she had never cried, never been cold. Strangely, as he watched her sleeping form, he realized it wasn't boring. He almost relaxed at the vision of her calm breath. After a while, without knowing why, he grabbed a second blanket inside the closet. She stirred slightly, certainly due to the noise. He placed the blanket over her, and her little fingers bent above it. He resisted the sudden desire to caress her face, and he laid beside her. This time she didn't flinch. It would take obviously several hours before here eyes open. He didn't care, it just felt good to be here, he felt happy to be alive. He didn't want her to awake and the chaos to awake with her.

**X_x**

When Levy awoke, she thought she had never felt so good in her life. Not to mention the wet underwear. Sheets had never felt so soft before, every cell of her skin was thanking her. Her muscles were painful but she felt safe, she suddenly felt like everything was possible. They had crossed the mountain, they were alive inside an hotel, at Lorée, the most comfortable place in the world. Everything seemed insignificant in comparison to what she just had been through. Now, no more blood, no more cries, no more cold. She moved slowly and opened her eyes. She had very few memories from the day before, she had nearly sunk. She didn't even remember the aspect of the room. She thought it was Gajeel who had washed her, but she had no memory. She smiled, both amused and embarrassed by this idea. The bedroom was built in wood, the wooden bed was creaking gently. Over her body there were, not mentioning the sheets, two thick blankets, a blue one covering the whole bed, and a red one folded in two on her. Once again, she felt truly touched this time as she thought it was obviously Gajeel who had placed them here.

Suddenly everything flown back in her mind, everything she hadn't been able to think about for all this time into the cold and the snow. It had seemed of minor importance for all this time, but now that her life were not at stake anymore, it became immeasurable. She was in love with Gajeel. At the time, she hadn't realized the whole absurdity of the thing. Deep down, it was almost foolish. It was somehow terrifying too. For the umpteenth time, she tried to convince herself she was wrong, for the umpteenth time, those feelings hit her harder and harder. She closed her eyes once more and the dark fell under her eyelids.

She turned in the bed and found herself face to face with the Dragon Slayer. Well actually, her face was almost against his side. He looked deeply in thought, he wasn't moving an inch. He didn't seem to realize she was awake. She held her breath. She wanted to think too, secretly. She found he looked pretty dark for someone who just survive such an disaster. Deep down, he always seemed so dark, it was just his natural look. She took the time to feel sad for him.

Deep down, she eventually thought, it was so contradictory. If she allowed herself to be sad for him, if she allowed herself to want him to live, if she had crossed this mountain to make him avoid the prison and Fairy Tail's punishment, if saving his life was so important for her, if she was able to understand deep inside how he managed to do all these horrible things… why wouldn't she have the right to love him? Why wouldn't it be the step to take? It didn't mean she approved what he'd done. On the contrary, she felt that what she was feeling for him could fight against his darkness. And _not_ loving him, not loving him precisely because he had done bad things would condemn him to do bad thing again. It was admitting his nature was different, that it was impossible for anyone to love him. It was unfair, she didn't want this.

The fear she felt for all this time was replaced by a kind of pride. But deep inside, even if it was so clear in her mind, it was much less easy when she was confronted by the reality. She wasn't ready to tell or do anything. She felt he couldn't understand the meaning of her feelings. He had to believe it didn't exist, that it only existed in the fairy tales for naive children. Yet again… she didn't think Metalicana was the kind of gu... dragon to tell stories to his disciple. She smiled at herself as she imagined the big dragon with a candy pink covered fairy tale book. Just after she thought it wasn't very funny. She would keep this feeling for herself, like a secret weapon. Now that she had survived the mountain, she could do everything.

She also thought about how lucky she was. She was alone with him in the middle of nowhere, she had obviously the chance to be closer to him than anyone else, it was already an excellent beginning. Beside it seemed he wanted to take care of her. He had protected her, up there into the snow. She closed her eyes once more, smiling blissfully, there was no way she'd leave the bed right now.

"Levy?" Gajeel's voice said somewhere above her. Resigned she opened her eyes again. There was in his voice a tension she didn't like. He was right above her, staring at her almost cruelly. Suddenly she remembered how rude Gajeel had been those last days. She hadn't taken the time to wonder why, she had hoped it would be different once they'd get under cover. She wanted to say that the storm was over, that he should celebrate the fact to be alive, but his hard look dissuaded her.

"We need to treat your face and your leg." He stated again. Levy sighed. She was reckoning it could wait. That when she realized that her face was sticky. She placed her hand over the spot and her fingers stained with red before her eyes. Suddenly his eyes bored into hers.

"Stay right here." He ordered.

"Where do you want me to go?" She asked sleepily. Gajeel didn't answer, he left the room and locked the door behind him. Levy didn't wonder why he did. She simply thought it could be a kind of reflex people had when they were frequently alone. She sighed, hoping she would have the time to sleep a little bit more. She felt well, but tired. But he came back only a few minutes after with some black thread and a needle, and a dish towel. He headed at the bathroom where he found the bottle of alcohol. Levy bit her bottom lip.

"Gajeel…" She whispered.

"Don't move." He ordered. He managed to grab the thread but failed to put it in the needle. For a split of second Levy felt relieved. With his frozen iron hand, he'd never manage to do this alone. Little by little she realized how nervous he was. Something was wrong, something she was not aware of. But suddenly he straightened and turned toward her.

"Put the thread in the needle." He almost spat.

"Gajeel… don't you think we'd better… ask for help?" She asked worriedly at the idea to be treated by someone so nervous, and with only a single valid hand left.

"Help? No one is going to help us here." He answered "So put this fucking thread in this fucking needle."

"Gajeel…" She tried again but he glared at her so darkly that her hands moved above the sheets, and started to try to put the thread into the eye of the needle.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her eyes never leaving her task. He didn't answer. When she completed her task, he grabbed it with his valid hand, pressed her face against the pillow with his iron fingers.

"Gajeel…" She tried one last time, but she turned quiet because she had to gritted the teeth. The needle was hurting her, especially since his hand was shaking.

"Fuck" He swore. The needle had deviated and it stuck somewhere into the gash. Levy couldn't hold back a painful scream. That's when the door burst open with such a crash they both thought Erza would appear before them and everything was over. But no, it was the old woman from the day before, brandishing a chair high in the air above her head, looking furious.

"I won't let you torturing someone under my own roof!" She shouted. Levy and Gajeel stared at each other for a moment, unsure of how to react. Fortunately, she was faster than him to recover.

"Actually" She explained in a trembling voice "He's trying to treat me." Their host's face fell in complete surprise too. Confused, she set the chair down.

"I… I used to be a nurse… long time ago." She eventually stammered.

"I think we need you." Levy answered as she did her best to smile at Gajeel. She was proud to see that he was wrong. The people of this town could show enough open-mindedness to help them. But he stayed stone-faced. Without a word, he gave the needle to the old lady who leaned over Levy.

"Oh what a naughty cut." She commented and Levy was happy not to be able to see her own face in a mirror.

"Did you disinfect the needle?" The former nurse asked as she inspected the wound from every angle.

"No." Gajeel answered, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Bad idea… you need to disinfect before and after. Besides this young girl doesn't look very healthy, her immune system might be weakened."

It seemed that Gajeel took the advise as a personal insult.

"Shut up and treat her. Or leave." The old woman almost jumped and Levy was glad she hadn't begun to stitch yet. Once again, the Script mage wondered why he was looking so tense and angry. What was this thing she couldn't see? The cut was disinfected, then the needle, and this time Levy only felt a faint tingle. Indeed, she seemed to have experience.

"And there." She said when it was over. "The stitches will fall by themselves when the wound will heal."

"Her leg had to be taken care of too." Gajeel growled icily. He hadn't moved or said anything else while the stitching.

"Ah… let me see… but where do you come from, child?"

"Mara" Levy answered "We've crossed the mountain."

"The mountain! In this season? But this is pure madness!" Their host exclaimed. Levy removed the sheet, and discovered the wound on her thigh.

"Oh! What in heaven happened to you?"

"It's…" Levy began.

"Shut up" Gajeel cut "It's none of her business." Finally the silence fell. She treated Levy's wound in silence. It took more time, and it hurt Levy, because it required an intensive cleaning of the cut before she stitched it up. She left, and Levy had barely the time to thank her before she rushed outside the room, frightened.

"Why are you like this?" Levy asked in a voice almost broken.

"We have to be careful." Gajeel answered icily. The silence lasted a moment between them.

"Hey…" Levy eventually said softly "It's alright. We are free, now."

"I'm free." Gajeel replied, "You're not."

"What?" Levy stammered. "But… but what do you mean?"

"I'm not an idiot." The Dragon Slayer answered. "For a split of second I thought you did all this for me. But I think I was wrong. I think you're trying to avenge the deaths of your friends. That's why you've accepted to cross the mountain with me."

"Gajeel, you're wrong, I…" She tried as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Shut up. You lied to me. I know it. Even now, your heartbeat is increasing, this is characteristic, I can't be wrong. It doesn't make any sense. Even if you thought I'm worth living, you wouldn't have put your own life at stake for me just in the name of the justice, no one does this kind of thing. From now on, you're going to do exactly what I'll say. And still, now that we are free, you must want to go back to Fairy Tail and leave me alone. I refuse."

Levy had no choice, she nodded. It was logical she thought, she should have suspected it. They had been too close, like a wild horse you approached too closely, he reared to run away from you again. But this time she didn't shed a single tear. It would take the time it'd need, time, they had all the time in the world now, she would eventually manage to convince him. In a way it was almost ironic. It was her love that was chaining him now. It was the lie she had told him. But how could she explained this to him? There would be a moment where she would have the occasion to show him, to make him understand in another way.

"And don't dare run away." He added surly.

"I don't want to go anywhere." She answered "I so tired that the simple idea to go outside worn me out in advance."

"Shut up." He growled again but his voice had lost its harshness. She felt well that the wall he was trying to keep between them would crumbled soon enough. He was nervous, obviously because he was within a ace of trusting her, within only an inch of believing her. He had believed her for a moment, he'd told it himself. It was logical that this idea suddenly terrified him. Trusting someone always meant taking a risque. A risk that hadn't its place in the cold calculations he was making, where neither happiness or warmth were taken into account. In spite of everything, she was nearly hurt.

"I got it" She eventually said "I will do as you say, okay."

"And in return, I won't hurt you." He answered looking down. She felt he wasn't particularly proud of those words.

"It's fine." She whispered again. The young girl in love thought despite of herself that deep down, the reason he was doing this was to keep her by his side. Suddenly the situation didn't seem so terrible anymore.

"You should change. I've found some clothes while you were sleeping." He stated. He threw on the bed a thick pullover and pants picked randomly, then some underwear. Levy struggled under the sheets. The old woman wrapped a thick bandage around her thigh but she was scared to lean on her leg. In fact, she was dealing quite well with the pain. However she felt dizzy, but she was afraid Gajeel would take her weakness for comedy or find an occasion to be mad at her. Bravely, holding door frame she walked toward the bathroom, bringing the clothes with her. She gladly took off her wet underwear to be finally perfectly dry. The pullover was soft and she melted into it as if it was a blanket. Everything was alright, she kept telling herself.

But the dizziness worsened when she opened the door. She lost her balance and he rushed at her. He caught her just before she hit the floor.

"I… don't feel well." She whispered.

"You need to eat something." He answered.

He set her on the bed delicately, as she felt like floating.

"Stay here I'll be back." He ordered again.

"There's no chance I can move anyway." She answered with a kind of laughter in her voice.

Gajeel was surprised. The poor Levy was floating in her own clothes he had taken for her. And yet he was sure he had checked for the smallest seize. She was only skin and bone, she was injured and weak. She was his prisoner, she was at his mercy. And deep down, she didn't seem to take it so badly. On the contrary, it was like she didn't care. He didn't understand. Was he currently falling into the trap she was setting for him in the dark? Or was it about something different?

The old woman glared very darkly at him as he came down. He knew what Levy was obviously thinking, this woman would be ready to help them. But it wasn't true, she would help her, not him. He was afraid she would help her to escape if Levy wanted to. Him, no one was ready to help him, and it was understandable, after all. He sighed.

"She can't come." He said.

She nodded and left. He was about to go back when he heard pieces of shouts behind the swing door.

"We don't know who this girl is!" One of the men he saw the day before was arguing.

"She was injured so I treated her. I wasn't going to let her wounds become infected. _We_ aren't barbarians!"

"Looks like you've forgotten…" The other accused darkly "Mélinda…"

Gajeel's blood froze… he remembered Mélinda. That day they had brought three girls from Lorée. They were barely younger than them. He had to be fifteen or sixteen year old. She was the most beautiful, with her blue eyes, her blond hair, her lovely thin legs, fresh flesh to sum it up. The kind of prostitute Mara hadn't seen for months before they came to Lorée. Robert and Johan were crazy like children, delighted with their prices. The people of the White Town were used to the mafia that had already harassed them years earlier. But it had been the first time they ever saw magic. The houses had been razed. But they had saved one to allow the people to survive in the freezing cold. Johan had stopped him just in time.

"We need them to keep reproducing. Otherwise where would we find our merchandise? Where would we sell our stolen jewels?"

At that time Gajeel was the boss of Mara, because he was the strongest, but Robert had always been the brain of the group. Sometimes he couldn't help but think that Robert had manipulated him from the first day he'd joined them, his mind broken, from the South. He had immediately given his leader seat, without asking anything in return. Obviously the Dragon Slayer was representing a leader more charismatic. But the words put in his mouth had always been more or less Robert's ones.

But Mélinda, the prettiest of them, had been awarded to Gajeel by mutual agreement. He hadn't pondered on the reason any further, while the others were ecstatic. Somehow he had felt this day was special. Johan had nearly smiled, unbelievable! So he had just joined everyone's euphoria. They had driven back to Mara, it took only one day if they followed the train tracks.

When they'd reached the place they had to wrap the victims into some large blankets. The two other girls had given up, but Mélinda had fought. She'd roared insults, swearing she would get revenge. Tears streaming down her cheeks, taking black make-up with them, she hadn't given up yet. But Gajeel was already strong, and since he hadn't wanted to drag her in the snow, her had trapped her in his arms where she'd fought in vain but with such a rage he had been nearly scared.

He'd understood when the two men had locked themselves in their rooms with their respective virgin. For a moment he had been unable to move, astonished, listening right between the two doors as she'd finally stopped fighting, suddenly crushed by despair. There had been heart-rending screams, grunts, sounds of beating, supplications, he was used to it. The idea never had crossed his mind, but here he realized Robert and Johan had been talking about it for a while, implying things. He knew what it meant, what was happening, he had had the time to discover this kind of thing during his journey toward the North. But the idea of experiencing it by himself never had crossed his mind. Obviously he never had the feeling to be concerned by this, to belong to the human species. It was the price to pay when you were the son of a dragon, without a doubt.

He'd thought he still should do it. He had to stay like them, he mustn't be different. So he'd kicked his bedroom door. At that time, he could remember, the headquarter looked like a giant prison and their bedroom were like cells, impersonal, with just a little iron bed and a bedside table.

He had thrown Mélinda on the bed. If she had insulted him, if she had fought, he would have done it. But she had looked so broken, her revolt dead, and she had been staring at him, her eyes empty, her soul gone. She had looked like those ghosts with obscene curves wandering in the foggy cold town below. Without a word, he had left, locking the door behind him to be sure she wouldn't escape, and the groans behind closed doors had grazed his ears, the victims had turned silent.

He realized it now now. He had done multiple horrible things, he had killed and destroyed. But even in his eyes, through the mist clouding his conscience, this act had always seemed incredibly violent. He never had done anything to prevent the others from doing it, in fact, their own actions were none of his business. But he never had been able to cross this extreme limit. He tried in vain to convince himself there was still something to save inside him. But it was useless. It was his true drama deep down. He was bad, but for all this time, he never had been able to be completely rotten. In retrospect, for all this time, without realizing it, he had suffered from the very acts he had to commit. He wasn't good enough to be worth saving, to have the right to walk in the light or to be loved, but he wasn't bad enough to find his happiness in tears, blood and money either.

Inside the kitchen, the debate grew louder, but he didn't understand a word anymore. Finally the old woman came back with a plat filled with steaming food. Gajeel took it without a word and left. He thought all those memories would trigger another crisis, but if his arm were burning, nothing else mattered. Thanks God. Levy was still weak, she might not be able to do anything in her state, if couldn't even stand on her own legs. He banished those thoughts from his mind. He had to think now, remaining focused and not acting hastily. Levy was clever, he had to be careful with her like the plague. Plus he felt it, she was making him soft. He was hoping she would make a wrong blunder, anything. He almost wished she would try to run away. So it could be so easier to scared her, to put her in her place. As long as she did what he wanted, it was hard to build a wall between them.

As soon as Levy smelled the food, she understood how hungry she had been for days, more hungry than she could usually take. But apparently her mind had pushed this sensation aside in order to allow her to sleep and stay alive.

"Don't eat too fast." Gajeel stated, watching her as she threw herself on the plate "You'll be sick if you're not careful enough. Believe me… you don't want to throw up after having had an empty stomach for a while." He had been menacing, but she looked up, almost curious.

"You know it from experience?" She asked with the mouth full.

"Of course. I don't see how I could otherwise." He answered softer than he intended.

She kept watching him, without taking another bite. It barely lasted a few seconds before he snapped.

"What!" He growled as he crossed his arms, leaning against the wall.

"Er… nothing." Levy stammered, wanting to avoid to make him angry at any cost "It's just that… it means you've nearly starved to death at least once. This… this isn't the kind of thing everyone can experiment, you see."

"What do you care?" He asked encore.

"If you want me to heal you" She started carefully "I have to know the different causes you've nearly died from."

Gajeel took a second to ponder on this, the list was rather long. For a moment he wondered if he could trust Levy to heal him. But her method had proven itself until now, at least the massages did. It was logical to conclude that she really wanted to heal him, it was part of her plan, whatever it was, since it was what she'd done until now, he couldn't deny it. It was after this that things would risk to become complicated. But maybe ha could take advantage of the situation after all. Anyway, he didn't see why she could take advantage of the list of the dangers he had survived. In his mind, it was strengths he was stating, not weaknesses.

"I nearly starved to death twice I think. I'm not sure, but I guess I nearly died from lack of sleep. I nearly drown, when I've learned swimming. I nearly died of thirst when I lost myself in a desert, I nearly died from wounds… twice or three times, counting one when I was a Phantom. And I…"

He wanted to add he had almost died hen he'd fallen into a pit of lava. But a kind of vertigo clawed at him, for a second the blue crushing sky flashed before him.

"I think that's all." He concluded. But Levy still didn't eat again. On the contrary she was even more shocked than before he stated this list.

"What now?" He asked lowering his eyes despite himself.

"You're stating those facts so casually…" She whispered before taking finally another bite "Do you realize how terrible it is?"

"What do you mean terrible?" He replied "It was part of my training. That's why I'm strong now."

This time Levy looked down. How could he be so proud of such a thing? For her it made no sense. She felt deeply sorry for him who had gone through all those things she didn't want to think about. But above all she felt sorry for him because he was unaware of the existence of any other softer life, a life where everyday wasn't necessarily a fight. She was gradually understanding that the amount of Gajeel's suffering she was currently aware of was only the surface of the Iceberg.

"Ah yeah…" He added "I've slipped off Fairy Tail roof, during my mission about Litanie."

"You've slipped off Fairy Tail roof?" Levy choked. That meant Gajeel had free fallen from six storey, it wasn't negligible indeed.

"And… didn't it hurt you?" The little Script mage asked.

"What do you take me for, I'm not made of sugar." He boasted. He didn't want to talk about the way he had fallen, how Lena had given him his unmoving legs back. Falling from six storey with his carapace wasn't a problem, but with his defective magic… he didn't ant to talk about it. It was out of question to pronounce the word "crisis" out loud, even if Levy knew what happened to him.

The Script mage eventually ate in silence under his gaze. She knew he was lying. He wouldn't have mentioned the roof of Fairy Tail if it hadn't leaded to a serious injury, which had probably been treated by Lena. Worst of all, Levy was realizing how negligent Makarov had been. She knew they had been meeting up there for the reports, Makarov told her, she didn't know why he did anymore. Gajeel had slipped off the roof, he had crashed in front of their door. And Makarov hadn't lifted a finger to help him. For the sake of the mission he had been forced to. He had been forced to because of the Council and the pressure, but still… Au fond, the master never had considered Gajeel as one of them, if he had he would have defended him in spite of everyone, if he had he would have believed him. He had let him join them in order to keep an eye on him. He had somehow lied to him. Makarov never had trusted Gajeel. No one in Fairy Tail never did. Save for her. When she thought about it, she felt tears prickling her eyes. And her determination was growing. Along with her love.

**X_x**

***0* Now I can tell it: Levy is my hero!**

**I really hope you've liked this chapter because it was very special for me. For some reasons it made me want to believe in fairy tales again. Not the kind of disney-like or lovey-dovey fairy tales, I'm talking about realistic fairy tales (I don't know how to explain, this is something you must feel). The kind of REAL fairy tales that can happen in real life and make the dirtiest world pretty.**

**Please review, no matter if you agree with me or not, Pacifique likes different points of view. See you soon! (the next chapter will come at the end of the week. ...maybe if you're nice XD)**


	17. Talking

**Chapter 16: Talking**

**Good evening/morning!**

**Honestly I have nothing special to say, so I let you enjoy this chapter. Just thanks to Piranha pk for her review! I love you!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique, Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**X_x**

Levy had finished eating silently, seemed deep in thoughts. Then she had fallen asleep again and he almost felt angry at her. He had the impression she was running away, without knowing why. He couldn't leave the room, outside he had nothing to do. He couldn't go back to sleep either: sleeping during the day, with the light, was unthinkable for him. So he sat on the fireside chair and waited nervously for her to end her siesta. Twice, he had to retrain himself not to awake her. But he still remembered she had to rest, she wasn't like him, she couldn't endure the conditions deplorable for too long.

Meanwhile, he considered what he'd just told her. It was Metalicana who had the habit to starve him or prevent him from sleeping. Then he'd realized it was meaningless: without sleep, without food, it was impossible to be strong. By the way, when he thought about it, Natsu and Wendy were eating normal meals without mentioning their magical food. He had never given himself this pleasure. He had the impression it would make him weak and lazy. Now he was realizing he was maybe wrong to think this way.

He had almost drowned while trying to reach the North after this. In retrospect, it was the education of the big dragon which had pushed him to act so stupidly. When he'd learned to walk, speak, fight, he'd done it all alone. He had simply faced the difficulty, without thinking. He'd done the same with the water when he'd seen this river on his way… big mistake. His body covered in metal was heavy, he had learned to swim much later, but it was still more complicated for him than for most of people. By chance this day, an angler had spotted him and saved him. He had been so ashamed he had nearly killed the poor man, to be sure he wouldn't tell anyone about his misadventure. And then he recognized he still had saved his life. He'd nearly die of thirst just after Igneel had taken him out of the crater. In retrospect he told himself that Igneel mustn't have realized the situation. If he had, he would have let him die. Gajeel hadn't understood, nor realized that the place where the fire Dragon and Natsu were living was vast. He had come there by the airs on Metalicana's back. But he had to leave alone, walking under the warmth. He didn't truly remember much about this episode. When he thought about it, he felt just fear clawing at his stomach.

Then, nearly dying had become a habit. So he had learned to keep his cool in any circumstance. He had resolved to never ask for help, not even from his Guild members. He had stood alone every time, after a defeat.

But while he was thinking about it, he was seeing Levy's reaction under his eyelids. Had she ever almost died? Had she ever been forced to fight? Had she ever been left alone in a disastrous situation with only her courage? No, she had always benefit, at least in thought, from the support of her friends, her family, Fairy Tail. Suddenly, he felt rage clawing at him.

But just at the moment Levy's eyes flitted open once more.

"About time." He scoffed.

She simply yawned. He thought she would scowl but instead of this she smiled at him.

"I feel better." She said, and stretched. For an hostage, she seemed particularly peaceful and happy. He preferred not to pondered on the question.

He remained silent, watching her. He wondered when she would decide to leave the bed. But now that he thought about it, he didn't know what they were supposed to do now. Fortunately she had an idea.

"Well" She eventually said "I'm going to heal you seriously now. Lay down." He had resolved to trust her, but it was still hard.

"Your pullover... take it off…" She began and looked down. This sudden shyness showed once again she was hiding something, but he had no other choice. Her breath died into her throat when he removed it. Her heart stopped beating.

"You had… a seizure the day before…" She stammered. Horrified, she stared at his arm, frozen by the magic, up to the shoulder, the metal eating the flesh on his pectoral like a starving octopus.

"Yes, as usual." He answered, faking complete disinterest. But she didn't react.

"When did you intend to tell me? It almost reached the heart! You could have died, you can die in the next second if I…" And she stopped talking abruptly and started to work, almost with fierceness. He rolled his eyes to heavens and sighed as if she was worrying about nothing. But he truly had been frightened. He was still scared now, when he felt the rigid metal so close of his precious vital organ. Death, it was the ultimate weakness, it was what he feared the most. Finally he closed his eyes, because he couldn't watch her hurt face and her terrorized expression anymore. The tentacles gradually backed away, it needed time. Her hands didn't simply roll over his skin as usual, she dug her fingers deep into his flesh, to the point that sometimes he was out of breath.

"Sorry" She apologized weakly "I'm forced to do this."

He didn't answer and gritted his teeth. He was suddenly discovering new places in his own body he didn't know existed. Finally Levy sit up straight above him.

"Inspire deeply." She ordered. He obeyed trying not to feel the little metal sheet inlaid into his lung. He waited, holding his breath, for something to happen.

"Expire" Levy said and she took him by surprise in the middle of his expiration as she pressed suddenly her hands against his heart. She had to do it several times.

"Roll on your back." She continued. He hesitated for a split of second, but the massage of his back was less aggressive, then finally, still as focused as ever, she attacked his arm without a word. Secretly, in silence, he was continually praying for her to win another inch. He knew that what she couldn't bring back might be lost forever. Stuck in despair because of his helplessness, unable to help her to fight it, he was watching her thumbs trying to knead the metal again and again, his brows furrowed. He wanted to struggle, to scream at her, but it would be useless. She reached his elbow, progressed on a few more inches and stopped here. It was over, no more wrist, no more fingers, no more forearm.

"Did you vomit a lot?" Levy asked tonelessly when she finally resolved to lay at his side.

"Quite a lot, yes…" He answered through clenched teeth.

"More than usually?" She asked again.

"I think so."

They remained silent. She was frozen, watching his hand she couldn't save, he was desperate to see his ordeal end someday.

"Am I out of trouble?" He asked after a moment.

"For now you are…" Levy whispered, staring at the ceiling. "But I need to know what happened."

"What happened?" Gajeel repeated not believing his ears. He straightened. After all she was his hostage, it wasn't very safe to lay beside her like this. He sat on the same fireside chair where he had wait for her to awake.

"The seizures don't strike randomly Gajeel, I've already told you. Well… logically you are subjected to one seizure per day, often during the morning, but there it happened during the evening, and more importantly it was stronger. There have to be a reason. Something you were told, something happened."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He answered crossing his arms over his chest. She sighed, sitting on the bed.

"Gajeel…" She tried.

"What? Do you really think I'm going to spill the beans like that? You're my hostage, don't forget it." He lost his temper.

"I know…" Levy answered and looked down, and he regretted his words. It was so complicated to be harsh with her, It was more complicated with her than anyone else. It was complicated because she looked helpless, with no resources, no weapon to defend herself. In fact, she could run away, denounce him – where would she go, this poor little thing? Without Fairy Tail to support her, she was nothing. At least it was the impression she was giving, but she was formidably clever, so clever he'd nearly trusted her.

"You know what…" She said suddenly, looking up at him once more. "You want to talk about it so we're going to talk about it." Speaking of the devil, she had something in mind at the moment. He had to be wary, to choose his words with care. Levy was bringing him on her special field, the words, the language. He had very few weapon to protect himself there.

"What makes you think I wanted to leave you behind?" She continued "Why do you think I wanted to go back to Fairy Tail when you're still sick, when I've moved heaven and earth to heal you until now?"

He took a minute to think about it. Indeed he couldn't deny she was telling the truth this time. But even so the lie she told him was still fresh in his mind. The more the time was passing, the more he had the feeling it was about something very important, inescapable.

"You lied to me. You're hiding something from me." He answered, but it was his turn to look down.

Levy sighed, he heard her heart pounding faster, it was the reaction of someone about to reveal a difficult truth.

"Yes, you're right. I'm hiding something from you." She confessed. "But I swear you have nothing to fear. I mean no harm."

"Tell me." He asked again. He'd stood and was pacing back and forth before the bed she was sitting on. Levy sighed one more time.

"I think you wouldn't understand… or… you wouldn't believe me… and this isn't the kind of thing you can say under duress. But I don't want to hurt you."

"I can't take you word for it." He answered stopping suddenly, frozen before the door.

Levy considered it for a moment. Of course, she understood. He couldn't really believe her, he couldn't believe anyone.

"Okay…" She whispered "In any case you believe me when I tell you I want to heal you…"

"Yes. Otherwise you wouldn't have crossed the mountain." Levy was happy he was at least aware of that. It would make the difference, she didn't care about the rest.

"I think you're planning to do something about me after." He continued. She thought with humor he was right somehow.

"It doesn't matter." She answered, now feeling relieved. "You can lock me here, force me to stay and consider me as your hostage if you want. I don't care. I don't plan to run away, if it can reassure you to lock the door, to keep an eye on me, it doesn't matter. As long as you don't hurt me, I will do exactly as you say. But if you want to heal, you'll have to talk with me, the massages won't be enough, I can't hypnotize you without being sure to make something horrible go back to the surface. I know you don't like the idea to entrust your weaknesses to somebody. But if you don't do it soon, you're going to… you're going… you're not going to last long. What could I do with what you'll tell me? Nothing. You have the upper hand. We are in the middle of nowhere, I can't contact anyone."

Gajeel weighted up the pros and the cons for a moment.

"Who told me you're not going to use those information against me, after all?" He asked very seriously. Levy seemed to think very intensively.

"Because I don't care about the technical details, Gajeel. You're not forced to tell me about your fighting weakness. What I'm interest in is your personal experience, your story. All you'll manage to tell me, no one could use it against you, never."

There was another silence.

"What if you use it against me, now?" He asked encore. There was no animosity nor anger in his voice, just his cold reflection.

"If I do you won't feel better. You recognized that I really want to heal you, you believe me about it."

"Fine." He finally surrender. "But I don't know how to go about it." Levy smiled, and nearly laughed.

"I believe you." She conceded. For her, she had won. Now things could only get better. "Everything leads to my previous question… what happened the last evening?"

Gajeel crossed his hands behind his head. What kind of answer was he supposed to give to this kind of question? What were they supposed to talk about exactly for him to feel better? Instead of thinking, he decided to say the first thing that crossed his mind. By trial and error he'd eventually understand what she was expecting from him.

"Just before, I've thought it was the first time I said thanks." He grumbled through his teeth.

It didn't seem it was something very intimate, or shameful, but Levy took her time to answer. And during this long silence he felt a kind of pernicious malaise growing inside him. The way she remained silent made this sensation even worse.

"And who did you say thanks to?" She asked. From her part, Levy was surprised indeed, she couldn't imagine Gajeel saying thanks to anyone. Not at all.

"It was like this…" He answered "Why does it matter so much? Someone had just given me a bottle of alcohol for your wounds."

There was another silence, but before Levy could say anything he asked:

"What?" He sounded nervous. He stood once more and began to pace through the room.

"Nothing, nothing…" Levy answered sightly disoriented "I'm thinking."

"What are you thinking about?" He asked threateningly.

"About what it could mean."

"How so?" He asked again as he turned around for the third times.

"I don't know… it's new for me as well. Plus the books had been left at Mara… I told myself that saying thanks to those gens, even for something simple, can't be easy." She eventually explained.

"Why?" He asked surprisingly, staring at her once more. Indeed he didn't really see why it was so complicated to utter a simple word.

"What I mean… is… those people are victims of Mara… they were on the other side. And now you tell them thanks… worse, you never thanked anyone before.»

"I don't get it…" Gajeel concluded.

"I'm not sure to get it myself." Levy answered. There was another silence. Actually she knew very well where she had to lead him. But she couldn't explain to Gajeel that he obviously felt guilty, and that this emotion was the main cause of his sickness, she couldn't, it would be the same as accusing him. He had to find the answer by himself. For a split of second she was stunned he hadn't scented the lie through her heartbeats. But apparently he was distract. He obviously told less than he thought. She just needed a bit of patience.

"Do you think about something that could…"

"No." He cut.

A lot of patience, Levy corrected inwardly. She told herself she had attacked too directly. Time was upon them. She wanted to finally ask him what he was seeing during his seizures, what was the memory connected to them. He would refuse to answer, she knew it. And even if he wanted to, he certainly wouldn't be able to voice it. So she searched for something to say.

"And…" She eventually added. "Metalicana didn't teach you to say thanks?"

"No." Gajeel explained very calmly. "Thanking someone, I mean saying thanks seriously is a form of weakness."

"Ah?" Levy stated hoping he would talk more. She told herself she should have expected it, of course. In the struggling world of fight and war, 'thanks' was meaningless.

"Yeah. If you say thanks to someone, it means that you owe something to him, that you hadn't been able to find what you needed by yourself, but it also means you are indebted. If you say thanks to someone, I mean for a good reason of course, this person takes some ascendency over you, and could use it against you later."

Once more he was pacing back and forth. His words made him nervous, she could feel it.

"I guess words like 'I'm sorry' or 'Give me a chance' or even 'I don't feel well' are also banned from vocabulary." Levy commented.

He shrugged in a weird way.

"You understand quickly."

"To sum it up, all that connected people between them was forbidden so you wouldn't have any good relationship in the future. If I got it, Metalicana's goal was to isolate you. He wanted you to manage on your own, without any kind of help?" The Script mage asked again. Deep inside her, she took a second to realize how sad he life had been.

"Exactly." He answered.

"And with Fairy Tail, this is exactly the contrary. Deep down it's rather logical it was hard for you to become integrated." She added, wondering if he would get mad again.

"That's right... but still... when he's gone, I quickly understood he was wrong. When you're alone, you can't do a lot. Even if you become very powerful. It's always good to have a few business relationship. At Mara, tasks were shared between people; at Phantom Lord, the prestige of the Guild allowed me to get some job, even if for this I had to dance to the master's tune. But at Fairy Tail, this isn't the same. At Fairy Tail, you have to be here completely otherwise you're not a member. And it annoyed me."

"Why?" Levy asked, feeling now he was so deep in thoughts he wouldn't mind answering.

"At first, I've played the game. Natsu had just beaten the shit outta me – remember? Logically, I'm stronger than him, I mean technically, and at least I think before I act, I'm a strategist. But this moron's beaten me. So of course I've started doubting, wondering why. Juvia told me she wanted to join Fairy Tail… at first I thought she was crazy, but she told me we would be happy there… I didn't understand why she believed this, but I went with her. I told myself there would be something more. At Fairy Tail, I understood, we can have relationships… I mean, normal relationships. Juvia kept harping on to me about this, something about me and her missing an important thing in life or I don't know what."

He paused, and Levy congratulated herself not to intervene when the next words came.

"And I had left Mara behind me, and I didn't want to go back in the North. Phantom Lord was destroyed and I was wondering where I should go. Seriously. I thought I could find a few contacts to try to become a hit man. But I didn't really want to do that again. I wasn't very proud of it. And then Makarov came with his smooth talk. At the time I believed him, very seriously. I told myself Juvia was right, we would have a family, finally. For her it worked and not for me. See, that's what I told you when we were at Mara. Mutual assistance, love and all, this isn't bullshit, Metalicana was wrong about it. But he was right to teach me how to live on my own, because this is not for people like me."

"The people like you…" Levy pondered as the emotion gathered in her throat.

"Yeah… the monsters… well… if you fucked things up from the beginning, it's over, you see. Well, fucked up… I did more than that, I give it to you. Clearly I did more than fucking up… I've… I don't know."

"You were all alone, weren't you? When you were a kid? How did you do when Metalicana disappeared?" Levy asked again, struggling to keep her composure. It was thousand times worse that she expected. Actually, with his illness, he was pulling through this quite well.

"I don't think Metalicana _disappeared_. He must simply have gone home, _his_ home, I don't know where…"

"Why?" Levy asked, more and more surprised…

"Because I screwed up. He wanted me to win a fight and I lost." Gajeel held his breath. Don't say more, he mustn't say more. But suddenly the words were fighting inside his head, words about those images, this deserted landscape, words about screams, and the little Natsu holding Igneel's paw with his little hands. Words about his failure, his abandonment.

"But how old were you?" She asked again, feeling that any other question was dangerous. Something had broken in his voice. This fight had let scars, it wasn't the good time to speak about it, not yet.

"I think it was the same day Igneel disappeared. We were kids… I'm not very older than Natsu I guess…"

"And after, where did you go? How did you to Mara?"

"I don't really know…" He lied. "I think I've heard about it."

There was a silence, Levy tried in vain to say something, her panicked mind frozen. After all this time she had wanted Gajeel to talk, she finally succeed. Now, she wanted him to be quiet. She hadn't expected this, she never had been aware such terrible way to think existed in the world... she couldn't help but try to cheer him up.

"Don't you think we could have wanted you eventually, at Fairy Tail?"

He had a strange chuckle which said nothing good.

"No… I don't think so, no. When I realized no one trusted me, that Juvia had found what she was looking for and that I've remained stuck in my corner… well, even if he tried to act like a clown in costume with a guitar… I told myself I was still going to stay, living here, amongst the Fairies, I'd have the impression to live, what. And then Makarov gave me this mission. He took everything from me. Everyone thought I betrayed Fairy Tail."

"It must have been hard for you..." Levy whispered.

"Hard, yeah…" Gajeel answered, suddenly stopped in front of the window and stared at the white emptiness and the mountain. Suddenly, he realized that in spite of everything he felt better since the beginning of the conversation. For the first time, he had admitted that something had been hard for him. He thought he'd feel idiot, that he would curse himself just after having confirmed what Levy was suggesting. He knew now how she intended to heal him. No way he turned back now.

"Well… I asked for it. It's not as if I were an altar boy."

She couldn't let him say that. So what, what was this world where we hampered the ones who wanted to change, to move on? Refusing the second chance, refusing forgiveness, meant building a frontier between the good and the bad ones… a meaningless frontier, considering the life he had. But he went on before she could add anything.

"I've destroyed the headquarter, it'd amused me a lot. The tree was Jose's idea. I wasn't ecstatic at the moment, but I don't know why he wanted me amongst the others. He said I was charismatic. I didn't really get it… whatever. After I told myself 'Damn, I must pin a girl to a tree. At least Magnolia's weather is pretty…'"

"What's the connection?" Levy asked almost in spite of herself.

"I didn't want to think about Mara anymore. I wasn't proud of what I've done there at that time. And some things I've seen too… well… I wanted to forget. But at the moment, I remembered I loved it too somehow, beating the crap out people, the weaker than me. When you do that since you're a kid, you're happy to… come back to the sources, somehow."

Gajeel turned around abruptly as Levy was about to open her mouth.

"Fuck, I shouldn't say that… I mean… you are the one I pinned to the tree… and I'm just saying it amused me... it's just… horrible."

"I think if it hadn't amused you… you couldn't have done it." Levy merely answered. He was truly stunned she seemed to take it as something normal, as if it happened a long time ago, at another time, with other people. It was maybe this that could heal him, this kind of hindsight she had over the events.

"What do you mean?" He asked in surprise.

"If it hadn't amused you, you would have been disgusted… You'd have remembered those things you've done in Mara, the things you didn't want to do anymore, right?" An unsure Levy developed.

"That's the point, I've acted like an ass. If I had said fuck to Jose, all this shit wouldn't have happened."

"He would have sent someone else…" Levy sighed. It took more than Gajeel to stop Lucy's father when he wanted to get his daughter back.

"Yeah… of course, but still. And then it matched my profile, I've told myself that deep down what difference does it make? Wherever I go, people ordered me to do that, so fuck this, why not enjoy myself? And I've massacred Lucy, literally. Believe me you were lucky to be unconscious before I was done with you. And she's stood up to me with Fairy Tail and all, with her speech about trust and the whole kit and caboodle. I was beyond furious."

"You were jealous." Levy abruptly interrupted.

"Something like that, yeah…"

Finally Gajeel eventually sat on the bed, almost breathless.

"Am I currently doing what you want from me?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes… exactly." Levy answered as she remained laying, her eyes riveted on the ceiling.

"This is boring." He commented as he laid in turn.

She understood it was enough for now. Maybe it was even too much.

"I'm going out. Move and you're dead."

"I'm going nowhere." Levy answered calmly, slightly disconcerted in spite of all. The next second, he disappeared. The cold did him good, calmed his boiling mind. Suddenly he felt an overwhelming want to cry. He stopped walking, the time to regain his composure, and resumed his walk toward he didn't know where. He let the white vision consume everything else, the biting cold freeze his thoughts. On the snow were drawing screams, tearful faces, the girls from Mara, dispossessed of their dignity, wandering, frozen, shivering in their fishnet stockings, their skin naked. Johan's smile, Robert's greed, Jose's horrible pragmatism. He had told Levy he regretted the person he was at Phantom Lord. But at that time, he wouldn't have told it to anyone, he'd never told himself, he'd merely contented himself to be execrable in hope they'd leave him alone and no one would approach him, to be sure he wouldn't have to lie.

He stopped walking once again, he was far from Lorée, lost into the whiteness. Sat into the snow, he tried to count. How many, how many of those people had lost their lives by his hand. The first ones had been opponents of Mara mafia. The first one, he had crushed his skull in their building hall, for the cause. But Johan and Robert didn't care if there were opponents or not. They needed an enemy to fight, whatever it was. So they were manhandling everyone, including their partners, and sometimes, well often, it was getting out of control. And sometimes, they had to kill a few handymen, just to scare the others. Should he count the injured ones? Should he count the broken lives? The raped girls he had captured for his friends? At Phantom Lord, he didn't kill anymore, but he had injured, tortured, it was his new routine, his method of work, implacable, more effective than all the others.

The worst was this massacre. This massacre at Kouria. He could have avoided it, if only he had listened to Levy.

He wanted to die. He preferred thousand times a seizure compared to the feeling that consumed him right now. He wandered aimlessly in the snow, to fool the pain. When the cold began to hurt him, as he esteemed he'd suffered enough, he eventually came back.

Levy had washed herself, changed clothes and fallen asleep when he went back. He laid beside her without a word. He didn't notice he hadn't eaten anything since they had reached Lorée. The cold and the distress of his body had calmed the images. So he fell asleep too, like an inert mass, as if he was dead.

**X_x**

**So?**

**The author wonders if Gajeel isn't too OOC here, as he finally let it out. What do you think?  
What about Levy's reactions? What would you do in her place? (I, I don't know myself, I just know I'd have screw up ^^')**

**Please review, you'd be nice *0***


	18. Room 46, second floor basement

**Chapter 17: Room 46, second floor basement**

**MOUAHAHAHAHAHA! … this is a mere warning. (for those who watch Bleach, just imagine Rukia's face in the episode 10 when she does the BWAHAHAHA scene. I have the same face ^v^)**

**When the chapter was update in french, Pacifique told us "I've been very cruel with you" *shudder*. To be more precise, this chapter contains mention of rape (and a cliffhanger ^w^). Now you have been warned (P: Stop spoiling my story!)**

**Now I'd like to address a special thanks to Piranha pk for the drawing about this story she'd made! When I saw it I jumped and squee in the whole house (and yes, Pacifique did the same ^^). Thank you so much, I love you!**

**For the others, thank you for still following the story, review or not. I'm tired of asking for review at every chapter, so do whatever you want. All that matters is that you enjoy the story after all. So thank you too! (P: ...but I want to know what the readers are thinking when they're reading! That's why I put a cliffhanger! TT_TT).**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique, Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima.**

**x_X**

When Levy awoke the next morning, he was still asleep, in a deep heavy sleep. His exhaustion was certainly due to the emotions he had to face. That meant things were progressing. She came to wonder how long Gajeel hadn't slept, as the sun rose high in the sky. She remained under the sheets for a while. She took the time to realize fully one more time that they were still alive, that Gajeel's teeth weren't gritted and that finally things seemed to work in their favor. The last night, he must have felt horrible, certainly like he never had, but at least there had been no seizure, his life wasn't put in danger. For now.

As for her own safety, as long as she did what he wanted, nothing bad would happen. Finally she stood as slowly as she could and eventually slipped away in the bathroom, eager to take a hot bath. The noise from the water didn't awoke Gajeel, nor did the rays of the sun. She smiled for a moment at the blue sky behind the window, before she slipped into the warm water, careful to keep a thick bubble layer at the surface. She sighed in delight and closed her eyes, savoring the growing happiness she felt.

Levy, somehow, was happier than ever. Finally she had the impression to do something good, something useful, something that made sense. She wasn't the weak one anymore, the one you had to protect, she was the one who could save a life, help a comrade to face his life, and not the contrary. She was proud, really, of what she was doing.

"Your bandages." It was the first words Gajeel spoke. She hadn't even heard him open the door.

"Blimey…" Levy whispered. "I forgot about them."

"Come on, get out of the bath." He growled "I'll search for the old hag, hoping she won't run away."

As excepted, Gajeel was in a bad mood. Everything was more or less getting back to normal. As soon as she heard the door close, Levy stood as best as she could without putting too much weight over her injured leg, dried herself, took a few clean clothes set on the armchair and waited, sitting patiently, for Gajeel to come back.

But suddenly she heard a creak. The bedroom door half-opened on the corridor. And Levy watched this improbable opening, taken aback. Why hadn't Gajeel locked the door when he left, when it seemed so important for him? Actually, he hadn't threatened her either. This was certainly a wonderful morning. Of course she wouldn't leave the room. He was probably testing her, if she put a toe outside he would certainly fall on her. After all, she felt weak, she didn't want to go downstairs. So she merely laid peacefully.

And then she was panic-stricken. What if someone was in the room? It was small, so there weren't a lot of hiding places, but she still stood to check if someone had slipped into the bathroom, or behind the laundry cupboard door that was open.

Nothing.

And yet, she felt a presence, as if there were eyes over her.

"She isn't coming." A voice rang suddenly.

"Fuck, you're such an ass." Someone else answered.

Levy's blood froze. Someone was in the corridor, someone who was watching her. She prayed with all her strengths that this person hadn't seen her naked.

"Is someone here?" She asked.

"Yeah, someone's here." The first voice answered. Levy took her courage in both hands and opened the door fully.

"What do you want?" She asked, unsure. Two men were facing her. She remembered the first one, she had seen him the day they arrived. He seemed old but rather strong too. The other one was far younger, but he was taller, and seemed to be a simpleton. Without understanding why, Levy was scared of them.

"Don't you want to run away?" The first man asked.

"No" The young Script mage answered firmly "I'm here of my own free will."

"Do you only know who you're dealing with?" The older one asked again.

"Yes…" Levy answered lowering her eyes "I know. But this is a bygone age now."

"Who are you for him?" The same man demanded while the other was staring at her, a sly grin plastered on his face, so she could deduce that yes, he had seen her naked. Feeling the panic overwhelming her, Levy wondered where the heck Gajeel was.

"Er… I think I can say I'm his friend…" Levy answered searching the corridor above the bodies blocking her view.

"Perfect…" The man answered as his smirk grew. The other chuckled. And then, Levy was violently hit on the back of her head.

**x_X**

Gajeel had gone downstairs to search for the old woman, he'd waited for her at the reception, he'd even barged into the kitchen, manhandling the commis chef. Since he was awake, he felt truly horrible. He was feeling horrible because he'd slept, he'd slept soundly, like an innocent child.

But he wasn't an innocent child. How was it possible to sleep so peacefully just after he'd agonized about all those terrible things, after he'd counted the dead by his hands, when he was aware of what he was? He had promised himself this night, he wouldn't sleep at all, even if it wasn't logical. He wanted to bang his head against the walls, to tear his own fingers, but as always, he was keeping his composure.

He had to find the old woman, solve the problem, treat Levy again. He, they didn't care about him.

She turned pale when she saw him. He told himself it wasn't good. Just after this, he told himself it was only an old habit, or because he deserved that things go wrong. He banished those thoughts as best as he could. But as he struggled to, he was realizing how awful he felt, how disgusted by the events he was.

"Can I… do something for you?" She asked, her voice slightly shaking.

"Yes" He answered and she almost jumped "Levy took a bath, she forgot about her bandages. She needs some others. I'll pay if you want."

"I… er… it won't be necessary. I just need to take the equipment." She left the hotel counter, a hand behind her back, walking very slowly. Gajeel did his best to contain his exasperation and restrain himself to give her a violent kick to make her walk faster. He couldn't help it. Levy was up there, alone, he couldn't help but imagine that she was currently trying to escape, certainly. Maybe she was picking the keyhole? Maybe she was passing through the window tying the blankets to each others? He considered he should have demanded a room at the top floor and not so close of the ground. He felt like he was trying to hold back some water with his fingers. He knew in his guts what disaster it would be if Levy would disappear now. And the more he realized he needed her more than ever, the more he was picturing her trying to run away. Gajeel wasn't used to have what he needed.

The old lady eventually reached a small closet. With difficulty, she turned the light on while he didn't know where to go anymore, nervous.

"Where are those damn bandages…" She muttered. That's when he realized she was playing with him. He could see them in a small iron box, there, just before her. She was completely ignoring them.

"They're right here." He said holding the box. She turned around, too swiftly for such an old woman.

"Ah, thanks." She said avoiding his eyes. She searched in the closet again.

"Well, what now?" Gajeel began, feeling he couldn't stand more of it.

"Please be patient. She won't fly away, anyway."

It was the last straw, the thing that shouldn't be said. He gripped her throat with his valid hand, lifting her above the ground. Why was he still doing this? Couldn't he do anything else?

"Tell me what's going on." He demanded, his red eyes boring into hers.

"But nothing… nothing…" She stammered despite the lack of air.

"Don't mess with me." He spat, pinning her against the wall; a bottle dropped and shattered on the floor, the utensils spread as the poor woman's back hit the shelf.

"They're going to… they want revenge…" She eventually choked.

"Who?" He asked tightening his hold.

"My husband and my son… they... they're going to unlock the door with their master-key and wait for her to come out… when… when she'll be out they'll knock her off and bring her somewhere."

"Where?" Gajeel asked again, feeling the sudden panic burning his veins.

"I don't know, I swear I don't know. They just asked me to distract you to give they the time to open the door."

Gajeel let her go, mad with rage, anger and fear. He watched her coughing and struggling, miserable on the floor, in the middle of shattered glass and metallic items. He wanted to kill her, he wanted with his whole soul. But he didn't. He couldn't do that again, it was over, he couldn't take revenge or defend himself anymore, not against those people, not against Levy. He was their slave. He wanted to go but the old woman talked again through her panting.

"I helped them because I knew they would fail. They think this young girl is your slave. If she doesn't leave the room, she is safe. They won't dare enter. They believe you bristled it with magical traps. They are idiots… I beg you… spare them."

Gajeel ran, not bothering to reply. Finally he would get an answer. Was Levy loyal to him? Did she care about him? Care enough not to make him angry, not to scare him? If she did, she would be still in this fucking room, if she didn't, she wouldn't be there. Things were simple, for once. He'd be clear in his own mind.

He didn't know what he was hoping anymore. He didn't want to see what could happen if she was still there, he didn't want to consider what could happen if she had the bad idea to run away either. There was just one thing he wanted, he wanted to know, to stop doubting.

When he arrived, the door was wide open. The room was empty.

Mad with rage, blinded, he grabbed the bed and threw it against the closet. The two pieces of furniture smashed, the window panes broke and the freezing air seeped through the silence. He was going to find her, and she was going to pay, the were all going to pay for this betrayal. Well… he hoped he could do it.

He looked through the window. There was no traces in the snow, not a single noise, not a breath of air. They hadn't left the hotel yet. As his rage kept boiling, he passed through the window, nearly falling because of his rigid arm which couldn't grab anything, and rushed downstairs while his heart was pounding in his temples. They would pay, all of them would pay.

Ans then, he froze in the hall.

They were stupid, complete idiots, they had brought her to the hotel basement of course, it was so simple. He rushed into the stairs. Downstairs, the air was icy, everything was gray, like the corridors of Mara headquarter. His breath was creating a thick white steam before him. Standing between the doors, he paused. The place was far vaster he'd thought initially. For a moment, he wondered if Lorée hadn't its own mafia too. But little by little, as he kept walking, he realized it was the former hotel. To tell the truth, there were three entire basements, a real maze of tunnels, dug hazardously in the rock. He had heard about it. He knew that long time ago, Lorée had been an underground city. Under the surface, the people were protected against the wind, sometimes so violent it could blow any building. Then someone had had the idea to build those round white egg-shaped edifices, hidden in the snow.

"Fuck." Gajeel cursed. They weren't so stupid in fact. Standing still, he pricked up his ears.

**x_X**

Levy awoke in the dark. She groaned, her head was hurting her. She thought she would be alright, what a disillusion. Why did people always try to hurt each others? She was sick of this. Gajeel had hurt the people of Lorée, who wanted to get revenge, and Gajeel would want to get revenge in turn and so on: an eternal vicious cycle. Suddenly, prisoner in this wet basement-like place, she doubted she could do anything to stop this madness.

"She's awake." The old man's voice rang. The other chuckled darkly, speaking volumes for himself.

"Do whatever you want with her, just don't forget to hurt her. I want him to see…" A brusque rush of fright ran through Levy's body, she straightened and threw herself against the first wall she found, curled into a ball, unable to think.

This time, there was no one to watch over her, to dissuade the torturers of this cold country to abuse her. She'd have given everything to see the faces of her beloved guild-mates under her eyelids, but the panic emptied her mind to the point she couldn't see anything. Curled against the wall, feeling so tiny, the only thing she could think about was that Gajeel would come. He was going to come. Soon. She was counting in her head, more desperate with each passing second, seeing the door appear gradually before her eyes as they got used to the dark, resolutely closed. And behind it, those footsteps, this laughter, those comings and goings, as if her torturer was gathering his entire nastiness before throwing it to her face.

If nothing was happening soon, her heart would merely stop dead, she would be frightened to death. And she would have to live what they planned for her.

The door opened and she closed her eyes tightly, hoping this noise was only coming from her imagination frozen in terror. But a hand closed around her neck.

"So…" The man breathed into her face "You're doing buddy-buddy with the mafia of Mara?"

Levy shook her head, unable to speak, suffocating.

"You know what" He continued as he lifted her with his incredible strength "The friends of my enemies are my enemies."

He let go of her and her body collapsed on the ground, like a lifeless doll. She tried to stand, but before she could make a single movement, she was viciously kicked in the stomach, pain shot through her body, cutting her breath. But through the howling panic, her thoughts were converging on him. It was nothing comparing to what Gajeel had been through, she could handle it, she could. He eventually would come. Remembering suddenly his sensitive ears, she didn't refrain from screaming.

"You know what?" Her aggressor continued "I should have married Julie, the Madison daughter that lived at the end of the street. But she was taken to Mara. Then I should have married Aurélie – Mara too. My sister, she probably died in exposure now, or she was killed by I don't know who. All this because of your man and his friends. And now I'm alone like an ass. I'll take back what he stole from me."

Levy wanted to answer, to talk. The words, they were her only weapon, the only thing that could delay the inevitable, but with her airless lungs, she couldn't sputter a single word. It meant no magic, no radiant fire to scared the dark away. He would come for her, he was going to come soon, she was drawing him behind her closed eyes. Again, the other was groping her, tearing her clothes apart and laughing. Her breath quickened. Feeling the cold stone against her skin, she screamed again in terror.

She trashed but was slapped right in the face. She began to whimper, and stopped struggling: it was over, she couldn't do anything.

**x_X**

He was wandering on third-floor basement when he met this man. Said man whirled around and made a run for his life. Gajeel ran after him, bothered by his heavy forearm. The man turned again but he eventually caught him in the dark.

"Where is she?" He asked pinning him against the wall. He got pale, stammered. Deep down, Gajeel was almost relieved to see he was always so frightening.

"Room 46. Second-floor basement." He choked with difficulty. Gajeel knocked him off with his sick arm in a casserole rusty saucepan-like noise that rang in the corridor. He felt desperate. Why did he have the impression that something was missing? He had found one of the two men who had mocked him. He could have beaten him to death, made him suffer before finding the other one.

And then the terrible evidence struck him fully. He wasn't currently having revenge, he was currently saving Levy from their claws. He fought the fear, telling himself it was because he needed her for his illness, or because he wanted to punish her himself.

He was even madder with rage – if it was possible, when he rushed into the corridor and upstairs in the complete dark.

There were screams, wordless screams in the distance. He ran and opened the door.

He was even taller than him, his chest bare, and he was crackling in laughter like an idiot. He was groping Levy with his hands, the poor little naked thing at his mercy. Gajeel nearly threw up, as other similar images overwhelmed his head. Why did he have to see those things again an again?

Another blow on the head with his rigid arm was enough. The man collapsed with Levy. It wasn't too late, her little white chest was bare, her skin was soaked by the wet stone, her eyes were tearful, but she was still wearing her tiny panties.

He had made it stop, for the first time, he had prevented this horrible thing from happening, this appalling thing he never could have borne to see and hear.

Rage still boiled inside him. She had deserved it, if she hadn't left the room, if she hadn't betrayed him, it wouldn't have happened, she would be warm under the sheets, and he would be finally reassured, conscious he would never be alone anymore. She had stolen this precious hope just after she'd offered it.

He was ready. Ready to punch her, to destroy her, to take revenge. But suddenly, she looked up at him, with her big tearful eyes, her red cheeks, her panic-stricken face, and she _smiled_. She was staring at him as if he was the most wonderful thing she'd ever seen in the world, as if he was embodying the remains of her hope.

So he remained motionless, dumbstruck, arms dangling, feeling powerlessly his wrath melt like snow in the sun, aware despite himself that he was currently giving in this lie she kept repeating again and again.

No one never had looked at him in such a way.

Shaking, she stood awkwardly, took a few shy steps forward in the dark, reaching for him. He understood too late what she was up to. Her thin arms wrapped around him, her barely covered body pressed against his. She burst into tears once more, hugging him gently. He stopped breathing all of a sudden. What did that mean? Why was this gesture he'd seen so many times suddenly addressed toward him? And yet he wasn't that kind of guy.

Stunned, his mind stretched suddenly toward two opposite directions. A part of him wanted to cry, to hug her in return, to caress her back, to tell her it was alright, like anyone would at Fairy Tail. A part of him was savoring her bodily warmth, her piercing gaze, as if for the first time of his life someone was finally noticing there was a human being, something alive, behind his red orbs and the nails over his face.

The other part of him was fighting the desire to throw her on the ground. She had betrayed him, she was nothing but lies, this very moment was nothing but lies, and as the felicity due to the contact was growing inside him, was also growing the pain to know it wasn't real, it was just another trick to fight him, to survive against him, to fool him. He eventually grabbed her wrists, unsure.

And yet, she seemed so sincere…

"Come on." He eventually said coldly. He carried her because she didn't seem capable to stand on her own legs. He walked back to the empty hotel with Levy, her soaked body in his arms.

"You came for me..." She smiled in his arms.

"Shut the fuck up" He growled harshly. But the tears shining in the corners of her eyes broke his heart. She looked down, and hugged herself. He threw her literally into the bathroom.

"Wash yourself and get dressed" He ordered. Her sobs behind the door tore him apart but he still waited, his arms crossed over his chest, for her to finally dare coming back.

**x_X**

Hope had exploded inside her when she'd seen him coming, she had very nearly lived this horrible thing, this appalling crime the victims never seem to be able to recover. He had come for her, had rendered her aggressor harmless, he had rescued her like she'd dreamed he would.

She'd believed everything was fine.

She didn't understand the reason, but it was the opposite. He looked beyond furious, mad at her. She didn't do anything wrong, she, the victim of those men thirsty for revenge. What had come through his mind, why had he become so cruel, as if their long conversation from the day before never had existed? After she finished with her toilet, still shaking, she paused before the door handle. She wanted to stay here, for the whole night, she was suddenly fearing him, a fear she hadn't felt for a long time. If he was persuaded she had betrayed him, after what he had entrusted to her, he wouldn't give her a chance. Now it could really be the end.

But Levy was a Fairy Tail mage. She couldn't give up. She had decided she loved him, she could save him like he just did for her. There was no way she would give up now.

Ready to face him, she opened the door.

"Gajeel…" She began very softly.

But he swooped down on her like a bird of prey, before she could understand he had grabbed her by the throat and lifted her in the air.

"Stop playing with me now. You left. You wanted to run away."

"No…" She barely manged to utter through her dying breath, panic seeping slowly in her veins. "They were here, talking, I opened and they knocked me off, but I didn't… leave…"

He brought his face closer, and she met his eyes. Even through the panic, the fear to be smashed into tiny pieces, she could discern the infinite pain in his gaze, the unbearable sorrow of the one you abandon for the umpteenth time.

"Don't mess with me." He whispered while Levy realized the meaning of being half a dragon. She felt like she would melt, turn liquid. But it wasn't her desire to live which was howling in the racket of her mind, it was her love for him, outraged by the grief he was living.

"I didn't…" She tried again stubbornly as the air started lacking "...leave."

The flame of rage grew in his red eyes, and she stared at him, terrorized, feeling her life about to end. But suddenly he let her go, and she collapsed on the floor. She had a moment of respite, as the sorrow and the fear overrode the anger in his eyes. She stood but didn't take the time to catch her breath.

"It doesn't make any sense, Gajeel! Why would I leave now? When you're not totally cured yet! You trusted me about this, remember! Why would I run away when I crossed this mountain with you, when you were ready to bring me back to Fairy Tail? I won't leave you. Do you understand? I really want you… to live."

The anger was regaining ground inside him while he was advancing toward her.

"So what, what are you fucking hiding from me huh?" He screamed right in her face. His thick iron arm came crashing down a few centimeters away from her head, as if deviated from its trajectory thanks to some supernatural force watching over her. She was losing hope once more.

"I can't tell you…" She whimpered, as she felt her knees slowly giving up under her weight. But as she spoke she reconsidered, why not after all? Was she hiding her feelings toward Gajeel because she thought he wouldn't understand? Or because she was scared to be rejected in turn?

"Tell me!" He ordered again menacingly. Anyway she had absolutely no choice, it was this or her life. Love was far better than death.

"I…" She stammered, and a deathly silence fell; leaning over her, towering her with his whole height, he was waiting, his breath had stopped, his body had frozen.

"I'm in love with you Gajeel. That's why I did all this."

**X_x**

**Argh, the damn cliffhanger! O.O**

**Now, how do you think Gajeel will react? ...I? I don't know! I want to know!**

**See ya for the next chapter (don't know when, sorry. You'll have to suffer with me ^^')**


	19. Back to the south

**Chapter 18: Back to the South**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Yo! Miss me? (the readers: -_-)**

**Well, I bet the following readers were waiting for this chapter for a while after the last cliffhanger (P: I'll NEVER do a cliffhanger ever again! Too much pressure! TT_TT) and... this chapter might be not what you expected, but I still consider it as a good one. More blabla at the end.**

**Thanks again to Piranha pk for her second amazing drawing! *0* Thank for all the reviews/comments/fav/followings. You've made my personal sun shine.**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" belongs to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belong to Mashima.**

**X_x**

"I'm in love with you, Gajeel. That's why I did all this."

"What?" He managed to utter thickly. Through the racket of his mind, the silence had suddenly become the master. Every thought that had run through his head, crawled in his mind, screamed in his ears, banged against his temples, everything suddenly dissolved, as if those dark ideas were suddenly frightened because of something even darker. He had been used to think without stopping, weighing up the pros and cons, calculating his chances, the risks he was taking. But with what she'd just told him, he couldn't do anything. The incomprehension suddenly made the rage blaze up.

"You're talking nonsense! Nonsense!" He watched her as she tried to step back even if she was already melt into the wall. He saw her eyes filling with fear and tears. Like often, her weakness seemed suddenly unbearable.

"Stop, stop crying!" He screamed again. She sniffled loudly, shaking her little trembling body. Refusing to meet her eyes again, he grabbed her wrists.

"You're lying." He spat.

She shook her head, through the cries she found the strength to speak, he didn't know how.

"No… I swear it is true… I don't know how I can make y…"

"Shut up!" He cut. And she stopped dead, blocking her breath. But he let go of her hands. He started to pace before her, as she was observing him, terrorized, nearing the asphyxiation. As he was pacing back and forth, he found it was more and more difficult to chase this warm feeling growing inside of him against his will. Once again, he was believing it despite himself. He was believing it because he felt that her big eyes on him hadn't lied. Her heart didn't speed up because she was lying, it was pounding hard because of the fear, he knew the difference. For a moment, he fought with all his strengths against this implacable certitude growing with a nameless terror. And then he gave up, just like this.

He dropped on the remains of the bed, nailed by the evidence, while her legs were failing her and she was slowly slipping against the wall marked now by his wrath. He searched in himself the vestige of this raging storm, but in the whiteness of the surprise it was gone, again.

"You couldn't find anything better to save your life?" But as he spoke, he already knew it wasn't a lie. On the contrary, his logical mind trying to work as best as it could in this thick mist, was giving him the few information he knew of the love could perfectly explain everything. It was the key of the enigma he was prisoner of from the beginning. At the same time, he was facing an absolute inevitable incoherence. Those words, this term, this emotion couldn't apply to him. It was rationally impossible he could be the object of a love, especially this kind of love, a love that was making you cross the mountains, literally. And still, Levy had been his victim too, worst, she had been his victim by excellence, symbol of all the others. Even now, she was curled against the wall, she was certainly fearing for her life. And then, she was telling him this. This incomprehensible thing.

It took a long time before the idea rooted in him. It was impossible for him to understand the meaning, it was belonging to an universe he wasn't from, a world that wasn't his. This growing sensation didn't have its place here, inside of him, and yet he couldn't get rid of it.

So he tried to say something, to do something, without finding. For a split of second he wanted to run away, to leave her all alone. He couldn't. If he ran away, the illness would come back surely, and there would be no one to protect his heart from the invasion of the metal. And now, he couldn't leave her. It would be the worst thing he could do to her. Leaving without a word, abandoning her, with her hope thrown back in her face, at the mercy of the people of Lorée. He was frightened, so frightened he was considering to run away. But it would be the most selfish act he could do.

After all, he had taken her with him, he had kidnapped her. He couldn't take her then throw her away like trash. He wanted to become a better man, for real. She was going to save him, but for this, he had to protect her and stop terrorizing him. It was simple, all of a sudden. He couldn't understand what she just confess he knew it, but it had the merit to shake his brain in the right direction, to tune all this rage that seemed completely useless suddenly. You can't crush something which is already broken, you can't throw away the gifts, you can't leave behind the one who is depending on you. After all, it was what he had been searching at Fairy Tail, someone to protect, something to do, a reason to live.

So he tried to talk, not to avail. The question about his own feelings was had no reason to be, he never had to ask himself this, it was chimeric. So he didn't know how to respond.

"Listen…" Levy tried, her voice shattered by her erratic breath, cutting through the new silence. "I said it, that's all, okay? The rest, it doesn't matter… well… I don't expect anything from you. I never would have told you if I had the choice. I know you can't understand this kind of thing right now. You can forget about it, okay? Right now, I need to leave this place… before I break."

It was like a kind of discharge. Gajeel brusquely came back to earth, and what Levy'd said didn't seem real at all anymore. On the other hand it was time to clear off, it was vital. He stood, gathered the clothes while she was staring at him, still curled up. He put everything in a big blanket.

"Come." He said unsure with his huge bag on the shoulder. A part of him still thought she might refuse, oppose, or do he didn't know what. Why couldn't he just believe she was on his side now?

He had to set his load on the bed to understand. Levy's eyes were glassy, as if suddenly she wasn't seeing him anymore, hearing him anymore, as if she just wasn't here anymore. Her body was shaking and her breath was way too short.

"Levy?" He called, but he got no answer. He approached her, not sure he understood; her skin was white, and her gaze empty. Suddenly he remembered the last time he saw something alike. It was what happened to the young girls when they spent some times alone with Johan. Until now Gajeel had been blinded by the rage, he hadn't wondered what happened below, while he was running through the corridors, he hadn't realized her clothes had been torn apart, she had been manhandled. Who knew what this man had done to her?

"Fuck." He swore. There was nothing to do. It was during those moments of seizure where body and mind were overwhelmed by the panic and weren't answering anymore, as if they were stuck into a parallel world, delimited by a frontier locking the frightened ones who'd suffered in the solitude. For a split of second he wanted to cry, to scream. He didn't want to see that ever again. He grabbed another blanket in the cupboard, because she was shaking and seemed to be cold.

"Come on… we're leaving okay?" He said as he grabbed her. She turned toward him and glanced at him desperately as if she was suddenly emerging, unable to master her breath, to unwrapped her stiff and frozen arms from around her body.

"What's the..." She stammered, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's going to end. It's the repercussion. They shook you up quite well." He answered as he wrapped the blanket around her. Deep inside him, he was desperate. He had stopped the worst to happen, he had stopped it as best as he could, for once, he hadn't laid idle. So why? Why was he still forced to face those eyes, those bodies trembling in adversity? But he had always been a fighter. It wasn't enough, he would find a way to finally chase the obstacle away from his life, and also from hers. With his wounded arm, he managed to seize their stuffs, while he was helping her to walk with his other hand, if not carrying her.

There was no one in the corridors, or outside. It was time to leave all this snow, to come back to life. There weren't a lot of cars outside the city, because Lorée was the last town you could reach by the road. Many were abandoned. In the south tundra made of short grass and mud, the only possible future could be found in Mara. When a young man was leaving his car here, he was hoping to become rich enough not to care about it anymore, so the vehicles were left here, not even locked, like the symbol of the sacrifice to do. Gajeel chose a solid one and placed Levy on the passenger seat. She had calmed against his chest and she was inert again, like a doll no child wanted to play with. The freezing air had certainly taken her by surprise.

He had to put in the boot three cans of petrol a strange trembling guy sold him, and it was all: they were gone. Gajeel realized they never should have stopped at Lorée, they should have allowed themselves a night to rest and leaving right after, running away from this place which people knew his name and his face. He blamed himself for Levy's condition now, and for the rest. He hated himself, he was vomiting his sins by every pores. But he had no time to be sick. For the first time of his life, someone needed him. Taking care of her was a way to fix what he broke, if only a little bit.

Deep inside, he felt calm. Sad for her, but calm. For once, he knew what he should do, for once, life was simple, it was going in a precise direction. A direction materialized by the white road stretched in a straight line before them. Little by little the red sun set, leaving them in the dark, and when the night fell, Levy sighed, through the pain attacking her mind:

"Thank you, Gajeel."

For days, they never said a word, well nearly. He took care of her while she was slowly recomposing her mind. She was throwing up sometimes, she was shaking, was jumping awake in the night, screaming. Everything had been too much for her, but he had to admit that in spite of this, she was fighting and standing.

On his arm the metal was backing away. He hadn't had any seizure since the one that nearly killed him, even if some nights the illness was hurting when he watched her sleeping.

They only crossed empty landscapes as they drove back to the South. With a car, the journey was way longer. The kingdom of Fiore had bet everything on the rail traffic, when the roads were tortuous, sometimes full of potholes, but you could see forgotten landscapes.

And there was this day where the road were bordering an immense lake where no one seemed to live. They stopped on the pebble beach, they didn't know how, watching their reflection into the water and the silence.

"Where are we going, now?" Gajeel asked suddenly.

Levy stared at him, surprised. It had to be the first time he was opening the mouth.

"We are nearing Magnolia actually… but it would be better to avoid it, right? So where are you going?"

He had realized it, almost with horror, a little while ago. Without wanting it, without even thinking about it, he was charging right toward Magnolia, as if after all this time he could go back home, as if nothing ever happened. Was it madness or nostalgia? It was time to choose a direction, or else he could reach it almost despite himself. And then the Council would just pick him like a ripe fruit.

"I don't know… I don't care." Levy answered and the silence fell again. Gajeel looked up at the bright blue sky and the few clouds were reflected in the water.

"You're still not very well." He commented after a moment. She nodded without a word. Every time, he couldn't help but think it was his fault. But right after, he remembered he was currently looking after her, like he should have from the beginning. He felt he was on the right path, suddenly. He watched the sun sliding over her pale face, her half-closed eyes blinded by the light. He didn't know what name he could put on the feeling that filled him. He closed his eyes too for a split of second. For some times, they had the sensation to escape a long nightmare.

"But I'll be alright. I'm just scared. I wasn't built to endure this."

"Of course you weren't." He answered tonelessly. A bird rocketed above them at full speed before it flew away. It was so silent he could have heard its wings flapping.

"What about you?" Levy suddenly asked weakly "Are you alright? I mean… I was so absorbed into…"

"I'm okay." Gajeel cut as he showed his arm "I think the worst is over." She smiled faintly.

"But then…" She tried again.

"I don't really know…" He almost whispered. She smiled again, as a sign of encouragement. For a long time encore they remained here. Gajeel wasn't sick anymore, well almost anymore, Levy wasn't in danger anymore and she was healing slowly, nobody knew where they were, the snow was behind them. Together, they were merely enjoying the pleasure to be here.

"Gajeel…" Levy suddenly began with tearful eyes. He stared at her, worried, taking care of her was a way to forget about himself, and about what he'd done.

"I think I need my friends…" Gajeel's heart stopped, for a split of second he thought it was over, she was going to abandon him. Alone on the banks of the lake, without her, the view wasn't this beautiful, he knew it. He could have made her shut her mouth with a punch, but the violence seemed to belong to another universe, a universe they ran away from together. So he merely waited for her to rule on his fate.

"I don't want to tell them where we are. They could rush there and ruin everything once again, I don't want this. I just want to talk to them. Do you think we can do something about it? You'll stay by my side… so you won't have to worry…" She was nearly begging. That's when he understood. He was chained to her, because it was his duty to take care of her, but at the same time she was chained to him, because she needed him now, and… because of this oh-so strange thing she told him. There was nothing to fear, it was safe.

"I think we could find a lacrima in the next town… just tell me: East or West?"

"East." He glanced at her questioningly.

"No reason." She stated with a smile. He congratulated himself for accepting this, it seemed the thought of the comfort from her friends had given back a part of her energy.

The hotel where they stopped were a wooden one. It was completely silent. They were the only clients excepting a couple of walkers. The air was vivifying and the sky looked very close. From their bedroom window, they could see the lake, like a natural mirror for the clouds which could admire themselves.

"Close the shutters, otherwise someone could recognize the view." Gajeel said as he was sending an ambiguous glance at the lacrima ball, having pride of place on the rustic coffee table. Levy complied before she sat on the blue blanket of the bed.

"If someone at Fairy Tail is capable to do this… I think it's me." She kidded, and Gajeel allowed a weak smile. The bedroom was plunged into the dark, and the light from the ball looked surrealist.

"I'm a bit afraid…" Levy whispered as if someone could hear them.

He didn't answer and merely shrugged as usual. Levy put her hands around the lacrima and it began to shine even more and she waited.

"Yes?" Mirajane's voice called from the other side. They felt unsure to answer.

"Mira?" Levy eventually said.

"Levy?" She answered, not believing it. There was a silence in the dark. Gajeel sent her a glare, like a warning.

"Yes…" The Script mage answered.

"Er…" Mirajane hesitated "I… tell me where you are! We were looking for you everywhere! Makarov is sure you're in Mara with Gajeel! He's currently negotiating with the Council to obtain the access to the lawless zone. Erza is like a cat on hot bricks. Don't worry, they'll come for you soon and I promise everything will…"

"I don't need you to come for me." Levy tried to explain calmly. Mira's tears, her speech were like knifes she was sticking into Gajeel's chest. Stoic behind her in the dark, he wasn't speaking.

"What? You've made through it? Where are you?" A panicked Mirajane asked once more.

"No, Mira, listen to me. Gajeel got scared when he saw Erza burst in the last time. But he never hurt me, you hear? We both left then, because I don't want him to go in prison." Gajeel sighed behind her, but he didn't sound relieved, he was probably trying to contain the storm raging in his head as best as he could.

"Huh?" She almost choked.

"Who are you talking to, Mira?" A voice asked behind. Levy's tired heart skipped a beat inside her chest. Her friend Lucy was there, just here. She would certainly understand, and put an end to this mess.

"Levy…" Mira answered tonelessly.

"Levy, oh Levy, tell me where you are!" Lucy almost shouted. She was gripping the ball tightly. If she had been able to make her come out, make her pass through the magical way that allowed them to communicate, she would have without a second thought. If only she could erase the terror in their eyes…

"I won't tell you where I am" Levy explained as she had to swallow her tears of joy or sadness she didn't know "I don't want you to find me. When Erza came it screwed everything, but everything is fine now. I'm fine, okay, I'm fine…"

"But Levy…" They began simultaneously.

"Listen to me. I don't know what Makarov told you. But Gajeel never betrayed Fairy Tail. The death of Jet and Droy was an accident. He tried to avoid the fight between them and the girls from Litanie, but it didn't end well."

"But Ezra..." Lucy wanted to say.

"Erza was wrong. Gajeel did the only thing possible when he took me with him. Everything can be like before. I'm fine, okay. He didn't hurt me, do you understand? He doesn't want to hurt anyone. Is Makarov here? I wish to talk to him."

"You've lost your mind…" Lucy suddenly whispered. And then Levy felt truly alone. If her friend couldn't listen to her, Makarov wouldn't either.

"No, think about it for a second, Lucy. Makarov sent Gajeel on a mission to watch Litanie closely. He never wanted to leave Fairy Tail…"

"Who told you this?" Mirajane asked, sounding more and more worried.

"Makarov himself, but I knew before he told me. We could end this now, we could come back home if you let me…"

"Levy… what has he done to you? Why are you hurt?" Lucy asked all of a sudden. The little Script mage had forgotten about the wound on her forehead from the accident with the crawler. Yet it wasn't much.

"And you're pale… you've lost weight." Mirajane added.

"It wasn't easy to run away but…" Levy tried, but she was cut once more.

"He is behind you, that's why? He is threatening you? And he's hoping we'll believe this. He's vile, he's not better than a Dark Guild bandit!" Lucy suddenly spat. Behind Levy, Gajeel tensed suddenly, and without a word, he left the room.

"No!" Levy replied. "He was behind me, until you become harsh, Lucy."

"Harsh?" Lucy lost her temper "Harsh? He nailed you to a tree, he destroyed the Guild HQ, he tortured me because he was bored, when the members of his own Guild told him he was going too far. He treated me like an insect, he killed your two best friends, destroyed your team, he betrayed us! And you're calling me harsh?"

"He changed Lucy…" Levy tried a last time. Deep down she was glad Gajeel wasn't here anymore, he didn't have to hear this.

"You are blinded, Levy. He must have put some nonsense in your head. Tell me where you are, hurry, while he isn't here to hear you!" Lucy said again more conciliatory.

"No." Levy merely answered, then she added "Farewell, Lucy." She left the room in turn and flew downstairs. She found Gajeel outside, his dark form cutting the blue sky, his fist plunged into the wall of the hotel, his shoulders shaking, his body unmoving.

"Gajeel?" She tried weakly.

"She's right." He answered between his teeth. Levy remained silent, it was certainly useless to talk with him now. She merely stared at him with sad eyes.

"I think I'm having a seizure." He eventually added, still unable to move.

"Come…" She whispered near him "I'm going to heal you, as always."

She took his stretched arm and bend it against his body, she took his shoulders and made him turn slowly, then she took his hand.

"Come." She said again, and he finally complied, tense, stiff, painfully.

And of course, there was no one left behind the lacrima to hear Gajeel suffer.

**X_x**

**For those who wonder why Levy's confession seemed rushed: we can't have a real GaLe love moment right now considering the situation, but I think we wanted it too much, that's why it may sound kinda weird. But right here Levy really needed to escape this damn place with Gajeel, so that's why she didn't elaborate. But don't worry, soon enough they'll talk about it again**

**P: I FAILED THIS CHAPTER!**

**Me: No, I really don't think so. In my opinion you gave the right amount of realism. Sincerely if I were at Levy's place I would have done the same. Calm down. ^w^**

**So now, how many of you did forget about Fairy Tail? Because I must admit I didn't think about them at all! Normally in the next chapter you could see them arguing about Gajeel and Levy's situation. Right now I only hope Makarov will finally open his mouth and spit the truth!**


	20. Gajeel's friends

**Chapter 19: Gajeel's friends**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Ah... finally! The french version had been updated three days ago, I translated as quick as I could.**

**About this chapter: let's go back to Fairy Tail and see what the others think about this mess. You'll notice that Wendy is here too. About this, Pacifique kind of forgot she was appearing after the battle of Fairy Tail and Oracion Seis arc. So you'll have to consider those arcs never happened (or not yet anyway), so Gajeel protecting Levy from Laxus and Gajeel being a double agent at Raven Tail never happened either.**

**Thank you for your support! I love you! I hope you'll enjoy this.**

**I only own the translation. "Sick", Litanie and Killian belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

**X_x**

Back to Fairy Tail, effervescence was reigning, panic even. Makarov, Erza and Grey were still at Mara, waiting the authorization from Council that still wasn't coming. It was too difficult for Warren to establish the liaison because of the stormy discussion, so they had brought a huge lacrima on a platform so everyone could see each others and talk.

"What?" The surprise had struck everyone, but Lucy's voice had surpass the crowd at this moment. She didn't understand, there was no way she could.

"I told you. Gajeel was on a mission for me at Litanie." Makarov had been right to repeat. The whole Guild was convinced that the Iron Dragon Slayer was the worst monster in the world, that he had kidnapped and tortured Levy, that he had killed Jet and Droy with pleasure. The hatred had made the facts darker than they actually were.

"How could you have trusted him, believing he could take the role of a double agent? You could have chosen me, or Lucy, or…" Erza began. Even the master was fearing an angry Erza apparently.

"I needed someone who could fit the role of a traitor."

"It fitted him so right he got hooked." Mirajane stated.

"Gajeel…" Elfman growled "is not a man."

"Listen to me" Makarov claimed, "I made a mistake, I don't know if it was when I let him join the Guild, when I sent him on this mission or when I let Levy go with him. Now I can't go back, no one can change what happened. All we can do is decide together what we're going to do now."

Erza seemed to calm down.

"In any case, Levy said she wasn't at Mara anymore… so it's useless to keep harassing the Council about an authorization."

"On the contrary" Grey went on "Maybe Levy isn't here, but maybe the people of Mara will accept to tell us where they are now, maybe someone saw them."

"Moi, I don't think we should do anything" Lucy said "If we make a move, Gajeel is going to hurt Levy. In my opinion, Gajeel went to Mara to get some help. Those awful people are his friends. They will tell him we're right after him, and he'll try to put pressure on us." There was a murmur of general approbation.

"Well okay, but where could we search?" Erza asked.

"The images of the lacrima won't tell us anything." Grey added.

"We can't do anything!" Lucy concluded as she punched the bar "We're stuck because of that monster. We never should have let Levy leave with him!"

But we were at Fairy Tail, the rest of the Guild refused to give up and a stormy debate about the way they could intervene without putting Levy in danger followed. Natsu was silent, deep inside himself he knew there was a solution, he wasn't doubting. He wasn't very clever, but he had the feeling everyone was searching in the wrong direction, and if his strategy wasn't often the best, his intuition was rarely wrong. And then suddenly, someone uttered this word, this word he couldn't hear without feeling his blood boiling in flames.

"…that monster."

His eyes shot up through the crowd. Lucy had spoken this word. Lucy. He never would have thought she would stoop to this insult, the worst of all in his eyes. And suddenly, the light cleared in his mind. Levy had said… what was it? Levy had said Gajeel hadn't hurt her. She'd seemed in a bad state, Mirajane told them, but after all, they had run away. What if in the end Gajeel wasn't that bad? After all, he was a Dragon Slayer like him. What if Jet and Droy's death was really an accident as she told? Natsu did something he wasn't used to do: for a split of second, he tried to imagine himself being in Gajeel's condition. What would he have done if Erza had burst in suddenly, threatening to throw him on jail? He would have run away. Alone without a doubt, but he would have. Natsu clenched his fists and eventually broke the conversation.

"What if Levy was telling the truth?" He spoke not very loudly. But the whole Guild was silent.

"That's what I think too." A little voice rang behind him. Wendy stepped forward in the light and he watched her, slightly surprised.

"Juvia thinks so too." The three of them waited, but they were the only ones to believe in Gajeel, even if it was a little bit.

"What are you suggesting?" Erza asked, threatening.

"Juvia suggests she talks to Gajeel. She knows he trust her. She could tell him they can come home, both of them, and that no harm will be committed on them. Juvia knows something you don't."

"But…" Erza began.

"Let her talk." Makarov interrupted. So Juvia glanced at Natsu, then Wendy and finally she found the strength to continue.

"Juvia's body hadn't always been made of water. Long time ago Juvia had been a being made of flesh and blood, who could turn into water when she wanted to and turn back into human after the fight. But for a long time of her life, Juvia had been very sad."

"What the connection?" Someone asked.

"Shut up." Someone else replied. Apparently the sentence had been accompanied by a blow in the ribs.

"There is a disease. A disease Juvia… is still victim of even if her state is stable now. It's a disease which contaminate the mages filled with sorrow. Their magic escapes their control, and it eats their body gradually. Now, Juvia's body is made of water, completely, every time. Juvia doesn't feel anything at all, no breath, no heartbeat, no… Juvia has nothing like that anymore, she will never have them back. Actually Juvia is lucky to be still alive. Well… that's what Levy told her. Gajeel is sick. Levy told it to Juvia. Levy told she was going to try to save Gajeel, and that if she'd succeed, she would try to save Juvia from the aftereffects of her disease as well. That's why Levy decided to left the Guild with him. She wanted to take him away from the source of his sadness, to prevent the magic to eat him and to escape his control. When Erza came and wanted to take Levy back with her, Gajeel knew he was going to die if he let her. He just wanted to save his life, that's what Juvia thinks."

There was a deafening silence. After all, the idea about Gajeel being sad hadn't brushed anyone here. Sad… this word… they couldn't associate it with his unfriendly face. Even Natsu could be sad, even Makarov, but not Gajeel. Gajeel was angry, he was in a bad mood, Gajeel was a pain in the ass, but he wasn't sad.

Unfortunately Erza was the first to react:

"Whatever" She said "Gajeel did what he did. If he were sick he should have said so, so his mission could have stopped. Nothing can excuse him, he attacked Jet and Droy, he hurt Levy, this is the second time he did. I think he never understood how a Guild work. If he had a problem, he should have talked about it. Now, we are suffering the consequences of his secrets. Levy is suffering. He kidnapped her, the reason doesn't matter."

There was a movement of general approbation, mainly carried by Lucy as many members came closer to her.

"He couldn't know that…" Juvia tried.

"What if…" Wendy wanted to say through the racket.

"It's useless, drop it" Natsu concluded "I've got another idea."

The three of them left the Guild, while the crowd were debating again loudly about the measurements to take against Gajeel without putting Levy in danger.

"Juvia thinks that Gajeel had never really been of this Guild. Otherwise, everyone would have fought for him."

"Yeah…" Natsu agreed.

"It's sad." Wendy added.

There was a silence between them, interrupted by the vociferation that could still be heard from the other side of the door.

"Natsu… Juvia believes you have a plan?"

"Litanie." The Dragon Slayer answered "They will help us."

Wendy remained unmoving for an instant, staring at him. Natsu was really incredible. He was often completely brainless, but when he was angry or when one of his friend was in danger, he was capable of doing miracles. She herself hadn't thought about it but it was logical. Litanie had become a sanctuary for the penitents. That's very precisely what Gajeel was: a penitent. There, there was necessarily people to understand him and help him. Wendy also had the feeling that Levy wanted to stay with him. She didn't know Gajeel very well deep down. Many times she had wanted to talk to him, but she hadn't dared. For her, he was really impressive. If she had known that a silent ache was threatening his life, eating him on the inside, maybe she would have taken her courage in both hands. As she did for all of them, every time it was necessary. It was Gajeel's problem deep down, that's why events went wrong. He hadn't said anything, he hadn't asked for help or explained anything. That's why he was so scary, so incomprehensible, he kept giving the impression he had remained that brute he'd been at Phantom Lord. Deep down, Juvia would have remain scary too, with her sad face, if she hadn't fallen in love with Grey, if she hadn't talked with them about what she'd been through. All this… it was only a question of pride.

"Juvia thinks this is a good idea." The water mage agreed. Above the Guild, clouds were gathering. She was really worried.

"Hey miss weather." Natsu warned who hated the rain. She focused and chased the mist. Wendy nodded and they began to walk. Litanie siege, this abandoned tower, were standing outside the town, away from the center, to avoid any kind of problem.

The place had been completely refurbished. It seemed that Makarov's speeches had their effect. Juvia knocked shyly on the heavy door, and waited patiently for someone to open the door. A window slammed up there, and a voice screamed.

"This is Fairy Tail mages!"

Another window burst open.

"Is it Makarov, Erza and Laxus?"

"No" The answer came from another window "There are the two Dragons Slayer and the water girl… Should we open?"

"Yes, open the door. Bring them to me."

All the windows closed in a palpable anxiety. The master himself hadn't sounded very relieved. The door opened very slowly with a creak. The inside was still dark despite the big lamps hanging here and there. A young blue haired woman and another leather dressed one were accompanying them, their eyes cold. The silence fell in the hall and every single eye were on them, ready to fight. Some of them must believe that if the master wasn't coming, it didn't mean that the whole Fairy Tail guild had forgive the death of two mages. However, Wendy felt that things had certainly turned better. They could feel in this mistrust a commune will to protect something precious, a beginning of solidarity between them. The two young fairies hoped that Natsu wouldn't feel offended by the glares they were earning. But for once he didn't seem to be all fired up. Docilely, he knocked at the master office's door.

A young blonde woman wearing a beautiful white dress opened and under his black cape the master was standing, his back to them, facing the sea, his face revealed. He looked exhausted but almost happy when he turned around.

"Fairy Tail…" He said "Don't pay attention to the distrust of my disciples. What can I do for you?"

"We need your help" Wendy explained as she felt for once the courage to speak.

"Gajeel needs help." Juvia corrected. The master's eyes darkened and the young blonde woman came near him.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"After you brought Gajeel back to Fairy Tail" The water mage explained " Levy had been sent after him, so she could show him the right path. She was voluntary. But something went wrong. Well… the members of Fairy Tail are still thinking that Gajeel betrayed the Guild because they are all convinced he'd kidnapped Levy." Juvia looked down, a wave crashed with force against the cliff.

"What about you? Is that what you think too?" The young blonde woman suddenly asked with a sort of pain in her voice.

"No, and that's why we're here." Natsu stated. "If Fairy Tail doesn't want Gajeel to come back, we thought that maybe you could welcome him. You are a Guild of penitents. It's exactly what you're doing. You're taking people no one want in and you turned them into good persons."

"I am deeply delighted to see that finally someone understand the reason to be of this Guild." The master answered. He sighed with relief. "You can tell Gajeel that Litanie's doors are open for him. Tell him to come with a lantern at night and to make it flash as a sign. We will open and it'll be alright."

"Thank you…" Wendy whispered.

"You are welcome, this is normal. Thanks to Makarov and his speeches, a lot of Litanie members begin to understand the meaning of a Guild. But I think this is thanks to Gajeel too. He was the one who motivated them to reconstruct the tower and when Makarov condemned him, Roxana and Méloée tried to testify in his favor by explaining it was their fault, but Makarov didn't want to hear them, certainly because he was afraid they would lie to protect him… I must admit that sometimes I don't understand Makarov… but the fact he had been so severe with Gajeel, generated, I don't know… a sort of unity here. I think they acknowledged each others, somehow."

He sighed again, sadly this time, then he finally added:

"Come with me, I'm going to announce the news."

He left the office, walking along the passageway to stop at the balcony above the main hall. Feeling uncomfortable under the hostile glares, they waited.

"My friends" The master began and the silence fell "Those people from Fairy Tail brought some news about Gajeel. He is currently on the run. Natsu, Wendy, and Juvia came to ask us to hide him against their master's will. Are you ready to help him?"

There was an unified clamor, a clamor reminding of those you can hear at Fairy Tail. The hatred was gone in their eyes.

"That's what I thought… I know that our own problems aren't settle yet, but I'm counting on you to welcome him warmly."

There was a new clamor but everything wasn't over yet. Juvia was already thinking about the way she could get the lacrima ball to contact Gajeel. Deep inside her, she felt that her friends could manage to keep running away, but this situation must be painful for them, for Gajeel because he was accused once again, for Levy because she was far from her friends.

x_X

Since they had run away from Lorée, Gajeel and Levy had kept this strange habit to sleep in the same room. He thought she would feel safer knowing he was right by his side and no one could harm her as long as he was here, beside her. She thought he would be sure this way that she wouldn't disappear during his sleep. In fact, they were both right. The motifs pushing them to sleep hugging each other, holding each other were wooly, leading to more questions. But none of them wanted to think about it. When unfortunately her mind was wondering, Levy's cheeks were turning red to the point she was glad the light was off and she was fearing he could hear her heart. Only once Gajeel had wondered if it was Levy's confession that had allowed this sudden proximity. He had chased the question before even thinking about the answer. Every time he thought about it, guilt was burning in his veins. He had forced her to say it, he had pushed her by force. And so, he had the impression that he didn't deserve those words. And yet he was granting himself the right to have her against him every night. Like an alcoholic granting himself a last drink, knowing it's not a good idea and it would turn against him sooner or later. Honestly he was awkward with this gesture, especially at the beginning. Deep down, he didn't even know anymore how it happened in the first place. A part of him wanted to stop this. But stopping it was implying a change from his part, and so she would want to question him about it. No, actually, things would better remain this way.

And then, she looked peaceful in his arms. In the middle of this inward racket, he'd almost forgotten to realize how pleasurable it was deep down. Pleasurable, so it was also bad, dangerous, or at least fleeting.

And so when the lacrima ball lightened suddenly, his first reflex had him jumping out of the bed, standing immediately. Levy rolled on the other side and collapsed on the floor. She seemed to awake only after her fall. Gajeel remained hidden in the shadow, right in the angle, not daring to approach, while she was crawling awkwardly.

"Juvia?" She gabbled through her sleepy state.

"Juvia… Juvia wants to talk to Gajeel." The water mage declared from the other side of the ball. Levy took a minute to pull herself together, to rewind painfully the conversations from the previous day and Gajeel's catastrophic seizure.

"Why?" She asked. Instead of answering, Juvia ignored her.

"Gajeel, are you here? Juvia doesn't have many times. She came to talk to you because she knows you trust her. Juvia, Wendy and Natsu decided to believe Levy. They think you should come back home. But Makarov isn't with us and Erza is furious. You still have friends at Fairy Tail. And your friends have spoken to Killian, Litanie master. He'd agreed to hide you while we're trying to find a solution. He said there's a secret subway leading to the undergrounds of the tower, you can reach it with a boat. He'll let a boat for you, a kilometer away from the town, at the East of Magnolia, in the middle of nowhere. Then you'll sail to a little creek where you'll find a cave. Here is the beginning of the subway leading to the Guild. They are waiting for you. Juvia hopes you're alright. Levy told me about your disease. Juvia hopes she managed to heal you, Juvia…"

The water mage turned around suddenly and another voice rang:

"Crap, someone's here!"

"Goodbye, Gajeel." Juvia finished before she disappeared. Levy and Gajeel found themselves in the dark once more, their hearts pounding. The Script mage took the time to straightened and to peer the room. Gajeel's frozen silhouette in the angle nearly made her jump.

"Gajeel?" She called shyly.

"It's a trap." He answered.

"It was Juvia…" Levy whispered back. She came closer, unsure of what to do. She was convinced that the water mage was sincere. She didn't know how to hide her feelings. She also understood why Gajeel was doubting. After what happened, it was normal he doubted everyone. Deep down, even Fairy Tail had repudiated him, almost the whole Guild had.

"Exactly, Makarov knows I trust her. He must have asked her to do this, she didn't want to be disowned too."

"Gajeel…" Levy tried to speak.

"What?" He almost snapped.

"I don't think this is a trap. I think we should go there, to hide at Litanie."

"You just want to go to _your_ little home." He spat. But he never made a move, his arms were still crossed, his body melted in the darkness.

"Gajeel." Levy insisted, more annoyed.

"What?" He repeated, still unmoving.

"When are you going to get it? I won't leave you. I don't want to go back to Fairy Tail. No one is going to understand why I did what I did back then. Maybe besides Juvia Natsu and Wendy.»

"Let's say it's true" He continued, finally abandoning his statue position to pace back and forth before her "Juvia must have been forced by the master."

"Do you seriously think she'd accept to do this?" Levy asked again, flatly.

"I don't see why she would risk her place in the Guild. This place she deeply cares about." The Dragon Slayer replied as he strangely seemed to lose his temper.

"The answer seemed clear to me." Levy concluded. She let Gajeel ponder on it in the silence. He made at least two or three round trips before he answered in an acid tone:

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Levy had to restrain herself to face-palmed. Instead, she sighed loudly and Gajeel glared at her. She couldn't believe how hard it still was, how quick she was beginning lose hope. He was waiting for her to explain further.

"Gajeel. Juvia cares about you. She's worried about you. I think she's ready to risk her place for you, because she wants to have her friends beside her. All her friends, no exception. She's ready to take risks like any other Fairy Tail member usually would to help someone else. By the way, I think this is unspeakable that everyone is against you, while you still have your mark. That also the reason I don't want to go back there."

It was Gajeel's turn to sigh.

"You're the one who doesn't get it. I am an exception, that's the point. I don't risk my ass for the others, and no one would do it for me either. This is life. Now sleep. Tomorrow we'll have to move."

Walking the talk, he lay down on the bed. With anxiety he saw Levy came to cuddle against him. But this time it was different. This time she wrapped her arms around his own and hugged it tightly. He could feel her sadness in the dark.

"But who put such an idea in your head?" She asked suddenly. Her voice had trembled. He was regretting his words, as if he had insulted her. Suddenly he wanted to take them back without knowing why. And then the light spread in his mind. He thought back about what she told him that day, forcefully. It was the only way he'd found to name this thing in his mind. 'What she told him'. Even thinking about the real word was completely impossible. But anyway this thing, and also the fact that Levy had braved the mountain with him, the fact she had done everything she could to heal him as he acknowledged, all this was proving he was wrong. He couldn't deny that Levy had moved heaven and earth for his sake, or that he was currently holding her. He realized suddenly that in the long run it might be insulting to be permanently suspected of betrayal. And still he had kidnapped her, manhandled her, and she was still here, and even more. She was here, more than anyone had ever been present at his side. He swore silently to stop doubting her in the future.

"Surely not you." He eventually declared. He almost felt her relax against him. And he regretted those words too. Gradually, he was realizing that indeed Levy was… no he couldn't voice it, it was too… too… contrary to the logic, to the world order. Yet in spite of this, he was trapped with her into what he was forced to call a kind of relation. A relation where he was holding her in his arms. A kind of ambiguous thing he didn't know how to get rid of without hurting her. Or maybe he didn't want to get rid of it, he didn't know.

**X_x**

**So?**

**I'll say it now for the ones who can't wait for the next one: me too! Unfortunately the french version of the next chapter isn't ready yet (I doubt Pacifique began to write it, she has a life you know). Please be patient just like me! *jumping through the room, squeaking, begging for the next one to come RIGHT NOW***

**Please revi... ah no, I said I stop asking ^^'**


	21. Trust?

**Chapter 20: Trust?**

**Finally the next is here! Yay! *throw confetti***

**I tired, I have a headache, so I don't know what else to say about this chapter, so enjoy!**

**I only own the translation. "Sick" and Litanie belong to Pacifique. Fairy Tail belong to Mashima.**

**X_x**

The night was peaceful, and the morning began by this usual awkward feeling. Usually he was up before her, and he was watching her, with a mix of anxiety and what he could call now tenderness, as she curled on herself in an attempt to find his gone bodily warmth. Sometimes she was the first awake but she pretended to be still asleep until he moved in turn. After this, she was waiting for him to leave the room. The little Script mage knew that this little ploy was ridiculous, but after all, it was almost amusing in a way. After what they'd been through, what she'd almost suffer back to Lorée, it was normal to search some comfort, but she couldn't do it directly, she had to steal what she needed. So even if she was smiling, she also felt guilty. She was consoling herself with the idea that after all Gajeel wasn't the kind of man who let himself being walked over. Sometimes she was venturing, thinking that maybe he was pleased with this situation.

Now, she wanted to confess, to go back over what she'd told him far too soon, just before they left Lorée. She never found the right moment, she didn't want to talk about it for nothing, she was scared he wouldn't understand. Maybe it wasn't necessary to talk, maybe she just had to act? But the result would be worse if her actions were misunderstood. After all, she had told it. He could do what he wanted now. But his silence was slowly hurting her feelings. Of course she had told him he could forget, she had thought it at the moment. Often, she was wondering if he hadn't merely followed her advice, if he hadn't forgotten just like that. She would be sad, really, if he had. She was sad just thinking about it.

They had changed cars twice since they left Lorée. The cars from the North were too recognizable, made in iron, and they needed petrol. In the South, magic was far more used, so they'd better melt into the crowd. Levy had wanted to protest when Gajeel had taken the magical pump, but he had made her shut up with a glare. She knew she hadn't enough magic left, and he could drive for miles without being tired. So she'd remained quiet. The Dragon Slayer didn't have a seizure, the consummation of his magic hadn't been a problem. And she was relieved. Maybe the things were getting into order.

They'd needed a few days to reach the South coast. A few calm days, in a complete silence. They hadn't talk at all. But it seemed that Gajeel had thought a lot, and he had decided to go to Litanie. So he'd traveled back to the Sud, and she had realized it when she'd recognized the vegetation, the weather. She hadn't commented it. Gajeel must have thought they couldn't run away definitely, someone could see they. Levy knew in spite of all that he would remain careful. They had left the lacrima ball behind them, in fear that someone could use it to find their trace. Deep down, being so close to Fairy Tail was dangerous.

Levy wanted to talk with Gajeel, reassure him so that worried mark between his nonexistent brows finally disappeared from his face, so he wouldn't turn around at the fateful moment. She wanted to scream he wasn't an exception, it was possible to end this, everything could be like before, she wanted him to confide in her, because she had the feeling he was nearing the implosion. But he remained silent, so silent she couldn't bring herself to talk, it was impossible to communicate with someone who was so silent. And yet he didn't have a seizure. Levy was suspecting their bodily contact during night to be the main reason. But she didn't want to think about it, not like this. So she kept quiet too, doing tirelessly what he wanted, without flinching.

Her leg was better, and the arch of her eyebrow would let a scar. Gajeel still hadn't got his arm back.

They were traveling slower now, taking their time to rest between each place. They were at the seaside, due to Gajeel's doubts they had made a vast detour, and now they had to drive toward the East to reach Magnolia. The room of the hotel had a terrace giving onto the sea. After all, they had stolen a lot of money at Mara and the Dragon Slayer was esteeming that going to Magnolia with money from stolen jewels was a bad idea. Levy was nodding of course, but she who was used to be reasonable was surprised by this sudden comfort. So this day, she was resting on a deckchair on the terrace, listening the roll. She was happy to be almost home. She was enjoying their last rest. The following night, it was the night, the day they would go to hide at Litanie. She was anxious. Not because she was doubting Juvia, Natsu or Wendy, but because they were going to approach Fairy Tail, too closely. Who knew what could happen? What if Gajeel was losing his cool? What if their plan had been discovered by someone else? This short crossing on the boat was scaring her almost as much as the mountain. To reassure herself, she was trying to imagine what could happen if only they reached Litanie. She could spend more than a night at the same place, finally.

Gajeel opened the plate glass window and as always without a word, he collapsed on his chair beside her, his gaze on the horizon. Usually they remained like this for a long time, without talking, but after all, they better talk now than tomorrow, in the heat of the moment, in the middle of the unknown.

"What are you thinking about?" She tried shyly.

"Am _I_ talking to ya?" He answered gruffly, but she didn't take the bite.

"No… and that's the point. It's been… ten days you didn't spoke a word? Do you think this is normal?"

"Yeah." He answered sure of himself, folding his arms "And by the way if you're not happy you can still go back to Fairy Tail. You're not my hostage anymore now."

Levy took a moment to think about it. It was the first time he was stating it loudly. She thought she saw a shudder on his face surrounded by light. Was he still expecting her to pack her things and leave him without another word? She was about to tell him for the umpteenth time that she was with him, explain it to him once more. But after all since the words weren't working on him, she would show him instead. Without a word, without a glance, she stood and disappeared into the cold shadows of the room.

Gajeel had promised himself to trust her now, that's why he had said this, despite the fat it was obvious for him, he wanted to show her this way that he managed to trust her. But she was standing, she was leaving and he was already imagining himself going to Litanie alone, or worst, aimed by the thousands of spears of the Council. Where was this promise he had done to himself? Where was his strength? His unwavering will? He tensed on his chair, clenching his fists, trying to tell himself she would come back. But the sun was burning his eyes, his skin, reminding him very painful memories.

_'Die.__That's the best you can ever do__.__'_

Unable to take it anymore Gajeel moved like a whirlwind. He was ready to run after her in the streets, ready to jump off the balcony if he had too, he wouldn't let her go without a word, without a talk. He wouldn't let her go at all. He found her inside the little kitchen of the room, a glass of water in her hand.

"Levy, you…" He tried, his face white.

"Since you weren't incline to talk, I went to get a glass of water." She explained. "You really need to relax."

Without a word he turned on his heels and went back to his chair on the terrace, and she follow him. To tell the truth, he was almost angry. But he felt relieved. She seemed to give the talking up with him for a while so he began to think about what just happened. Rationally it didn't make any sense, absolutely none. The fact she was leaving now was completely illogical, considering everything she'd done for him until now, her behavior, her words and especially this forced confession he didn't dare to think about. For a moment, Gajeel wondered if he was turning crazy. Why had he thought about that day, when he'd seen Metalicana for the last time? Concretely, it had nothing to do with it.

"You knew I would freak out." He eventually said in a reproachful tone.

"It wasn't hard to guess." Levy answered, amused.

"Are you enjoying yourself playing with my nerves?" He replied.

"Honestly… a little. But you know... it becomes insulting for me."

He remained silent for a while, and a wave crashed into the cliff below them, where their hotel was standing.

"I know." He eventually said.

"That's why. I wanted to present you with the fait accompli. I have the feeling my words wouldn't reach you." She was kind again, and he understood she was waiting for him to talk, like they'd already done before.

"Yeah exactly. Actually I can't manage to reason with myself." He explained looking down.

"That's why I'm worried." Levy added as she turned toward him. But his eyes were remaining on the horizon.

"I shouldn't act like an ass like this tomorrow." He added.

"That's clear, yes, but above this, it's going to ruin your life, if every time you remain persuaded that people will play a dirty trick on you."

"I can avoid disappointments." He answered tit for tat.

"What if you wouldn't be disappointed?" Levy added without getting discouraged.

"What do you mean?" He asked. He still had his arms crossed, his eyes glassy, but maybe he was listening in spite of all.

"It seems inconceivable to you that someone could care for you, or could want your well-being, am I right?"

"Yes." He answered very seriously "Now, I'm starting to have proofs of the contrary, I can realize it, denying it becomes completely incoherent with the reality, and yet I continue to think this way. That's crazy, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't say it's crazy. I'd say that when you thought this way during your whole life, it's complicated to change your mind."

"Why would it be so complicated?" Gajeel asked still without watching her.

"Because it's not like changing your mind about your favorite color, for example. Changing your mind here means taking a risk, the risk to think that the other want your well-being and that you're wrong, the risk to be disappointed by the other, the risk to be abandoned when you were relying on someone. I bet you've already been through it."

The Dragon Slayer tensed even more on his chair and Levy knew she had gone too far. She waited, hoping a word would eventually escape from this hopelessly closed mouth. Then she despaired, and when she decided to give up and let her mind drifting away in the calm, his lips unsealed.

"Why do you absolutely want to know what happened?" He asked harshly suddenly.

"It's not that I want to know. Sometimes I feel like I better not know. But you have to talk about it to someone, so that someone can sympathize with what you've lived, do you understand?"

"What would be the point?" He asked encore.

"I think you could get rid of it. If you could see my horrified face, you'd feel this isn't normal, that this isn't suppose to happen, usually." Levy went on, not very sure of her choice of words.

"I know that, believe me." He replied, almost feeling angry.

"So why do you still believe to be an exception, why do you refuse to see that I…"

"I don't know." He cut her "But even if I wanted to talk to you, I couldn't. I don't really remember, and then… it wasn't so important, it wasn't… there was the rest too and… rah! Nevermind."

He stood hastily, and disappeared into the bedroom. Levy sighed. Above the sea, the sun was setting.

**X_x**

They had walked into the tall grass, into the sand, along the coast, in the dark. The boat was waiting for them as planned. Gajeel hesitated a moment, so she grabbed his valid hand and pulled it gently. She felt relieved when he resolve to follow her. They went on board, still in silence, doing their best to avoid making noise, dreading seeing a silhouette, a bad omen, a threatening torch. They both had to row to move across the sea. It was the most discrete boat, the bow was barely rocking the dark water. Both of them were crossing their fingers. She was hoping everything would be alright, he was hoping no one would betray them before the end of the crossing. None of them payed attention to the myriad of stars above their head.

After they passed the little bay, they turned on the light and the expected signals answered them. Levy began to relax as they were reaching the cave, always in the deepest silence.

The tunnel seemed interminable. Sharply, Gajeel had forced Levy to stay behind him, and he was walking along the rock wall. They eventually found stairs, then a trap door. Gajeel paused instead of opening it.

"How much are you sure we can trust Juvia?" He whispered very quickly.

"I'm a hundred percent sure." Levy answered.

"You probably don't hear anything, but I can tell there are at least a hundred of persons waiting in silence for this trap door to open." Gajeel went on between his teeth.

Levy paused for a moment, contaminated by his anxiety.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I mean I don't know! There's a lot of people, people who's not moving, who's silent. Maybe it's the Council waiting for us with spears and all that jazz."

Levy shuddered, instinctively. She forced herself to think, to fight the panic. There was certainly another explanation. But suddenly Gajeel straightened, turning around in the dark, toward the unclear shadows.

"Shit." He swore "People are coming to us!"

Before Levy had the time to succumb to panic, he grabbed her with violence, sticking a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. His gestures had no gentleness, his body was so tense she had the feeling to be prisoner by a statue. He moved silently, avoiding the puddles, then turning silently in a corridor she didn't even have the time to see. The conduit was narrowing, so he went to press himself against the dead-end waiting for them. After that he dropped Levy next to him, and used his sick arm to make a few rocks fall very slowly from the walls. Soon they were hidden, in the total dark. Only at this moment, he removed his hand from her mouth.

"Do you think they heard us?" She asked very quickly.

"No idea…" Gajeel whispered "But if we keep talking, we're doomed. So let's keep quiet and wait."

Levy nodded with tearful eyes. Soon, she heard the footsteps too. So she held her breath, unable to believe it was happening to her. She knew that if the Council was discovering her there, with him, unchained, willingly, she would certainly fall with him, for having protected him, for having hidden him when he was clearly wanted, for having refused to tell Fairy Tail where they were. This thought was horrifying her but at the same time she was proud. Proud to have done everything in her power for what she believed was right, and for the one she loved. There was no half-measure, no compromise.

"Gajeel!" A voice suddenly rang. It was Natsu. Fairy Tail. She felt Gajeel glancing at her in the dark and hope left her suddenly. They were doomed. Even if they escaped, where would they go?

"Gajeel." Juvia's voice called. Hope suddenly came back. If Natsu was here with Juvia it certainly meant that he was with them. She cursed herself for having doubted her friends, contaminated by Gajeel. Deep down, she had been manhandled too. She was ready to let her joy explode at the idea to see them again, and screaming that she was there, right there. But again Gajeel placed his hand over her mouth and blocked her with his invalid arm and the cold metal made her shudder.

"Gajeel oh! Come on, show yourself, we know you're here, I've smelled you. You really stink. I'm with you. Juvia's here too, and also Wendy who's waiting for you in the hall. Actually, everyone is waiting for you. They've prepared a surprise party for your arrival, and if we don't hurry they're going to eat the whole cake! They've made a strawberry cake to mock Erza and her morale."

Juvia was less optimist, she was talking hesitantly.

"Juvia knows you don't trust us, and she is well placed to know you're right to be mistrustful. But Juvia wouldn't set a trap for you. Juvia is very angry against Makarov and the others about the way they treat you. Show yourself, please."

Levy struggled in Gajeel's arms, but he wasn't moving an inch.

"Oh la la, so we can't even prepare a surprise party anymore… what a killjoy!" Natsu added. Suddenly Gajeel pounced, still holding Levy against him, and they were facing each other in the tunnel. Natsu and Juvia's faces fell.

"Back off." Gajeel ordered. They obeyed.

"Gajeel… Juvia thinks you should let her go, you're hurting her. It's alright. We just wanted to celebrate. Juvia is happy to see you, to know you're alright. You are Juvia's friend."

Indeed if Levy hadn't her mouth covered, she would have moaned in pain. Gajeel was currently panicking, she felt it, he was the prey of a very intense inward fight and he couldn't hear her anymore. In a reflex, his arms were tightening around her even more, too much more, she couldn't breath properly, and her wrist stuck against his torso was hurting her. He didn't answer Juvia.

"Gajeel…" Natsu tried again interrogatively. A disproportionately long time passed, while Levy struggled more and more. Then finally he let her go. She squeaked, collapsed on the ground, her knees on the damp earth, holding her wounded arm. The Dragon Slayer watched her, then stared at their wondering eyes and he wanted to run away because it was too much for him. But with her other hand, the little Script mage grabbed him just before he did, clutching his torn coat. She met his terrified look without fear.

"It's okay, this is not big deal. Come, come with me. Lena is going to heal me anyway, okay?"

He seemed to relax, regain his composure, then finally he helped her to stand. Natsu and Juvia stared at each other. They were both relieved that finally there was someone here on earth who could knock some sense into Gajeel Redfox.

"I hate surprises." He eventually growled. Juvia gave him an enigmatic smile and Natsu gave him a tap on the shoulder. The action against his body emitted a weird tin noise.

"Oh" He commented, wondering.

"Shut up." Gajeel answered. Juvia smiled brightly and Levy found this strange. She followed them, holding her broken wrist.

"Surprise!" The whole Litanie shouted when they opened the trap door.

"You took your time!" Someone exclaimed.

"You're all dirty!" Someone else added.

Levy felt dizzy in this dense crowd. After all, for all this time, they had been alone, only the two of them. The members of Litanie didn't seem to be bad people, but their faces were harsh, marked by the hardness of life, it was as if their faces were silently telling something like 'Don't mess with me or you'll be sorry.' So Levy was merely smiling shyly, not daring to speak. Gajeel was almost silent too, only answering the questions by a single word, exhibiting clearly his bad mood, reproaching everyone this stupid idea that had almost made them run away. Finally, Lena took Levy's hand delicately and he found himself in the middle of the crowd, facing Natsu holding out a part of cake to him, eating his with the other hand.

Gajeel hesitated, then he eventually told himself he was already beyond the lines. He had gone against so many rules of survival, he had done so many stupid things. So in a quick motion he grabbed his part and shoved it into his mouth. He closed his eyes, surprised by this o so pleasurable taste invading his tongue. It tasted sweet, almost sour, it made him feel warm.

"What's with the face?" Natsu commented his mouth full "You're acting as if it's the first time you're eating a strawberry cake."

"Because it is, moron." He answered gruffly.

"Oh." A stunned Natsu uttered, and a few crumbs escaped his lips.

"Igneel never told you it wasn't good to eat normal food?"

"Oh?" Natsu repeated again. "No… Igneel never told that."

Suddenly Gajeel wondered what Igneel and Metalicana could have in common. After all, Natsu had always done a lot to find his dragon father. Gajeel didn't want to see Metalicana ever again.

"Was he cool, Igneel?" Gajeel asked before he took another mouthful of cake. This second bite felt even better than the first.

"How that?" Natsu asked, wondering were this conversation was going.

"Well I don't know. Was he reading stories to you when you were a kid? What words from him do you remember the most?"

Natsu's eyes turned sad, and yet he answered.

"Oh I don't know, a lot of things. Igneel almost didn't know how to read, so he didn't told me stories often, just food names, but he told me that there was still hope, that if you want something, if you really want it, you can get it, and also to rely on my friends, to believe in myself… well you know… the kind of thing normal parents say too I guess."

Gajeel went on with the feeling crushing his heart.

"He taught you how to fight?"

"Yep" Natsu stated with a mix of pride and nostalgia. "We were training every morning, until noon, and the afternoon we were paying, or making sky towers."

"Sky towers?" Gajeel asked. He regretted his question as soon as he spoke.

"Well yeah, he was taking me on his back, and we were flying above the desert, making looping, brushing the dunes. I enjoyed it when I was a kid… I think I would still enjoy it today…" Suddenly Natsu seemed to lose his nostalgic dreamy gaze.

"Metalicana wasn't doing this with you?" He asked in turn.

Gajeel preferred not to answer.

"Igneel never told you why he'd raised you?" He asked back.

"What do you mean?" Natsu wondered dubious.

That's when Gajeel snapped.

"You're really a complete idiot. Why do you think a dragon waste his time to teach magic to a human child? For fun?" He spat.

"Well er yeah I guess… for the same reason the humans have children, don't you think?"

"You're even dumber than you look." Gajeel growled angrily.

"Why?" Natsu replied, starting to lose his temper "What did Metalicana want you to do, huh?"

"He wanted me to kill Igneel." Gajeel spoke icily.

"What?!" Natsu snapped in turn "I swear if you ever…"

"Hey, relax!" Gajeel grunted "I don't really plan to kill anyone anymore. Unless someone asks for it, got it?"

Natsu eventually calmed down, as if the idea was slowly reaching his brain.

"So to sum it up…" He eventually said "Metalicana raised you, trained you and taught you to fight in order to kill Igneel, right?"

"Yeah." Gajeel answered, glad he was finally understanding.

"Daaaamn… holy crap…" Natsu groaned, looking dumbstruck as the idea finally reached his mind. There was a silence while they both kept eating their part of strawberry cake without a word.

"And how was Metalicana with you?" The fire Dragon Slayer asked again after a while.

"He was a fucking bastard." Gajeel answered. After this he stood and walked away, unwilling to keep talking about that. He realized that Levy had been right the day before. Until now, he'd doubted the way Metalicana had always treated him was normal, now he truly realized it. For the first time, this truth made him sad.

**X_x**

**Aw~! Poor Gajeel! TT_TT**

**See ya for the next one (don't know when sorry).**


	22. Alive

**Chapter 21: Alive**

**(by Pacifique)**

… **So! *_***

**I just hope you'll enjoy this, at least as much as I did.**

**I only own the translation. Sick and Litanie belong to Pacifique, Fairy Tail belong to Mashima.**

**X_x**

"There you are…" Lena whispered with a smile. Levy had remained silent since the light from the mage had been working on her wounded hand, watching in fascination. The blonde was emitting a calm aura, like a sweet peace. Levy wanted to stay with her to avoid to be in the middle of the threatening and lively crowd of Litanie.

The master right-hand man looked up at her will her big blue eyes, and Levy was overwhelmed by their soft beauty, the aura still bright around her face.

"You've been through difficult things Levy." She began. And the little Script mage felt tears prickling her eyes.

"Yes, but I'm okay…" She answered weakly.

"I know you're okay Levy, I feel it. But it doesn't mean you didn't suffer."

The Script mage nodded, hypnotized by the blue of her eyes.

"You fought so well that all those things won't reach you now, you realize it right?" Lena went on. "In my eyes, you are like a miracle, Levy, there's nothing dark that can live inside you for long. You spirit is a fantastic strength, such a powerful strength that you can do things without magic, things I can't do with magic…"

Levy nodded once more, overwhelmed by the emotion, by a weird calm.

"You can count on me." Lena said again, "You can rely on me to help you and Gajeel, I will as best as I could."

"Lena?" Killian's interrogative voice called from the other side of the corridor.

Within a second she was gone, like a feather swept by the wind. Levy straightened, took a second to come round. Then she resolved to go back the party; because of the crazy crowd that had surrounded them, she hadn't had the time to talk with Juvia, to ask news of the Fairy Tail members she missed so much, despite their incomprehension.

She was walking shyly on the brand new parquet, head bowed. She was bumping into amused and tipsy people, who were storming back to their rooms with violent and thoughtless gestures. By the way, she realized she didn't know where to sleep. Plus she was doubting Gajeel would accept to spend the night with her, here, openly and publicly. She didn't want to stay alone, in this unfamiliar place where she didn't feel safe. She looked down again when two demented-like boys whistled loudly at her.

"Not bad, the newbie!" One of them exclaimed. She shuddered, she didn't know how to defend herself here, she didn't know how to assert her rights. She was hoping she could lock the doors. From behind the doors, she was hearing suggestive noises despite herself. This place was different from Fairy Tail. Here was reigning a brutal and sickly atmosphere, uncontrollable.

She was almost relieved to find the stairs leading to the hall, following the round shape of the tower. But then, she froze. Before her were standing Méloée and Roxana. The two girls who were there the day Jet and Droy died.

"Hey you." Roxana began in a tone that spoke nothing good. As she talked, two little red lightnings were snaking around her fingers before her face.

"Where do you think you are?" The other emphasized, shaking her interminable blue hair.

"I… I'm not sure to understand." Levy answered weakly.

"Hear that Méloée? She's not sure to understand. It seems she isn't as smart as we were told."

The other burst out laughing, so Levy took a step back to put a maximum of distance between her and the electricity sparking from Roxana's hand.

"So I will enlighten you" The thunder mage spat "Méloée and I both wanted Gajeel. We settled this with a fight and she won. So don't you dare interfere. Since you're a Fairy Tail mage, we can't hurt you without earning problems, but if we have to we won't hesitate, am I clear?"

Levy watched them, one after the other, unable to believe it. Did she hear right? It was the magical force that commanded feelings. And what about Gajeel? Levy was scared, but she refused to give up. After all, the two girls would hesitate before attacking her, they told it themselves. Levy was scared but for a split of second, her intelligence got the upper hand.

"Did you think about what Gajeel want?" She asked suddenly, surprised despite herself by her own audacity.

Roxana laughed again.

"You really think we are brainless, huh? Of course we did. I know we belong to two different universes, but we aren't monsters. We and you are from different worlds. Gajeel belongs to ours, not yours, he belongs to the world of those who knew something other than a pretty villa, those who knows what's fighting and being hurt mean." Roxana had been acid. And now, Levy felt she knew what suffering meant.

"I've lost two friends of mine." She whispered with sadness, looking down.

They shared a giggle.

"Lost friends, we lost the count of them, pretty girl. This is life." Méloée answered almost with pride. "Gajeel needs a real woman, a curvy woman, a strong woman, a woman with guts. You… you're just a kid for him." She eventually spat.

"Completely flat." Roxana added with an arrogant grin as her hands went to press her own breasts to emphasize her words as if it was necessary.

Levy bit her lip. They walked passed her and pushed her, leaving her in the stairs, heart-rending. She eventually came down.

She wanted to convinced herself that those girls were wrong. But their words had reached their target, as sharp as knifes. She did her best to swallow her tears and tried to melt into the crowd, until she reached the table where the strawberry cake was gradually disappearing. She comforted herself with a piece of cake, alone amongst the dancing crowd enjoying the loud and enchanting music.

"Hey what's wrong?" Gajeel suddenly asked. She jumped and nearly dropped her plate.

"Apparently I'm not the only one who should relax." He commented with a smirk of his. A smirk that made her melt, bringing her wound back. Deep down, the girls might be stupid but they were right. All had seemed possible when Gajeel and Levy were far from here, from all, from their respective lives, as the adversity had brought them closer. But now that they were back, amongst the others, the very idea seemed stupid, impossible. It was obvious that someone like Gajeel had nothing to do with her. How could they understand and love each other, they were so different? It was impossible that someone like him, so strong, so powerful, so handsome (she had to admit), could possibly want her, small, weak, nice and flat kid, in every way possible?

She didn't want to answer, pretending to eat her cake.

"I thought we had to talk about wrong things…" He went on playfully. For a moment she thought it was someone else who talked.

"Well… I just met Roxana and Méloée" Levy resigned herself "And let's say… they mocked my physical appearance... and well I didn't appreciate."

"Rah, I swear I'm going to hit them." He was serious. Ready to trigger a fight just for her small and flat person. It was such an honor. She blushed and caught his hand.

"No no no no" She hastened to say "It's not big deal."

"Ah?" He whispered back. He watched her for a moment then he grabbed another piece of cake. She watched him in surprise in turn.

"What?" He asked with the mouthful.

"Nothing, nothing…it's just...before, you were…" She tried.

"I realized it was stupid. Plus, it's really good." He answered. Inexplicably, Gajeel looked almost in a good mood.

"Anyway don't listen those two girls. They have no brain. And to think that I got stuck with them all this time. Now that I not a double agent anymore, I can finally send them away with a flea in their ear, it will feel so good."

Levy felt relieved and she let his good mood finally get her, along with the pleasure to know that in spite of all, their journey was over. They remained silent, eating their cake, watching the others dance, fight more or less for fun, enjoy themselves. They talked a moment with Juvia who gave them some news about the Guild while Natsu had gone outside to fight a Litanie mage who had provoked him. Finally, Roxana came back and glared at Levy icily while Gajeel was folding his arms over his chest.

"The master asked me to show your rooms." She declared very coldly. Just after, she gave Gajeel an enticing smile that made Levy want to throw up. Without a word, they followed her in the stairs and the Script mage smiled again when Gajeel glanced at her knowingly.

They walked along the corridor filled with strange giggles, murmurs, staggering silhouettes.

"There you are." Roxana stated as she opened a first door. Levy waited the next move apprehensively. She had got used to sleep in Gajeel's arms.

"Thank you." The Dragon Slayer said sharply. "You can go now."

"But I have to…" Roxana tried.

"We're going to take only one room." Gajeel added.

"But…"

"Only one room." He repeated accenting each word. Levy was exulting inwardly, trying not to avail to hide her triumphant face. But suddenly, the door closed on them. The place was narrow and dark. They could barely stand tall. The bed was under the sloping roof, they'd have to be careful if they didn't want to hit the beam above. There was a small adjacent bathroom, made mainly of wood. Gajeel sat on the creaking bed. And now, Levy was watching him. Suddenly he looked definitely not well. So she came to sit beside him, confused, still feeling the joy when he had put Roxana in her place himself. She waited a moment. She felt he knew he couldn't escape an explanation about his sudden dark attitude. She was frightened to know what he was thinking.

"I should have asked you before doing this." He eventually stated.

"Doing what?" Levy asked completely lost.

"Well… maybe you wanted to sleep in peace, didn't you?" Levy felt herself blushing. Exactly, she wanted to sleep in peace, which mean with the idea that her personal bodyguard was just beside her, but also because she'd be with him, making sure no one else would take her place. For a moment, she wondered how she could explain this without raising thorny subjects again.

"No…" She eventually said… "not really." He looked relieved, so Levy felt relieved as well to see the debate was over. She was dreaming in silence that finally lance the boil, that finally he wondered what he should do about it and what he should understand. But as soon as the chances were arising, she did exactly like him: silence. She had miscalculated this time.

"Not really?" He repeated, anxious again. She had to stared at him to believe it. Suddenly she had the feeling that Gajeel was gentle, but he didn't seem to bear with it very well.

"Yes. I prefer sleeping beside you." She claimed weakly.

"Ah?" He stated, stunned.

"Don't you think I would have tell you if it bothered me?" She added, having suddenly the impression that this discussion would in spite of all be interesting, even if they were on a sticking wicket.

"Well… yeah… true." He fell back on the bed, which was rather large after all. It seemed the bedrooms of Litanie had been built for fun, after a party…

"Well… at the same time I was telling myself you would be a bit scared." He said again.

"And what should I be scared of?" Levy asked again, fearing the answer.

"Well… of me…I was… well you see." He tried, unsure.

"I know. But I hadn't been scared for long, you know. I knew before you told me I wasn't your hostage anymore. Only, it's hard for you to trust me, and as for me after all that happened I don't feel safe alone in the dark, so it was better for both of us?"

"Yes…" He whispered. There was a silence before he went on.

"But still, I should have clarify it before, I feel like…". There was another silence where he stopped breathing. Without understanding how, she felt he needed help, so she fell on the bed in turn. She was sure he was suffering at that moment, so wrapped her arms gently around his waist, placing his head on his torso to avoid locking eyes with him. The air escaped his lips in a sort of weird rattle.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Everything bad I did to you." She was speechless for a moment. It was hard to answer such sincere excuses, but he wasn't done yet.

"Actually, worst of all… worst of all, the thing I regret the most is when I forced you to tell me what you were hiding. You know I don't understand anything about those stuffs, but there is something I get, we can't play with it, it hurts more than anything."

He sighed again and she waited the next words, both stunned and completely incredulous. It was a different person, it was someone who was scared.

"There's a lot of people I should say this, I think so. But… most of them are dead. And the others hate me, so they wouldn't listen to me."

What can you respond to that? Saying it wasn't so bad? So she merely answered sincerely.

"As for me, I forgive you." She whispered.

"It doesn't make sense. I did nothing to pay my debt to you, I hadn't paid for what I did, had I?" He was talking tonelessly, slightly limply, like a sleepwalker. Levy was walking on thin ice.

"You paid a good part, Gajeel. Otherwise you wouldn't have been sick. You regret what you did, right? Remorse, it hurt, this is the price you're paying. I don't need anything else. We shouldn't need it. The fact you're feeling guilty shows that you are a good man now, don't you think?"

Still laid on his back, he merely shrugged. He didn't look convinced at all. They remained silent for a moment and almost by reflex Levy grabbed his wounded hand and her fingers stroked the limit of the metal eating his skin. Again his breath escaped his lips like a sort of low growl. She wondered if he felt better after his confession. She was hoping so, but she was doubting it.

"Actually, I can't picture how you could…" He began very quick. Levy was surprised. He had renounced to finish his sentence, apparently judging it was wrong. But letting the silence come back was out of question.

"I could what? Forgive?" She asked softly.

"No… you know me well… in the end even if I can't trust you yet, I know you understand what pushed me to do what I did, even if it doesn't make me a better man. But that you…"

Again he couldn't bring himself to finish, as if this thing was unspeakable. He was cursing himself inwardly. Why couldn't he go all the way and finally clarifying? If he remained silent, he would hurt her over again and he already caused enough suffering. However it was impossible to say it. He was scared she would laugh, mocking him, asking him how he could have believed such a thing, telling him he hadn't heard right. At the same time, he was sure she had tell it now, more certain than ever, he knew it was real and they had to do something about it now even if he didn't know what.

"I'm not sure I can explain this." She answered. Words didn't matter, she had already understood. And her blood froze. It was it. They were talking about _it_.

"The only thing I can tell you is this is a fact" She added. "I have feelings for you. I can't explain why. That's a part of what it means."

There was a new silence. He didn't know what to say after all.

"What else does it mean?" He eventually asked. It was Levy's turn to sighed irregularly due to her shyness.

"It's so sad… I can't believe I have to explain this. And I don't really know how to do."

"I'm sorry for this too." He declared. They were hugging each others, content with this position, she had him in her arms, they were close and together, and at the same time they couldn't see each others face.

"It's not your fault. Usually children have parents loving each others, so they see what it means." Levy said, still caressing his hand distractedly.

"Well yes… I know what it means." He answered almost offended suddenly. "Well I… I only don't know how to do. Well yes I know. It's just crazy. So if I follow you, to sum it up, you'd want us, you and me, to be… like a couple? A couple like the others? Do you realize it doesn't hold water?"

Those words hurt Levy, for a moment she thought he didn't want her. Deep down he was right. It didn't hold water. But she had to see this through, to be clear in her own mind about it, to be sure. After all, they will sleep in the same bed tonight.

"Why wouldn't it hold water?" Levy asked weakly, hiding as best as she could the tears threatening to pierce through her voice. "Yes, it's true, I want us to be a couple, but no one told we were forced to be a couple like the others, right?"

This time Gajeel stood, almost angry.

"But… because!" He exclaimed as if it was enough. She had stood too and they were facing each other now, he felt her sad eyes but he was almost mad at himself, so he elaborated:

"Because… because you're you and I… I am me, you understand?"

"So what?" She asked again as sobs were really breaking through her voice now.

"So…" He wanted to add. He had to pause because suddenly his anger was turning against himself, melting into an insatiable sadness. "Because I don't deserve this… and then, I'm going to hurt you after a while, it's obvious."

The two first tears rolled on Levy's cheeks and she looked down.

"Why would you?" She went on, finding somehow the strength to continue.

"Because, if you give me this thing you claim you have, I will only fear one thing, that someone take it back, you understand? And still, this is how I am. Everything I hold in my hands breaks."

Levy looked up at him, her eyes were almost blazing with anger. She dried her tears with a hand before talking.

"Maybe, but I'm still here after Mara, Kouria, Lorée and the rest. And I always will be. There's nothing you can do to break me. No matter what could happen, I'll stay here. How can you not understand this for all this time? The only question remaining now is what you want."

Gajeel chuckled bitterly as his anger was piercing the surface.

"I can't believe it… are you currently asking me if I want to stay with you or not? And you're accusing me not to see what's right before my eyes! I've kidnapped you in case you forgot, I've taken you with me by force, why do you think I have, huh? Do you think I can possibly want anything or anyone else?"

Levy's eyes were still locked on his, her cheeks were still wet with tears but her gaze had changed. A new glimmer was shining inside and reached his heart at full force. For the first time of his life, Gajeel was about to get what he wanted the most. At the same moment, he realized it was the first time he was pondering on this question. The question of what he really wanted, suddenly he was conscious he had always wanted, as far as he remembered, to have someone like her, not to stay alone, as far as he remembered he always had been jealous of the couples, the friends, the unbreakable families. Only he had always rejected this feeling somewhere deep inside himself. All he had always wanted and needed was striking him like a thunderstorm. He had wanted Levy from the start, her whole being, her witty remarks and her body that had burned him every night they'd spent together. Now all he needed to do was reached for her, nothing more.

Gajeel wasn't dead in this crater, he wasn't dead. He was here, alive. Since this special day, it was as if the air was filling his lungs for the first time. He had survived. Nothing else was making sense now. He had the feeling he had just escaped the lava, he had just been saved. What a long time it took.

So he closed the distance between them and kissed her. He didn't know how it worked, but for now he didn't care.

**X_x**

**One word: FINALLY! *0***

**Pacifique would like to have your point of view about this leap forward: "do you think it happened to soon?"**

… **-_-' As far as I'm concerned, I'll say it's been 22 chapters I've been waiting for this!**


	23. To save and to destroy

**Chapter 22: To save and to destroy**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Yo! Sorry to be late, I was quite busy. And now I'm tired and not in the mood, so I'll just go to bed and let you read for once. Please enjoy or whatever, I don't care. (and for the day I'll feel better and regret my harshness: sorry about that).**

**I only own the translation. Sick and Litanie belong to Pacifique, Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima (who seemed to forget that Gajeel ever exists in his own manga. Yeah, very bad mood, sorry -_-).**

**X_x**

"I can't do that." He said suddenly falling on his back. Taken by surprise she was speechless, she had to catch her breath, calm the trembling of her body and the frustration running through her veins. Everything had begun so perfectly. Gajeel loved the actions to the detriment of words, the situation following their conversation had seemed logical, obvious. But apparently things were more complicated. She was almost naked and so was he. He had backed away at the last moment. She was distraught to see how fear had suddenly replaced desire on his face. She could understand that Gajeel was frightened by his own guilt, or by some monster that had haunted his past. But this, she couldn't believe it. Deep inside she'd been sure it wasn't his first time, now she had doubts. It was a first for her, well it should have been, but she wasn't that scared. She wasn't scared at all. She trusted him.

"Why?" She asked slightly breathless.

"Because it's… it's not good for you." He declared.

"What?" Levy answered dumbstruck. Killing was bad, making people suffer was bad, destroying an H.Q was bad, but this? Unless he was thinking like a fervent monk preaching the abstinence… there was certainly something she didn't know. After all, she knew a few about Gajeel, well she knew more than anyone, but it didn't mean much.

"I'm sorry." He added. Those words had taken so long to escape his lips, and now he was overusing them.

"Er… it's not big deal… I suppose… but… can you explain?"

As an answer he sighed. She waited patiently. She cuddled against him and pulled the blanket over them. It was rather cold at Litanie.

"I've seen people do this too many times." He eventually confessed, as if he was scared again.

"I'm not sure to understand…" She whispered back. She wasn't sure she wanted to know deep inside, but she had to.

"What I was about to do with you, it's the same thing those two guys wanted to do with you back to Lorée."

Levy suddenly remembered that day she wanted to forget, but she also remembered the rest, Mara and the people's hungry gazes, Johan's comments. Gajeel had been forced to repeat an incalculable number of times that no, she wasn't a prostitute. Somehow he was right. Logically she should have been bothered by those kind of memories moments earlier. But she hadn't, and she knew why.

"Actually no" She explained, suddenly confident "It's two completely different things."

He looked surprised, as if she'd just told something absurd.

"Technically… it is the same. Do you need more details?"

She eventually laughed, even if it wasn't really funny.

"No need." She answered more seriously. "I agree technically this is the same thing, but the difference is I accept to do it with you. No, I want to do it with you. If no one was doing it... humanity would have extincted centuries ago."

"I know…" He eventually growled "I'm not stupid."

Levy knew that Gajeel wasn't. Simply there was something behind this all, she just needed to know what.

"I always refused to do it. The first time we made a raid to Lorée, each of us had received a girl, it was the deal. But I never could do it."

"You never did it?" Levy asked slightly surprised. The reaction wasn't the one she expected. He had a backlash, so violent she almost fell from the bed while he straightened against the back wall just under the roof.

"No, of course not, who do you take me for?" Apparently there had been some misunderstanding.

"Yes I know, I mean I was sure – I don't know why – you've already done it with a consenting girl."

Relief seemed to run through his body and he allowed himself to lay beside her again, chuckling in a weird way.

"I can't picture anyone but you who'd be willing to have me."

"I don't know. You're very handsome Gajeel."

He remained silent, before he burst out laughing.

"What!" Levy took offense "I was serious!" But he was still laughing, so she beat her small fists against his stomach to get some revenge, hiding her blush in the dark. He was still cracking with laughter until the moment she climbed on top of him, to grip his hands and break his defenses against her ridiculous attack.

"I'm going to show you…" Levy suddenly purred "that this is different."

He rolled his eyes to heaven, before his smirk was back. Finally he let himself go under her touch. The least she could say when they were finished was it was very different from what she'd expected, but she felt in heaven when she fell asleep in his arms. As for him, Gajeel had the wonderful feeling this perfect moment would last forever, they were exactly meant for each other, from the beginning it had been written before he even knew it. But on the other hand he couldn't believe it, the disagreeable sensation keeping his eyes open. He was feeling something was wrong in this perfect picture. This something was himself. He had taken someone else's place, so the only thing he could do was living the present moment before everything crumble around him one more time. It was the only possible option, the only conceivable sequel he could see. When your hopes climbed so high and reached heaven, you could only come back down to earth.

**X_x**

You could have sworn a massacre had wracked Litanie that night. All the tables were knocked over or broken, the remains of the strawberry cake were spread on the floor, tens of bodies were lying in the hall, unmoving, sprawled over the broken furniture, the whole place perfectly silent. If someone had wanted to exterminate them the result would have been the same. The brand new bar had been ripped open literally.

So he was rather disappointed when he entered. He wanted to perform a massacre by himself, but they had practically beaten him to it. The door wasn't even closed. If it wasn't for the loud snores, he would have thought they were all dead.

The guilds… each of them had their own culture. His informants had told him the three persons he was looking for were part of Fairy Tail. But once he arrived there, none of the three were there. The mages of this clean reputation guild (well not to mention the public goods destruction) were up early, interacting with each other peacefully or getting ready for a job. He had thought bitterly that is his story had been different, and his destiny more clement, he could have been part of something alike too.

They had sweetly explained to him that two of those he was looking for were visiting friends from another guild. The last one had deserted long ago, after a terrible betrayal. He'd heard this one had kidnapped one of their members. It was much more like what he was hunting. He would never have thought his preys could be found at Fairy Tail, example of courage and righteousness. It had seemed so paradoxical that in the end he hadn't been surprised not to find them here. He couldn't have believe it, if he had seen the three of them, those three monsters talking cheerfully, being part of the wonderful guild.

However the place before his eyes now, with the smell of alcohol, seemed much more favorable. He understood why the Fairy Tail mages had been so disdainful as they uttered the name of Litanie.

Careful not to awake anyone, he strode over the lifeless bodies, some of them were slightly bashed up. And then suddenly he was before him, his arms and legs sprawled, his naked chest glistening with alcohol, his pink hair and his childish face. Beside him a little blue cat was sleeping. But there was no doubt, it was him. Natsu Dragneel, one of the most terrible Dragon Slayer, one of his greatest enemies, was here, asleep at his feet, a dribble of saliva dangling from his mouth. He was definitely more and more disappointed. He considered hitting him right now, right here on the hall. But on second thought, he decided it wasn't clever to get on Litanie's bad side, especially when he'd heard about the master's redoubtable power. So, he grabbed his foot, slightly disgusted and dragged him outside. The pink haired boy merely grunted in his sleep. The little cat beside him didn't even awoke. How appalling.

"Hey!" A voice suddenly rang. He turned around, still holding Natsu by his heel. She had blue hair, she was rather short, she was cute.

"You are Wendy, aren't you?" He asked playfully.

"Er… yes… I… I am Wendy." She stammered as she stepped forward, her little dress floating in the sea wind. She was definitely stupid.

"Good." He answered.

The young Dragon Slayer wanted to say something, but his magic was faster, and she lost consciousness. Natsu stirred but he was knocked down again by this invisible strength, without a single sound.

**X_x**

Levy and Gajeel awoke more or less at the same time, suddenly happy to be alive. The little mage stretched then went to take a shower, while he remained on the bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to believe his own chance. She came back as fresh as a daisy, her eyes slightly red, and he stared at her for a moment, wondering if she was real.

"What?" She asked in embarrassment.

"Nothing…" He whispered. And then he wanted to laugh. She looked slightly sullen, so he fled in turn into the bathroom. Then they went down, hand in hand. Levy would have been proud to show her little victory, but there was no one to watch them. The silence was only shattered by the regular breaths, the hall was a battlefield after the fight.

"Wow…" Levy could only comment.

"At Fairy Tail… we were angels comparing to them." Gajeel smiled back. It happened that Fairy Tail turn into a real mess after a party, but it never reached such a bloody mess, it was true. Levy felt a pang of bitterness in her belly. 'Was'. So that was really in the past? For him obviously, but maybe it was for her too, now. But she didn't want to think about it, not this morning.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs Levy stumbled over a sleeping body and Gajeel caught her just before she fell on a second sleeping corpse. They both laughed.

"In my opinion they didn't only took alcohol." He commented again.

"You think so?" Levy asked.

His answer was a chuckle. It smelled awful. So he slalomed between the bodies and opened a window, and the door creaked, opening on the blue sky.

"Oh boy! The door had remained open the whole night." Levy said. They found themselves near the remains of the table where the cake from the day before had been placed. Gajeel smelled the air. In a nonchalant gesture he grabbed part of an iron table where a piece of cake had survived the fight. He shoved everything into his mouth all at once and Levy giggled. She was hungry but here there was nothing she wanted to swallow. She was about to clear herself a path toward the kitchen when suddenly Gajeel took a breath.

"Levy?" He had straightened, his nose high in the air, his eyes telling he'd caught something wrong.

"Did you see Natsu?" He asked. The young Script mage glanced at the sleeping bodies for a moment before she gave her answer.

"Er… I don't think so." She answered.

Gajeel took another breath. He was at the doorstep.

"And Wendy?"

"Nope. Maybe they left early?" Levy suggested.

"Natsu? Leaving early? No chance. There's a third scent with theirs. It smells wrong. I'm going."

"I come too." Levy added quickly, unwilling to find herself in the middle of a Litanie that wasn't sober yet.

Gajeel sighed, hesitated then eventually nodded. He took her hand and the sun outside hurt their eyes. Early she'd said? It was at least noon, had they slept so long? Certainly. Gajeel stopped suddenly and knelt. He grabbed a grass clump and smelled it. Levy thought he looked like an animal as she saw him focused, he was a hunter. She let him do without a word, not to disturb him.

"This is bad. Natsu had been dragged here. And Wendy was following."

He took a few steps forward.

"She fell too, right here."

They began to run, panicked. He had grabbed her hand. Breathless they reached the forest lining Magnolia. Gajeel took another deep breath again before he rushed forward. Fast enough they heard pieces of voices. And suddenly a scream follow.

"Natsu." Levy whispered. Gajeel gripped her shoulders roughly and made her face him, boring his hard gaze into her eyes violently.

"You're going to run. You're going to go back to Litanie and barricade the door, got it?"

"But I…"

"Do what I say." He said with such a force she obeyed. If she wanted things to go back in order, she had to let him protect her as he wanted to. And she certainly wouldn't be very useful in a fight beside him.

Somewhere on their left Natsu screamed again, and a strange laughter rand between the trees.

"Go!" Gajeel ordered.

Levy began to run toward Litanie, she tripped over a dead tree trunk but was back on her feet the following second.

"Attacking the enemies after a drunkenness night… it ain't Fair Play." Gajeel seemed so sure, sure to win this fight.

"I don't need civilities with monsters." Another voice spat.

"What did you say?" Natsu's tired voice spat with all the anger he could. Things were going to be okay, Levy was sure of it.

At least… she was sure until she heard screams, their screams, in unison. They were already both defeated on the ground. But what was this invisible magic? Shaking but taking her courage in both hands, Levy turned around and very slowly, without a noise, she went near the battlefield.

They were here both of them, knelt before their enemy, the hands into the grass and the leafs of the forests. They still hadn't given up. It seemed that Gajeel had inherited this from Fairy Tail too, this stubbornness nearing the madness, or maybe he had always been like that. After all he had almost died several times. And he was still here.

The mage who had attacked him was tall, with deep brown hair, big blue eyes, he could have looked like a child who had grown too fast if he hadn't this hideous scar crossing his face. It seemed his eye had been miraculously saved. His magic was invisible, but since the Dragon Slayers were gritting their teeth, it was still working. Wendy had been placed like an old bad against a tree, her little head tilted on the side.

Levy decided to thread her way around the scene, between the trees. If she got caught, she'd become a burden for her friends. She had to find a discreet efficient way to neutralize this aggressor. She began to progress slowly, searching carefully the dead branches that could betray her presence, until an idea crossed her mind.

"Silence." She whispered very softly, her two fingers glued. Then she tried to utter a word, but no sound was heard. It'd worked. She found herself quickly behind the aggressor, unable to find something smart to do.

"I'm not going to kill you… yet… you're going to suffer for long if you keep resisting…"

"What… do you want?" Gajeel grunted through the pain. Natsu threw him a vindictive look. For the Fairy Tail mage, giving up was out of question, he had his pride.

"I want to kill you. But first, I need to know where your parents are. Well, when I say parents… I'm talking about the dragons that raised you."

Gajeel looked down and suddenly Levy saw his skin turning into iron, he looked in pain as if the degeneration was threatening him. She cursed herself for not having acted earlier, but she didn't know what to do.

"What do you want with them?!" Natsu demanded as, in renewed energy, his body turned into flames. No one dared to threaten Igneel in his presence and get away with it. Some of his enemies had learned this lesson to their greatest despair, for a moment Levy thought the fight would fall over, when she saw him taking a deep breath, but just when the flames were about to burst he collapsed again. The man chuckled, but unlike Johan or Robert when they performed ignominies, he didn't seem to have fun.

"I want to destroy them too." Natsu ignited again but he collapsed one more time. Levy was thinking fast and hard, but she could only focus on Gajeel's iron body, his eyes on the ground and silence surrounding him. Soon it would be too late to do anything. To solve this problem she had to understand the origin of this magic.

The man chuckled again… and as if he had guessed Levy's thoughts he explained suddenly:

"There no need to fight you know? My magic had been specifically born to kill Dragon Slayers and Dragons. No need to be almighty… sometimes all you need is a bit of intelligence… I am a doctor you know, I'm saving lives, instead of destroying them."

Suddenly Levy saw Gajeel's eyes turned glassy. This man had to shut his mouth, it was capital. Natsu was mad with rage but he was still powerless. He made them both scream again, as if he was punishing them, and the little Script mage fought against tears.

"This is all dragons and their children can do… fighting, and destroying."

_'No need to be almighty… sometimes all you need is a bit of intelligence.'_ He had said. But Levy suddenly thought he was forgetting something essential: the courage. Still silent, she stepped forward. For the first time of her life, she was acting without a plan, but she could remain motionless and stand this torture for another second. Stealthily, she approached him from behind, on her way she found a huge rock. She gripped her weapon and kept advancing while he was still making them suffer. Natsu's eyes widened, but Gajeel didn't even see her. She had to act before the reactions betray her. So she put all her strength in this gesture and threw the rock on the aggressor's head. He collapsed with a thud. She rubbed her hands to dust them, satisfied and relieved.

"Levy…" Natsu exclaimed, sounding as if he'd never been happier to see her.

"Are you alright?" The little Script mage asked, but the words weren't for Natsu. Both of them stared at Gajeel who was still on his knees, his iron fingers sinking into the earth, his teeth gritted, his eyes defeated.

"Oh..." Natsu whispered.

"Find something to tie that guy, and bring Wendy back to Litanie… I'll take care of him."

Without saying a word for once the Dragon Slayer obeyed, and left with the man's inanimate body on one of his shoulders and Wendy's on the other.

"Gajeel?" Levy tried. He didn't answer, his body was shaking. She knelt in front of him, to look into his eyes.

"It's alright. He's K.O, it's over…"

He looked up, sending her a desperate look.

"Breath deeply… you'll manage to go back to yourself. You're feeling better, remember?" Levy reassured him.

He nodded and she felt the air filling his lungs once more. He shook himself awkwardly before he managed to sat. she was reading a glimmer of fury in his eyes.

"This is…" He managed to utter "Ridiculous."

"But no it's not. He said the last things you needed to hear right now. I don't know where this guy comes from, but he's wrong, okay? It's not because you are Dragon Slayers that you're forced to do bad things around you, the idea is stupid, right?"

He shook his head in return.

"He should have come years earlier." He whispered and the iron armor gave way to his raw skin, as if it had been burned by the lava.

"And on his way he would have killed Wendy and Natsu, thinking they were bloody monsters? As for you, do you think the one you've become now deserves to die? It's him who becomes a monster by doing this. He thinks he's accomplishing a noble cause, but he's just fueled by the desire of revenge, by the want to fix something he suffered, don't you think?" Levy added as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Yeah…" He whispered, looking unconvinced.

"I won't let anyone hurt you…" Levy still added. He didn't answer, uncommunicative. So she hugged him, and they remained silent, as a calm gust of wind was rocking the trees in a soft murmur. He eventually laughed.

"A rock… you didn't find anything better?"

"Er… No… we can't all be a mighty Dragon Slayer you know." Levy blushed and he laughed again. He stood and he stretched a hand to help her back on her feet too. A hand he didn't let go of. There was another peaceful silence, a gust of wind. She was savoring with relief the fact that for once there was no bad ending. The seizure had barely been avoided. Finally they felt like their constant problems were over.

"Er… thanks." Gajeel suddenly whispered without watching her.

"Er… you're welcome… I suppose. Do you think I was going to let you die? We love each other remember."

He froze suddenly, stopping in his track. For a moment he saw himself drowning into the lava again, crushed by the endless blue sky. Metalicana who'd disappeared, Igneel who had leave him in the middle of the desert, the sun biting his burned skin. And every time he'd stood alone after a fight. This old man who had saved him from drowning had abandoned him too. Alone.

For the first time of his life someone had helped him, truly helped him, because he was someone special. Someone had risked one's life for him. For him, who had taken so many lives. He was both filled with joy and fear by this thought. In any way it seemed unreal, like an impossible fact. It wasn't how things were supposed to happen. If he was weak he was supposed to die, he didn't understand why he was allowed to receive this gift all of a sudden. He was angry too. Maybe he could have had the right to be saved from this crater. He'd been a child, an innocent child at that time, and everyone had left him, all alone.

"What?" Levy suddenly asked, surprised.

"Er… nothing." He answered maladroit. She looked unconvinced, but didn't push him further. He was grateful for this. He didn't want to talk about sad things either. Not today, not his first day of non-solitude. He was angry at this bastard, for having destroyed that day. It was as if the sun couldn't rise and set without someone had to remind him of the horror of his nature, of his past.

**X_x**

**So, what do you think about this new character? Where does he come from? ...don't look at me I don't know! Only one person knows!**

**What about the new turn in the GaLe relation? OOC? Credible? Good? Not good?**


	24. The power of words

**Chapter 23: The power of words**

**(by Pacifique)**

**Guess who? (readers: ...you? -_-) YEAH RIGHT! What a surprise!**

**I'm sorry for the terrible delay, I've been horribly busy and tired and... and... well lazy too. *gumble* Anyway here it is! We're approaching the end. Indeed the story is over in its french version. 2 chapters left after this one (I'll try to translate them as soon as possible).**

**Please enjoy!**

**I only own the translation. Sick and Litanie belong to the great and mighty Pacifique (^3^). Fairy Tail belongs to Mashima (don't know if I love him or hate him now, especially since the end of the dragon "fight". Fortunately there's still the fanfictions to remain us there's a lot of characters in Fairy Tail other than Natsu and Lucy).**

**X_x**

When Gajeel and Levy reached Litanie their aggressor was sitting on the floor, a look of defiance painted on his face. He was surrounded by a black watery cloud swindling his shape. Dark curl of smoke were swirling around his body. Killian was standing beside him, focused. Lena was watching him without blinking. Wendy was sitting on a remaining chair people found amongst the broken pieces. She was slowly recovering. Litanie was whole awake. Everyone was fidgeting and little by little a real crowd were gathering around the intruder. The Iron Dragon Slayer grabbed Levy's hand without thinking and he made her split the little crowd.

"He didn't speak yet." Natsu commented sounding disappointed. "I still didn't understand a thing about his speech about the dragons…" Disappointed… it was more than deception. Levy understood that Natsu hadn't been indifferent either. She felt suddenly it wasn't a coincidence if he turned mad whenever people called him a monster. Now she felt angry, so before the whole Litanie, still holding Gajeel's hand, she stepped forward. Someone had hurt the man she loved, someone had touched Natsu's feelings, someone had insulted Igneel. The Fairy Tail mages didn't need more to show how upset they could be, using their magic, or even a mere rock.

"Who do you think you are, huh?" She began. "You think that Natsu, Wendy and Gajeel are monsters, right? You think they are heartless or have no morality? Do you only know them?"

The man began to smile through the fog created by Killian, preventing him to use his mysterious magic.

"What about you, young girl? Do you only know whose hand you are holding?" He answered almost playfully.

"I know better than anyone whose hand I am holding. And do you know why? Because I've bothered to wonder who he was before judging. Instead of trying to make me doubt my friends, tell me who you are to hurt them even though you know nothing about their lives."

"I know enough. I know where they come from, what they are. I know we need to get rid of them, before it's too late. If a few lives are sacrificed now, hundreds would be saved." He answered. This time a sad look spread on his face. Lena let a strange whimper escape but her eyes were still riveted on Killian as if the black sphere were depending on her as much as on him.

"And you think the place they come from is enough to tell who they are? Anyway, you're not in position to hide things from us. Natsu is very angry, because you've insulted his father. If you still remain silent, you're going to suffer his wrath."

As an agreement Natsu turned his fist into flames and his eyes shone menacingly. Gajeel on the contrary was standing motionless, looking down. It was vital to shut this moron up.

"My name is Dexter" He began "In my family, we are doctors from generation to generation. My parents were brilliant specialists who were just doing research about a disease striking in the neighbour village. They were about to find a cure when a dragon came. All of a sudden, without warning, it decimated my village."

He paused and looked down. He seemed convinced that his story would reach at least one of them. And it was true. Levy was moved, truly, but it wasn't enough to calm her, it was still unfair. As for Gajeel, he still hadn't looked up.

"I was the only survivor… I was eight. I went to the next village to find help. They welcomed me warmly, but after some months, my foster parents and the whole village died from this mysterious disease. No matter where I went I was hearing storied about dragons spreading death. They are a danger for everyone, along with their magic, I knew they had to disappear. So I've created a medicine-related magic. I control the living matter, all that compose the body. I'm not very powerful, but after all, there's no need of a mighty power to compress the right artery, or titillate the right nerve. I'm not the only one who think this way even if I'm the only one who have the guts to act. I've always found people on my path who were supporting me, which mean…"

Levy hadn't felt Gajeel boiling through her hand. She jumped when suddenly he let her go, to plunge his hand into the black liquid. He lifted the doctor high in the air.

"You're truly a complete moron. Instead of wasting your time hating those who took everything from you, you should using it to thank those who helped you. Tell me you bastard, what would you have done if you'd have been left all alone in the middle of the ruins of this village, huh? What would you have become if no one had taken care of you? Nothing. Nothing at all."

Levy stepped back, slightly scared. At the same time she was relieved. If Gajeel was mad, that meant he was believing what he just said, he was finally understanding everything she'd tried to tell him. The Dragon Slayer forced Dexter to watch Natsu and added:

"See my friend here? He had been raised by a dragon whose name was Igneel. Did you ever meet Igneel? You know him? You knew he was flying with him above the plains to have fun when he was a kid? You knew he taught him to always do good ad believe in his friends? You're speechless? You wasn't expecting this from a dragon huh? While you're killing innocents, he's saving lives, everyday. Spontaneously. With his own hands."

He whirled Dexter's struggling body toward a tearful Wendy.

"And now watch Wendy. Watch her carefully. See. Do you see her tears? It's a kid. A kid who was gifted with a healing magic. If she had been there, in your fucking village, everyone would have been saved. You feel stupid now huh? Anyway, you look like a complete moron."

He took a deep breath to contain his anger, to prevent his fingers to break his neck under the influence of the emotion.

"As for me I'm not perfect, it's true, but I've learned some stuffs. We don't choose the place we come from or the ones we're losing. But after we make choices. We can always make the good choice if we have people who guide us. Sorry, It's not my fault I was raised by a Dragon. But now I'm here, I have friends who support and who believe in me. I don't know if I deserve to live but they think I do. They risked their asses for me even though they're not like me and you can't just close your eyes to it."

Dexter wanted to retort something but he didn't allow him.

"And you, you think you have more right to live than I? You want to compare our records? Tell me, how many people did you kill? How many people did you give the chance to make you see what's obvious? No collateral damages, you're sure?"

He looked down for a moment and Gajeel dropped him. He crossed his arms over his chest. There was a silence no one dared to break. Then again Dexter looked up, with tearful eyes.

"I've killed three Dragon Slayers and a few mages with the same kind of magic. I've found two Dragons but the last one's body crashed on a boat when it died."

"How many persons aboard?" Gajeel asked icily.

"900 officers." Dexter breathed.

"The names of the Dragons!" Natsu demanded.

"I…"

Natsu in turn plunged his hand into Killian's whirlwind.

"The names!" He threatened.

"Metalicana and… Grandeeney."

Suddenly Lena gripped her head in her hands. She didn't scream, just sobbed. But the blonde mage's eyes had left the target, the black liquid cloud swelled and suddenly everyone was struck by a terrible pain. It lasted for a few seconds, then everything went black.

When Levy regained consciousness, she couldn't feel her left hand anymore. Panicked, she opened her eyes. He was still there, her white fingers gripping Gajeel's who was blinking too. She sighed with relief. They were still in the middle of a devastated Litanie. She could hear multiple angry whispers again. The sentences were getting muddled up.

"No fucking way, Killian!"

"When will you learn…"

"You gotta be kidding me…"

"What have we done to deserve such a master, what a mess…"

"Please." Lena's voice sounded somewhere. And then Killian appeared.

"I know!" He shouted. "I'm sorry I lost my control once again but you know I can't help it!"

"And the other, she's not supposed to help you?"

"Yes, but…"

"No buts! You can't let things degenerate like this."

"I don't do it on purpose!"

"Oh shut it. Everyone calm down. No one would want to be in his place." Levy was surprised when she recognized Roxana's voice. That sharp remark brought the silence back.

"Those who're hurt or weakened, go see Lena."

Levy straightened. She hugged Gajeel tight to insure he was alright before she stood completely. He seemed worried, he didn't seem to see her anymore. Before her, Lena was moving her hands frantically, her tearful eyes on Killian.

"Well okay forget what I said. Lena had to take care of Wendy first I guess." Wendy… Levy search for her. She was far at the bottom of the room, her arms hugging her knees in the middle of the destroyed place. Her eyes were empty. Lena slowly stepped toward her, surrounded by a soft light. She hugged the little Dragon Slayer and they began to cry in unison. No one dared to comment.

"If I catch this son of a…" Natsu's voice suddenly sounded right behind Levy.

"Dexter!" She suddenly shouted "Where is he?" Of course he wasn't here anymore.

"Fucking shit!" Gajeel swore.

"This fucker killed Grandeeney." fit Natsu stated between his teeth.

"And he wanted to kill Igneel." The Iron Dragon Slayer added.

"And he killed Metalicana…" Natsu added. Levy was surprised because for the first time of his life, he seemed to be tactful, he had said that more softly. Unfortunately, this precaution was useless.

"I think this is the only smart thing he ever did." Gajeel began as cold as a stone. Levy was taken aback again. To hate his own parent was something, to be scared of him too, but to be satisfied of his death… the little Script mage felt her heart bleed. There were still a lot of things she didn't know about Gajeel, about his suffering. Despite herself, she held his hand tighter. But he didn't seem to notice.

"Well should we go? We're not going to wait and let him escape. Now we know we just have to take him by surprise, we'll go by the airs."

"Happy!" Natsu yelled.

"Aye sir!" The little blue cat answered.

Gajeel grabbed Levy's shoulders.

"You stay here, you don't move from here, okay? Take care of Wendy." She nodded, feeling like she was his hostage again. Deep inside, it wasn't so unpleasant. Then the three of them were gone. Levy sighed. She was slightly worried.

"Can't anyone go with them?" She asked by any chance. A sharp voice answered.

"It would be a blow to their dignity. But you, you don't know what dignity is." Méloée was standing just behind her. She turned around. As she saw her, buxom and feminine, so mature, so womanly, Levy wondered why Gajeel had seen in her little flat body. But now, she was certain he was hers now.

"I have another conception of dignity." Levy answered lifting her chin as best as she could. "For me, it's despicable to leave someone alone when we could help. We solve the problems together because together we're stronger. Because it brings us together even more."

"So go after him, then? Since you appear to be the person who care for him the most, now." Levy was beaming as she answered.

"Yes it's true. That's why I'm going to do exactly what he wants from me: I'll take care of Wendy. Lena apart, no one here in this Guild is strong and brave enough to comfort someone."

With this, she walked toward Wendy and her pride crumbled like a house of cards. Lena was still there, but she was failing. Her back was also against the wall now, her eyes empty, her hand holding the little Dragon Slayer's, as if their two bodies were belonging to one mind.

"Levy…" Lena stammered as tears filled her eyes. It didn't take much time before the little Script mage understood what was happening. This blonde mage must have the gift to feel the pain of the others, as if it was hers. So here she was, completely broken.

"I'm sure her last thought was for you." Levy whispered to Wendy. She wrapped her arms around her in turn.

"It's gonna be okay…" She added "We're here, we'll take care of you." Juvia had joined them too. She didn't say anything, her face emotionless. She simply hugged her. She was too proud to talk, but she felt the same. Little by little Lena seemed to grab onto reality again. She stood in a hurry and left to heal the mages of Litanie who were still grumbling against their master. But it was more to put their minds at rest than anything else.

Around them paradoxically the Guild was getting back into order. The mages were rubbing the back of their skull to chase the headache, still staggering they were standing up the tables again, getting rid of the debris. For the first time since Levy had come here, the silence was floating over Litanie.

**X_x**

Natsu and Gajeel were taken aback when they arrived through the sky. It seemed that Happy had gotten tired for nothing as he'd carried both of them with his small arms, awkwardly. Dexter was knelt near the river. He was soaked as if he had washed his face but that it wasn't enough. Now he was watching, his eyes wide open, their prey was reeking of distress.

"I'm going to knock him off" Gajeel whispered.

"Be careful…" Natsu whispered back.

"Yeah… dying like this is too simple. I want him to go in front of the Council."

"Yeah… me too."

It was a Dragon Slayer conversation, no human ear could hear it. When he raised his iron arm Gajeel felt torn. This guy looked so weak all of a sudden, he was completely at his mercy, ravaged by the pain as he was realizing all the bad things he'd done round him. He had known that too, he knew how much it could consume the soul, how much it made you want to die. Plus, this guy had killed Metalicana. He had killed his worst enemy for him. And then he saw Wendy's tears. So he struck. There was thud and Dexter collapsed into the river.

"Ah crap." Gajeel swore. Natsu who hated water stared at him with compassionate gaze as he stepped into the river and lift the sleepy body. Without further delay he threw him over his shoulder. Without a word, he and Natsu walked back to Litanie.

"Gajeel…" The fire Dragon Slayer asked suddenly. "If you had found Metalicana, would you have killed him yourself?"

"Yeah…" The Iron Dragon Slayer breathed. He thought about it for a minute. He would have killed him certainly… or he would have cried like a little girl, submersed by the waves of memories of the crater and his last words, his cavernous voice he knew by heart.

"Sometimes…" Natsu confessed "I'm angry at Igneel because he left me."

"Moron. You said yourself he was cool, and he loved you. Why would he have left you behind like that suddenly? Maybe he knew that the other bastard was after him." He had disdainfully jerked his chin toward his load, dripping with water.

"Yeah… at the same time it's weird to find yourself like this, alone, all of a sudden." Natsu went on. For a second Gajeel had to choke back his tears. He knew this feeling too.

"You bet."

There was a silence even Happy didn't dare to break.

"Anyway. Maybe you'll see him again someday." Gajeel added to break this heavy silence.

Hope seemed to enlighten Natsu again.

"It's true. He didn't kill him. So he's still alive. Somewhere. He's strong. He won't be defeated so easily."

"He'd have been proud of you." And Gajeel was proud of himself. He just managed to comfort someone. Natsu smiled at him, and he smiled back. He thought for a moment he must look like an idiot, slightly perplex. So he looked down and there was another moment of silence. Finally Happy talked.

"Levy and you…" He began.

"Yeah…" Gajeel cut with a sigh. Natsu turned his head toward him so suddenly that he collided with Dexter's head hanging from Gajeel's shoulder.

"What, Levy and you?" He asked as he raised his brows.

"They liiiiiiiiiiiiiikes each other!" The little cat explained with his legendary tactfulness. Gajeel smiled again, slightly awkward. Natsu made no comment, strangely. Finally the Iron Dragon Slayer was delight as he realized there was someone on earthland who was more clueless as he was about human relationships.

**X_x**

When they came back to Litanie, the hall had been slightly cleaned. The only remaining problem was the ripped bar. Someone had been charged to get some new tables in the town. Levy and Wendy were still hugging each other in a corner, and no one seemed to see them. There was a murmur of approbation when they entered with the sleeping body. The people of Litanie were happy to see that the spoilsport didn't get off lightly. After all, even if he wasn't after the people of the Guild, he had kidnapped someone in their hall. Not to mention they had to erase the story about the open door. Killian headed at them, looking serious.

"What now?" He asked.

"Well we have to drag him before the Council." Natsu answered.

Suddenly the silence fell on the Guild.

"What?" Someone choked.

"Are you insane?" Méloée growled.

"Actually…" Killian began, as if he was fearing Natsu's anger "We're a non-official Guild. Several of us had troubles with justice and…"

"So what?" Natsu interrupted "You do want to become official, right? The best way to reach this goal is obvious, you have to cooperate with the Council, so you can prove them that for once they are right to give you a chance, you can help them to nab the criminals. This guy caused the death of 900 persons, he had already killed mages. It's absolutely impossible they're not in search of that freak."

There was a movement in the crowd, quick talks, weighing up the pros and cons.

"Didn't Makarov explain this to you?" Levy suddenly asked.

"Makarov preferred to… stress the wrong things in that Guild." Someone else said. There was a murmur of approbation.

"Ah…" Levy stated.

She joined Gajeel, grabbed his hand and they both watched Litanie being involved in controversy. Levy eventually told herself that at Fairy Tail, Makarov was often taking the decisions alone and then announcing them even if his children could disagree. But at Litanie the master wasn't really the one who decided. It wasn't like it really worked, as she could see, but deep down Levy thought it was a fair procedure.

Wendy crossed the crowd and Levy gave her other hand to her, watching the debate without a word. For a moment the little Script mage doubted that this discussion could lead to anything else that a fight. But in the end the majority decided: Dexter would be dragged to the Council.

"So it's settled." The master concluded and the silence fell, the last opponents grew quiet. Levy remained breathless and she smiled at Gajeel who smiled back. It was decided that Natsu would let the mages of Litanie hand Dexter over to the Council as a sign of gratitude to have allowed Gajeel and Levy to come back to Magnolia. The three Fairy Tail mages went back to their own Guild to avoid any suspicion, they couldn't stay away for too long.

Levy watched Wendy leave with concern.

**X_x**

"Did you take me for an idiot?" Makarov began as soon as Natsu, Juvia and Wendy crossed the door of the hall. There was no one else, and the master of Fairy Tail was taller than usual. It meant only one thing: he was beyond angry. His tone had been sharp and icy. Tears gathered in Wendy's eyes, but she remained silent.

"Did you forget we have a mage who can read minds?" Makarov added.

"Warren." Natsu growled between his teeth.

"You can only blame yourselves." The master went on. "You didn't have to lie. Especially about such a serious matter. What did you think? Being a Guild means trusting each other."

"Juvia doesn't think anyone here had tried to trust their friend Gajeel." The water mage answered sharply as a winter hail. "Juvia knows that members of a Guild must protect each others, even when pride prevent someone to ask for help. Levy apart, no one here had bother to protect Gajeel."

"And what about Levy's protection?" Makarov replied.

"And what about trusting her, when she says she's alright and Gajeel didn't hurt her?" Juvia bit back without backing down.

"By the way, they are together. So you were beyond wrong." Natsu commented.

"I don't believe it." Makarov growled furiously.

"Juvia gives you an advice then: go to Litanie to check by yourself. Levy had been ready to cross a mountain, she had put her life on the line to allow Gajeel to escape the Council. Juvia thinks you should listen to her story carefully. If we are a Guild, with everything Juvia puts in this words, everything you taught her, so you won't treat Levy as a crazy girl and you will beg for her forgiveness."

"Ah… and in case you're interested: Gajeel helped us, Levy and I, to fight an enemy. A man named Dexter who is after the Dragons Slayers, the Dragons, or anything close to them." Natsu added on a cold tone, the tone he usually used for his enemies. And then, he became softer again. For the second time of his life, he was awkwardly trying to be tactful.

"And Wendy… Wendy just learned Grandeeney is… dead… she was killed by that… Dexter."

Then Natsu and Juvia left, leaving the master before the little Dragon Slayer's tearful eyes. Suddenly his height decreased and his anger melt like snow on the sun.

"I'm sorry." The master whispered to Wendy. She nodded, and two tears rolled on her cheeks, and crashed on the floor. Obviously, he had been wrong, well at least partly wrong. He thought that Natsu didn't really know what happened while they were both alone into the snow, no one could know what happened, no one but Levy. What if Gajeel was trying to put up a good show? What if he had mess with Levy's mind? He had heard many stories about the victims feeling strange things for their abductors. And they had been close and alone for so long... It was time to have a word with her.

**X_x**

**Oh oh... Makarov is coming back... what now?**

**And yeah, Warren was useful! Finally!**

**And ah... poor Wendy too.**

**So, what did you think? About Dexter? Gajeel? What's going to happen now? Any idea about how it's gonna end? 2 chapters left, remember!**

**See ya soon! (well I hope so ^^')**


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